back to article Paris Hilton exits missionary position to save Universe

Well, as you can see here, our big Paris Hilton headline competition provoked a bit of a stampede among Reg commentators keen to contribute their bit to the advancement of Vulture Central's award-winning non-IT-related coverage. For the record, the headline and intro you now see are a composite of the best on offer as chosen by …

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Headline

Rwanda Mourns Loss of Paris Hilton

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Paris Hilton

Swedish Chef

Paris Hilton BORK BORK BORK

sorry- first thing that came to mind

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Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton deals Rwandan blow - job with japanese babes

All because she was feeling empty inside

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Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton Big In Japan

Nuff Said

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Silver badge

Well, here goes...

Partier Paris Picks Posers, Chump Changes Charity

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Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton surprises no-one, gets coverage

Sub-head:

Priorities re-assessed, pointlessness re-affirmed

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Surely its..

Paris Hilton drops everything to leave twinkle in Jap's eye...

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Headline!

Hilton postpones Rwanda for one night in Tokyo.

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Happy

Paris Hilton does the Tokyo Universe

Paris Hilton does the Tokyo Universe -

Besides being a jailbird

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Paris Hilton, if you think you're hard enough

Or are you going to disqualify me because you said that already without knowing it worked..?

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Still isn't dead

Sub title : Satans minions delighted

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Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton Eats Baby Seal

"Thats Hot" she fumed as she asked for a glass of water!

Underwear was nowhere to be seen.

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Heart

"Paris Hilton leaves Rwanda; Hits Japan; Misses Universe."

Also, did anyone else misread a line in the article as the following:

"[PH] was airlifted yesterday into a media thong"

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Silver badge

Title..

here's a couple

Paris Hilton exposes her values.

Paris Hilton leaves her mark, by pissing on Rwanda

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Paris Hilton

Oh well

No point entering now.

"Paris Hilton deals Rwandan blow - job with japanese babes" wins without a doubt!

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Thumb Up

My two cents

Paris Hilton receives honorary doctorate for services to mankind

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It can ONLY be

"Paris Hilton Ate My Platoon" Says Dog Soldier.

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Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton Rwandas' off (again)

I'll get my coat

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IT Angle

My Effort

Paris Dies in Gutter, Pap Sells £1M Corpse Pic.

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Paris Hilton

"Nipping it in the bud", claims Paris

...Sub Comment : "Rwanda breathes sigh of relief at exiting Paris"

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Paris Hilton: "Bring us sushi" demand starving Rwandan orphans

or Paris chooses Bullet train over bullets

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IT Angle

Paris Hilton Drops Tutsis for Titsies

Self explanatory, I hope.

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Paris Titilates Rawandans, Engulfs Japanese.

Japanese scientists clone Paris Hilton every Country on Earth to receive Goodwill Ambassador; )

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Non topical

Paris Hilton in African, Japanese Ménage à trois shocker! (No Video)

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Paris Hilton

Paris abandons Rwanda to save Universe

Paris abandons Rwanda to save Universe

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Happy

Paris Hilton's tunnel closes for reburbishment

News in that Paris Hilton's local metro stop is to close for refurbishment is in...

http://www.hilton.co.uk/paris

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Ben
Paris Hilton

Hutu and Tutsi United

No Hilton in Kigali

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"Paris Hilton...

...remains someone I have no interest in reading stories about, least of all on The Register."

And as a subheading you could have "Now in process: Less of the heiress"

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No title but . . .

I just loved the line

" the multi-talented heiress was airlifted yesterday into a media thong"

huh? What . . . did I misread it . . . ?

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Paris Hilton declared non entity

Still gets publicity for being pointless vaccuous media whore.

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Yawn, Yawn, Yawn

Paris Hilton Does Miss Universe

(sub headline) Promises to do Rwanda next week

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Alert

Paris Hilton - 'Fingers up to Rwanda for quick thrill in Tokoyo'

rarara

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Paris Hilton

Stupid Call-Girl Goes Far Eastern: Tits Instead of Orphans

Sick Chix Nix Kids

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Anonymous Coward

Paris Hilton Pledges to Leave a Mark on the World !

In other news; Dry-Cleaning shares up, Kleenex shares up, Hotel shares down.

Sony to open new camcorder tape plant.

2008 Internet speeds forecast to be slow.

Yeah, too big for a headline but what the heck?

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Paris Hilton to Miss Universe

Subtitle: Feelings aren't reciprocated, through.

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Paris Hilton

A few:

Paris crowns Japanese babes over Rwanda starving

Paris prefers Japanese women to Rwandan

Charity is hard but judging swimwear is harder! explains Paris

Paris is airlifted to Japan escaping Rwanda!

I can leave a bigger mark with Japanese babes than those in Rwanda, so says Paris

Raw fish over dead cow!

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jj

Paris Hilton Polls Mori - No Comment

My £0.02 worth

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Paris Hilton Judges In Japan for the Sake of It

Let's face it, she's probably only there for the rice wine.

'ny

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Happy

here is your risky healine

Paris Hilton Wares' Yellow, Dumps Brown

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Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton Drops Everything For Fashion Election

Ls and Rs not confused

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Paris Hilton Checks Out Of Hotel Rwanda To Check Out Japanese Babes

As above...

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Go

Paris Hilton dumps starving Rwandan's for starving blondes, who's skinnier?

And more to the point, who's better educated? My moneys on the Rwandan's.

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Caring Paris Hilton Blows needy Rwandans prefering Asian babes

Sex sex sex .... please

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IT Girl needs SAT NAV!

It takes a certain type of person to aim for Rwanda and hit japan!

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