Headline
Rwanda Mourns Loss of Paris Hilton
Well, as you can see here, our big Paris Hilton headline competition provoked a bit of a stampede among Reg commentators keen to contribute their bit to the advancement of Vulture Central's award-winning non-IT-related coverage. For the record, the headline and intro you now see are a composite of the best on offer as chosen by …
Paris Hilton BORK BORK BORK
sorry- first thing that came to mind
All because she was feeling empty inside
Partier Paris Picks Posers, Chump Changes Charity
Sub-head:
Priorities re-assessed, pointlessness re-affirmed
Paris Hilton drops everything to leave twinkle in Jap's eye...
Hilton postpones Rwanda for one night in Tokyo.
Paris Hilton does the Tokyo Universe -
Besides being a jailbird
Or are you going to disqualify me because you said that already without knowing it worked..?
"Thats Hot" she fumed as she asked for a glass of water!
Underwear was nowhere to be seen.
Also, did anyone else misread a line in the article as the following:
"[PH] was airlifted yesterday into a media thong"
here's a couple
Paris Hilton exposes her values.
Paris Hilton leaves her mark, by pissing on Rwanda
No point entering now.
"Paris Hilton deals Rwandan blow - job with japanese babes" wins without a doubt!
Paris Hilton receives honorary doctorate for services to mankind
"Paris Hilton Ate My Platoon" Says Dog Soldier.
Paris Dies in Gutter, Pap Sells £1M Corpse Pic.
...Sub Comment : "Rwanda breathes sigh of relief at exiting Paris"
or Paris chooses Bullet train over bullets
Self explanatory, I hope.
Japanese scientists clone Paris Hilton every Country on Earth to receive Goodwill Ambassador; )
Paris Hilton in African, Japanese Ménage à trois shocker! (No Video)
Paris abandons Rwanda to save Universe
News in that Paris Hilton's local metro stop is to close for refurbishment is in...
http://www.hilton.co.uk/paris
...remains someone I have no interest in reading stories about, least of all on The Register."
And as a subheading you could have "Now in process: Less of the heiress"
I just loved the line
" the multi-talented heiress was airlifted yesterday into a media thong"
huh? What . . . did I misread it . . . ?
Still gets publicity for being pointless vaccuous media whore.
Paris Hilton Does Miss Universe
(sub headline) Promises to do Rwanda next week
rarara
Sick Chix Nix Kids
In other news; Dry-Cleaning shares up, Kleenex shares up, Hotel shares down.
Sony to open new camcorder tape plant.
2008 Internet speeds forecast to be slow.
Yeah, too big for a headline but what the heck?
Subtitle: Feelings aren't reciprocated, through.
Paris crowns Japanese babes over Rwanda starving
Paris prefers Japanese women to Rwandan
Charity is hard but judging swimwear is harder! explains Paris
Paris is airlifted to Japan escaping Rwanda!
I can leave a bigger mark with Japanese babes than those in Rwanda, so says Paris
Raw fish over dead cow!
Let's face it, she's probably only there for the rice wine.
'ny
Paris Hilton Wares' Yellow, Dumps Brown
Ls and Rs not confused
As above...
And more to the point, who's better educated? My moneys on the Rwandan's.
Sex sex sex .... please
It takes a certain type of person to aim for Rwanda and hit japan!