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back to article Bought some uranium ore? You'll need the anal douche, then

We're obliged this chilly Monday to reader Arthur Chance for alerting us to the agreeable fact that Amazon.com is doing a nice line in discounted uranium ore. Well, the glowing testimonials speak for themselves, but what really caught our eye was the "Customers Who Bought Items Like This Also Bought" bit at the bottom: Amazon …

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Happy

Is this treatment for...

Is this treatment for nuclear piles, perhaps?

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Black Helicopters

Litvinenko

Now we know how the radiactive material was introduced into Alexander Litvinenko's body...

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Joke

Awww dammit..

.. processing takes an additional 4 to 5 days.

I'll have to put back my evil scheme for world domination back a week.

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Coat

Uranium ores ?

Standing around in their underwear suggest the ladies to be more like common ores to me.

I'll get my etc.

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Alien

And...

I followed that link (OK, so its a boring day), and although the "also bought" link now lacks the French knickers, the next item beside the, umm, medical devices is "The Simpsons Movie, (widescreen edition)". Not to mention the "Fresh whole rabbit" and the UFO O2 detector... You have to wonder.

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Happy

@lansalot

very funny: CaWS (Cracked a wee smile)

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Silver badge

Bikini Atoll

Is that the answer that connects them all?

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Alien

Uranium

useful for cleaning uranus...?

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Silver badge
Boffin

1.2 Gigawatts!

Ah, so Doc Brown was right! 22 years into the future, and you can already buy nuclear fuel!

Anyway ... it would still take Marty a week to get his DeLorean running again ...

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Joke

Aha!

So that's how the Iranians enrich their uranium.

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Eh?

I don't get it? Why does Amazon.com sell a variety of anal douches? I always knew our septic cousins were a little strange...

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Flame

Am I the only person who finds this disturbing?

I'm waiting for a science-bod to post reasons on why this is nothing for us to worry about.

Anyone?

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u238

Uranium 238 is hardly radioactive at all and isn't nearly unstable enough to produce a sustained chain reaction. This is probably what they've got left over after they pull the fissionable U235 out of it. Stock ore comes with about 0.77% U235, you need 3% for most fission reactors, and something like 95% before it is considered weapons grade. As far as I know just about anyone can buy U3O8 (Uranium Oxide) ore for about $30/lb, but that isn't terribly useful unless you've got an impressive enrichment setup in your basement.

Would make for a neat paperweight though...

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Fear not

The uranium on offer is U238, which is only an emitter of weak alpha particles. The stuff that goes "Bang!" is U235, which is found in naturally extracted uranium but comprises less than 1% . That's why the Middle East camel jockeys are busy churning out centrifuges.

If the label on the jar is accurate and it contains just U238 then what they are selling is Depleted Uranium, popular in military circles for making very dense penetrators. Which could, I suppose, explain why "People who bought ............

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Paris Hilton

@ censored

Uhm, but the uranium doesn't bother you?

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Joke

The other customer

The other customer must have been Ahmedinijad.

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Alert

What is this???

Further down the page is the "Customers who viewed this item also viewed..." section which has something interesting on page 9/9.

SPECIAL ORDER DEPT. 30 MISC.

For $227,272,727.27 ???

I'll take 4 of those......

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Thumb Up

Prepare to be probed!

<-- wrong finger, but you get the idea ...

Try searching Amazon for "UFO detector" -- you also get rectal syringes.

It's only the polite thing to do, if you are expecting to get anally probed.

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Happy

Arthur Chance?

Is he a good friend of Ivor Biggun and Hugh Jass by any coincidence?

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But wait! It gets worse!

Amazon customers who bought armored land tanks ALSO bought anal douches!

http://www.amazon.com/JL421-Badonkadonk-Land-Cruiser-Tank/dp/B00067F1CE/ref=pd_sbs_misc_title_1

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And if you need more radioactive sources...

http://www.imagesco.com/geiger/radioactive-sources.html

go to the source of all the interesting linking.

not near as humorous as the Amazon links though.

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Bronze badge

lovely color, but...

It makes a lovely colour in paint or as a glaze (as does lead), but like lead or any other heavy metal, it is very poisonous.

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Shrek

I see customers also bought Shrek 3 DVD which could explain his(?) colour.

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