It must have been Talkie the Toaster from Red Dwarf

I *KNEW* that the toaster was looking at me funny this morning. The damn thing is conspiring with the microwave for control of the freezer. Thankfully the Lean Green Milling Machine is on a separate subnet and hasn't found them yet.

I'm not sure about the radio alarm either. I'm sure it laughs when it wakes me.

This is the funniest thing i have read today.

Will this man be responsible for the first cylon war? the toasters take over the world, lol.

Well done to him, i think this is a briilaint extrapolation on the the dangers of making everything reliant on networking solutions.... heck thats how the cylons nuked the 12 colonies in the first place (In battlestar galatica for those who think i have gone mad)

Pause for thought? Naa but hacking a network with a kettle might be another cool invention, wonder if you could get the uber hacker kitchen set "for the serious hacker, hacking comes before coffee and toast" lol

Talky toaster isn't it!

"I don't want any toast, I just want to read my emails"

"Ah, so you're a Waffle man."

>>If an appliance or home device comes as a gift

But how can you be sure your mother didn't buy it from a dodgy dealer??

The only way to be sure is to pop out the microcontroller and reverse engineer a new one built from discrete parts, preferably valves, so you can look inside to make sure nobody has bugged it.

@AC

Your beer fridge must be full of Fosters if your toaster and microwave want control of the freezer! Get some decent beer in.

"Anybody want any toast?"

"Look, I don't want any toast and he doesn't want any toast. Not now, not ever. No toast!"

"How about a muffin?"

Love that episode :o)

Perhaps I'm missing the point, but what possible benifit is a network attachment to a toaster?

So remote access is the key function to a networked Kitchen?

Pre plan your cooking,assuming the food is in place ready to be cooked...

I wonder if we can network our minds so we dont even have to leave the house at some point in the future,we can work from home!!!! WOW!!! or not........

I like being human ,active and in control.

and you will get burned

mine's the fireman's jacket on the left.

Wtf do you need a networked toaster for in the first place? Does it send you an email when the bread is finished browning? anyone who buys one of these in the first place deserves to be hacked!

Think I'll just get my coat .............

Simply overclock your SLI rig with the fans turned off and you will never need a networked toaster again.

another great reason not to buy crap from china.

Isn't it obvious the advantages – it can download and burn images of the latest miracle onto the toast, thus making the ability to sell at a profit on fleabay

Either that or just a way for the manufacturers to charge £50 for a £5 pound piece of hardware

Those of you old enough may remember the episode where the household appliances went mad. Be afraid! BE VERY AFRAID!!!

but would buy them anyway since most of the good bread only works with their toasters.

.. what we might worry about is the various LAN-connected toys you can get. Networked media players, Home NAS boxes, that new Western Digital thingie that lets you share content over t' internet - they're all fairly sophisticated IP hosts that could potentially launch an attack against PCs on your LAN.

You're trusting that the authors of the firmware were just trying to make the product work......

The appliances are advancing their true plan. To gain access to the bathroom and throw themselves into the tub while innocent civillians relax inside of it. We cannot let these terrorists operate, we must strike for the free peoples of the world, and defend ourselves against those that would do us harm!

-Future White House response to Appliance wars, and suicide shorting.

with a name like "Dror Shalev" you're already half way to becoming an evil cybernetic overlord. Sounds vaguely similar to that guy that created the Daleks...

The toaster wants internet access so it can find out the day's weather and burn in an appropriate image. See http://www.theregister.co.uk/2001/06/04/bread_as_a_display_device/

Hasn't anyone ever heard of pop-up blockers?

Coat on, toast being munched...

Don't get me wrong. I love technology, in all its shapes and forms.

However, when we as a society end up in a situation where we've spend time, money on effort on producing a "networked toaster", then somthing is seriously wrong.

Apart from the obvious "to show off a SecCons", what on Earth would you do with a networked toaster? Does your toaster need to communicate with your iPod? Do we really need a text message telling us that those crumpets are ready? Will these toasters support IPv6? Will we have to spend $500 in licensing fees for the "Ultimate" toasting experiance?

My advice, spend more money on renewable energy sources, if only to power my fully WiFi enabled kitchen sink. I've just installed the Reporting Server and I think my lights are dimmer, what with its new DRM capabilities eating all the power.

Breadband?

At least it's not flying yet.

Chris, for making me laugh at work, you are hereby banned from posting to El Reg until my boss goes away.

What next, bribing the door lock when you forget your keys!

Thick Cut

I really need to get home.