UK Trade Invest have apparently done a lot of market sector surveys. The jokes are near endless on the 'automotive' sector page here:

http://tinyurl.com/2yxxmk

Seems we have good opportunities to sell cars to China, Poland, Czech, Hungary &c - erm...

aren't these the places that are making the cars we buy???

UKTI have completely and utterly failed to assess the UK's ability to generate Paris Hilton related foreign exchange, a national disgrace

"`...You hadn't exactly gone out of your way to call attention to them had you? I mean like actually telling anyone or anything.'

`But the plans were on display...'

`On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.'

`That's the display department.'

`With a torch.'

`Ah, well the lights had probably gone.'

`So had the stairs.'

`But look you found the notice didn't you?'

`Yes,' said Arthur, `yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying "Beware of The Leopard".'"

... actually, I'd better not start because I'll just be consigning this message to that growing pile of input that doesn't make it bast the black helicopters.

... however, in conclusion it is difficult to miss the very simple fact that we are now being controlled, governed and groomed by an entire legion of individuals who detest education and good health care for the masses and who, collectively, amount to: nothing more intelligent than Ms Hilton's left nipple; nothing remotely close to a Dalek's charm; less likelihood to serve a just jail term for the crimes they commit in broad daylight than I am likely to spend a furtive night with Kylie; and, perhaps most telling of all, the business sense of pebble, the memory of a fart and the common sense of Britney Spears. Happy New Year everyone.

Piss up ---- Brewery----

Does this ring a bell?

As a former Civil servant sold to the highest bidder in the MoD DII(F) debacle and now facing redundancy I'd like to know exactly where these government IT initiatives are coming from. None of them seem to end up benefiting anyone except the usual suspects (EDS, Fujitsu, Cap Gemini) financially, certainly not the taxpayer. He/she ends up with a system that costs often twice its original cost projection, leaks data like a sieve, exports jobs overseas and worst of all, doesn't work. Six months later the NAO starts screaming about the cost, various Parliamentary committees start pointing fingers and maybe EDS loses the contract and Cap Gemini picks it up (or vice versa). Meanwhile, the Civil Service loses more and more people with IT experience (ie, people who can make computers work, not bullshit about ITIL) until no-one remains to challenge the claims the contractors make. Does any of the noise the NAO and Parliament make result in a change of direction? No. Why?

Really CPA/Gemini is owned by the French. Logica/CMG is half dutch. EDS, Accenture etc. etc are wholly USian. ICL is owned by the Japanese.

Apart from some body shops and a few niche market specialists with no hope of any growth there is no UK IT industry.

And why does our government insist on using the term ICT which is never used outside of whitehall and understood nowhere. Its as if they had an iniative for marketing Horseless Carraiges.

Whats more unless they completely change the way small businesses are treated there will never again be a UK software industry.

So in the end they are taking our taxes to promote an industy that does not and never will exist.