This just highlights the importance of getting your flu jab.

Maybe she couldnt understand brummy talk.

Could have been ozzy wanting to make a withdrawl.

did the guy have a lisp or something?

"thissss issss a sssstick up! placsssse sssssix million dollarssss in thissss ssssack"

No, that's not a lisp. A lisp would have been more like "Thith ith a thtick up! Plathe thicth million dollarth in thith thack!" What you've got there is more like Gollum - just add a smidgeon of "Nice fishshshsh" and "Nasssssty cruel hobbitses" and you're away.

Witnetheth

probably was speaking some Louisiana slang that no one seems to understand although it was 'bama....maybe he was an Auburn fan trying to make a "withdrawl" at a bank in Tuscaloosa....yes that last bit is something us Yanks that watch college football in the states would know about...

You officially win my "Spit my tea over my computer due to laughter" award.

The prize is: you owe me a new keyboard

Let's see, ski mask, shotgun, jumping up and down waving large sack. 'What was that Sir? No we do not take shotguns on deposit'. 'Okay, Three syllables, first sounds like 'bob' ...

I too give Michael a 6.0 (Olympic style). First time I have turned heads laughing at El Reg. Brill.

This just illustrates the importance once again of staying in school. You can't even be a successful scumbag these days without an education.

She pralie cann't understan' cuz he dun ax righ'.

Not Gollum; 'All crime isss committed by arsssholesss therefore being an arssshole isss itssself a crime, punissshable by Death..'

Perhaps he was British. "Oi! I'm gonna trouser your wonga, so stick it in this 'ere tin tack and I'll be off down the apples and pears!"

Maybe speaking in that weird English common between gangsta rappers? Or maybe it *was* an actual rapper trying to do the stickup ;)

I have a gub

Who needs security guards and law enforcement officials in general if you have tellers like that. I think she should get a sizable cash award for her actions above and beyond the call of duty, and making one more criminal look like an idiot. I wish we had people like that in south africa.

You git, the title of your post now means the whole office knows I was wasting time reading ElReg (laughter is unheard of in our office).

i must admit i don't understand this story. If he was impossible to understand then how do we know he was trying to rob the place ? If he had a gun or some other threatening weapon the teller would understand it was a robbery even if he spoke no English at all. Sounds more like a disgruntled citizen wanting to sort out a banking issue which they totally failed to handle.

tsk Americans. :)

Truth be told, I've been to Alabama and some of their accents even I, a good old boy from the South, can't understand. Once, I had tell me about his truck: "My lights are 'coon eyed." Slur the words together into one long word, that is the way he sounded. And I didn't have a clue what he was saying. But I finally figured out the words, but not the meaning.

So to be fair, I believe this story. People in Alabama ain't got a Forrest Gump accent. I'm sure the robber was just plum frustrated.