The Register® — Biting the hand that feeds IT

Paris and Britney top US kids' Santa naughty list

Brent Gardner

11. Failing to have a suitable Paris Hilton angle :-P 

Fucking awesome! Good work guys!

Steve Browne

I prayed for a bike .... 

... but they said it didnt work like that, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.

Les Matthew

There is no way 

Coat

that I'd ever want Santa discharging his sack in my bedroom.

mark carlisle

two points... 

Paris Hilton

12. managing to put as many innuendos into one santa related article aka 'santas discharging sack' but top marks to 'fingering britney'

13. slapping the person who manages to come up with point 99..

Icey

Number 12 

Thumb Up

Saying "wheres the IT Angle?" anywhere on the Reg!

Anonymous Coward

Number 14 (or is it 15 now?) 

Gates Horns

Being Bill Gates...

<form method="get" action="coat">

<input type="submit" value="I can't believe I'm sad enough to do this properly...">

</form>

Anonymous John

Why isn't 

Amy Whinehouse on the list?

Anonymous Coward

Forget Santa 

Go

I got presents for em. The wages of sin is death ,but after taxes it's just a tired feeling.

b shubin

Add another 

Pirate

loudly pontificating about one's strong moral values (and running a socially conservative political campaign), though one has the character of a starving New York city rat, the compassion of a snapper turtle, the power drive of Genghis Khan, and the political philosophy that would cause Benito Mussolini to shrug knowingly and say "Well, of course his name is Rudolph Giuliani, best of both worlds, no?"

http://www.usatoday.com/news/politics/election2008/2007-11-28-giuliani-bills_N.htm

someone is due a lump of coal, but we need it to power the electric grid, so maybe we should just convert him to biodiesel instead?

Fozzy

thank $Diety$ 

Paris Hilton

I thought I was the only sick preverted and twisted individual who did a double take on this line

"Regarding just how to impress Santa into discharging his sack in your bedroom, the young"

Particularly as I thought of Spears or hilton as being dressed (or down) as Saint knickerless

Steven Knox

Number 0 

Pirate

Reg hacks who don't allow comments on their pages -- c'mon look at all the fun you're missing, Andy!

Anonymous Coward

Too much 

Unhappy

Too...many...double....entendres...need....to...lie...down. Far....too....many....scary...images....in...head....

Graham Jordan

Santa discharging his sack 

I think I'd sooner have a lump of coal that fat bearded pie eating slave drivers Semen sprayed around my bedroom.

John Imrie

Sharing 

Black Helicopters

These children are being encouraged to share by this 'Father' Christmas.

Does the RIAA know about this.

Anonymous Coward

You utter, utter bastards 

Coat

Cosying up to the punters again eh Lester? ;-)

Chris Morrison

Genius 

Paris Hilton

"how to impress Santa into discharging his sack in your bedroom"

Literary Genius!

This article would have been so much better with pictures (of Paris and Britney, not of santa discharing his sack please!)

Chris

Risky

Sack of coal for you 

Ah yet, I must put up some more Britney specials on fleabay. "Buy Britney's underwear as worn for night out ....etc". All I need is a few empty envelopes.

Dave

Footie-free Summer 

Coat

Since when was failing to qualify for Euro 2008 a bad thing? Now people will be able to go and do useful things next summer and the BBC won't feel compelled to spend licence-payers' money on covering the event.

3x2

@Dave 

Since when was failing to qualify for Euro 2008 a bad thing?

May you receive the full content of Santa's sack !

Lee

@Number 12 

IT Angle

"oh no, you said IT..."

"shit, now I said IT..."

"I said IT again..."

"I can't stop saying IT!..."

thanks, mine's the one hanging on the shrubbery...

Hogfather

HELLO SMALL CHILD 

Alert

HO HO HO. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS INSIGNIFICANT BEING?

HO HO HO.

Nathanael Bastone

@Les Matthew 

Thumb Up

well said!

Sam Therapy

@Dave 

Jobs Horns

What makes you think the Beeb and/or ITV haven't already spent the money on broadcasting rights? I bet they're crapping their pants now.

EvilDwarf

Santa I've been a very good boy this year... 

And I'd like a drunken knickerless strumpet in my stocking, please

Peter Timon

Santa discharging sack 

Lester, absolutely brilliant, I nearly fell off my chair laughing.

Slaine

LMAO EvilDwarf 

40 (ish): Accepting illegal bribes, oops - sorry - DONATIONS from undisclosed sources.