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back to article Wannabe US bank robber fails intelligibility test

A wannabe US bank robber failed dismally to relieve an Alabama bank of its cash since the teller simply could not understand what on earth he was saying. According to The Birmingham News, the blagger entered the Compass Bank in eastern Birmingham last Friday lunchtime, "walked up to a teller and tried to explain that he wanted …

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Coat

Part of a health campaign?

This just highlights the importance of getting your flu jab.

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Joke

lingo

Maybe she couldnt understand brummy talk.

Could have been ozzy wanting to make a withdrawl.

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"Computer says no"

(Coughs into face of blagger and stares at him blankley, seeming to elicit a response and yet with no "lights on")

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Coat

Welease Bwian

did the guy have a lisp or something?

"thissss issss a sssstick up! placsssse sssssix million dollarssss in thissss ssssack"

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Bronze badge

This all sounds a bit unlikely to me....

Consider - if the teller couldn't understand him and if the "robber" got frustrated and left, then how on earth do we even know that it even happened?

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The robber was probably speaking perfect English

...but being in Alabama the teller wouldn't be able to understand anything more sophisticated than Buford T Justice.

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Coat

@Anonymous Coward

No, that's not a lisp. A lisp would have been more like "Thith ith a thtick up! Plathe thicth million dollarth in thith thack!" What you've got there is more like Gollum - just add a smidgeon of "Nice fishshshsh" and "Nasssssty cruel hobbitses" and you're away.

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Anonymous Coward

The decline and fall.......

Has Amanfrommars now descended into armed robbery?

Did the cashier need a hour for their eyes to un-glaze ?

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Joke

@ Martin Benson

Witnetheth

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Joke

Southern Slang

probably was speaking some Louisiana slang that no one seems to understand although it was 'bama....maybe he was an Auburn fan trying to make a "withdrawl" at a bank in Tuscaloosa....yes that last bit is something us Yanks that watch college football in the states would know about...

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so that is...

..what Jimmy Nail is up to nowadays?

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Probably nervous

Up with your sticks!.

This is a handhold!

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@Adrian

Reminded me more of the G-man. "Plasssssse all your money, in the bag or; there will be, unforeseen conssssequencesssssss."

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@Michael

You officially win my "Spit my tea over my computer due to laughter" award.

The prize is: you owe me a new keyboard

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Coat

non-verbal communication

Let's see, ski mask, shotgun, jumping up and down waving large sack. 'What was that Sir? No we do not take shotguns on deposit'. 'Okay, Three syllables, first sounds like 'bob' ...

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@Chris W

<< "...but being in Alabama the teller wouldn't be able to understand anything more sophisticated than Buford T Justice. >>

Nope, you've got it entrely backwards... It was Buford T. Justice having a go. Bank tellers actually have to be understood, whilst lawdogs often find it advantageous, or at least no handicap, to be uninteligible.

Real life experience:

I worked a Lieutenant, in the Nav, who came from Al'bammy. His accent was so damned thick that we had to have a Filipino CPO translate his statements for us.

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@Michael

I too give Michael a 6.0 (Olympic style). First time I have turned heads laughing at El Reg. Brill.

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Paris Hilton

The importance...

This just illustrates the importance once again of staying in school. You can't even be a successful scumbag these days without an education.

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Coat

Gimme fo fitty

She pralie cann't understan' cuz he dun ax righ'.

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Pirate

@ Adrian

Not Gollum; 'All crime isss committed by arsssholesss therefore being an arssshole isss itssself a crime, punissshable by Death..'

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Bronze badge

South

You have visit the deep south to fully understand. Its not English.It worse then some of those bastardize Brit accents welll maybe not :). Gets coat now. If don't live in that town you wont understand a single word. For god sakes don't ask t hem to spell it. THat assumes a few things . One they can read and write. Two that they can spell in English..

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Tim

Modern World

You can tell things have changed, you can't even rob a bank now-adays without leaving school with an A-Level in Elocution. All the good bank roberies require a 2:1 at degree level.

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Thumb Up

OK, motherstickers! This is a fuck-up!

Perhaps he was British. "Oi! I'm gonna trouser your wonga, so stick it in this 'ere tin tack and I'll be off down the apples and pears!"

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Joke

Black English?

Maybe speaking in that weird English common between gangsta rappers? Or maybe it *was* an actual rapper trying to do the stickup ;)

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Thumb Up

Put the money in the bag

I have a gub

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Tom
Bronze badge

Why is there a writers strike on TV

This would be a perfect goodie for the Tonight show's "Headlines" segment. There have been others like this before. One that comes to mind is the teller that sent the would be robber back to spell the note correctly.

For those not in the USA (or where the Tonight show is played), it is a late night show that frequently finds humor it the most normal of places. The "headlines" segment shows silly stories and then comments on them. Some are misprints, others can be adjacent stories.

As for the writers strike, the late night shows here in the USA are currently in re-runs (normally produced the same day) till it ends.

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Feshizzle my Nizzle

Who needs security guards and law enforcement officials in general if you have tellers like that. I think she should get a sizable cash award for her actions above and beyond the call of duty, and making one more criminal look like an idiot. I wish we had people like that in south africa.

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Rob
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Go

@David Wiernicki

You git, the title of your post now means the whole office knows I was wasting time reading ElReg (laughter is unheard of in our office).

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Alert

confused.com

i must admit i don't understand this story. If he was impossible to understand then how do we know he was trying to rob the place ? If he had a gun or some other threatening weapon the teller would understand it was a robbery even if he spoke no English at all. Sounds more like a disgruntled citizen wanting to sort out a banking issue which they totally failed to handle.

tsk Americans. :)

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Joke

Y'all ain't never heard of a robber?

Truth be told, I've been to Alabama and some of their accents even I, a good old boy from the South, can't understand. Once, I had tell me about his truck: "My lights are 'coon eyed." Slur the words together into one long word, that is the way he sounded. And I didn't have a clue what he was saying. But I finally figured out the words, but not the meaning.

So to be fair, I believe this story. People in Alabama ain't got a Forrest Gump accent. I'm sure the robber was just plum frustrated.

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