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back to article Singapore Airlines bans A380 rumpy-pumpy

Singapore Airlines has asked cash-flush customers to refrain from making the beast with two backs while enjoying its A380 private suites between Singapore and Sydney, Reuters reports. The airline's shiny new aircraft boasts 12 such suites with double beds, but the company has slapped a ban on couples joining the mile-high club …

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Joke

Who's the first

....to suggest they call it Virgin Airlines?

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Heart

Right....

So I pay close to eight grand for a plane ticket. I get a private room with a double bed. My wife and I settle in, drink some champagne, watch a film yada yada yada. Sorry but we're going to have sex. What in the blue hell does the airline think it's going to do about this? Heck if we keep it down how are they going to know? Bounce measurement of some sort? I can hear it now:

"Sex in the private suites is strictly forbidden on all our flights. It is a federal offence to tamper with the sex detector under the bed."

Perhaps it's a necessary measure. You never know, terrorists might invent a new way of dangerously mixing two fluids if this is left uncheked, after all.

Utter nonsense.

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Silver badge

New travel kit items

The statement: "All we ask of customers, wherever they are on our aircraft, is to observe standards that don’t cause offence to other customers and crew" is not saying no sex, just it should not offend.

Can we assume that the 1st class traveller's kit will now have a gag (as well as the traditional blindfold) to keep the noises down during turbulant activity?

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Paris Hilton

What they don't know....

If it's all private, who's to know what goes on in those private suites.

Apart from the hostess who has to change the sheets and finds them either a) sticky, or b) crispy.

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Hmmm

If I were them, I’d be less worried about public decency and more worried about the cabin crew wiring the suites for sound/video and then wasting time perving - not to mention exposing the airline to considerable liability for invasion of privacy.

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Paris Hilton

Baggage Allowance?

They seem to be missing a 'trick' here.

First class travellers will get an extra baggage allowance anyway; could this not include an extra bagage for the single traveller?

Perhaps even a well known celebrity for the more discerning passenger?

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Hmm

Would a wank be classed as sex? If so, I'd better watch myself next time.

But man, those female cabin crew are sweet.

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Coat

Can we assume?

Based upon a story about a Scottish connection last week, can we assume that the airline doesn't allow you to take your bicycle on board either?

A

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Coat

@ Robin Traylor

ROFL - CCTV perhaps ?? I can see a whole new genre of youtube videos spewing forth.

lol Watch out for ALl In One Night In Paris/Berlin/Hong Kong coming soon.

hee hee

/taxiiiiiiiiii

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Just wait until...

...the plane hits a little turbulence and then enjoy the 'ride'. Might be a bit inconvenient if the 'fasten seatbelt' sign comes on mid way through though.

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Paris Hilton

French design at its best

Double bed, personal cabin and no noise proofing...

Somehow I do not think we would ever see that being shipped by Boeing...

The "outrage" also says something about how different countries have very different attitudes to certain... err... activities...

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Turbulence

@William Allan

Hold on - that's a really good point. What are people meant to do if they're enjoying their double bed and the plane hits turbulence.

Are Singapore Airlines really fitting their beds with restraints?

Is there a growth market for transonic airborne dungeons?

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Paris Hilton

No What?

For $2,000 an hour they should have a bevy of beauties to choose from to accompany you on that flight.

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Coat

Harmonics

If everybody's at it they're probably just worried about setting up a (an?) harmonic that would pop the plane's rivets while you, er, pop your rivet.

<ding dong> Captain speaking, please would cabin three break rhythm?

Coat and parachute, please

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Silver badge

RE: Who's the first

> ....to suggest they call it Virgin Airlines

You? :o)

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Stupid prejudice from Anton

"French design at its best

By Anton Ivanov

Posted Thursday 1st November 2007 11:52 GMT

Double bed, personal cabin and no noise proofing...

Somehow I do not think we would ever see that being shipped by Boeing..."

One must be pretty stupid, like in "watching-fox-propaganda-on-surrendering-monkeys-stupid", to utter such crap.

First point is, obviously Boeing was actually not able to deliver a plane that could support suites, so they would in any case be unable to do the mistake.

Second, A380 is not french but franco-germano-something, just like Airbus is far from being simply a french company (and I might even add thanks for that fact as it would not be so successful if french only). I guess it makes it easier for you to live with your prejudice though, so go ahead (until the time you realize Airbus is actually a great company, that day it will at the very least become suddenly at the very least german in your mind, or even american somehow).

Third is, Airbus has actually not much to do with noise-proofing the A380, for the very simple reason that each airline asks of outside companies the equipment to fill the plane (for instance Zodiac is contracted by the airlines themselves to do the seats for the vast majority of planes).

As a consequence, whether perfect or completely crappy, the actual way the suites are handled has nothing to do with Airbus, much less with the french.

Please turn Fox News on again instead of posting, it will people a service.

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Thumb Up

Double beds on aircraft

When's the dinning room coming?

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Paris Hilton

At last

a story with a Paris angle

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Go

Health & Safety strikes again

Actually, the cabin crew have a legal duty to look in on their passengers at intervals throughout the flight. So the cabins have an observation window.

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Stop

Thing is

the 'private' cabin is nothing of the sort. The walls only come up to shoulder height so anyone walking past can see what you're up to.

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Boffin

Turbulence

Maybe the airline are trying to be kind to other passengers. I mean, the way some people carry on in the bedroom (allegedly...) it is quite possible that the aircraft could suffer turbulence whilst they are earning their blue peter badge....

A

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Did I miss it?

Okay, I was speed-reading so somebody tell me where - in this story - at says that Singapore Airlines asked people to not have sex.

I saw where it said that they'd like people to refrain from indulging in behavior likely to embarass.

Were I to read that, I'd take it as an okay to have sex but to not involve the dog, not scream (repeatedly), "Yes! Yes! Take me now you horned god!" and not enjoy my pre-sex warm up of doing naked press-ups in the corridor outside my cabin.

Not that I would ever do any of those anyway.

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@soundproofing

Quite a gaping hole in the specification, I can't imagine the designers of the SAL cabin thought that one through too well. If I were them I'd try and get the spec changed for the aircraft that are currently being built. It's not something they're going to stop now, is it?

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Dom

Only 2 doubles, actually.

As a plane nerd, I can tell you that there are 12 *single* suites on the SA A380s, four on each side and four in the middle. The pairs in the middle can have the dividing partition removed to form a double. So there's only two double "cabins" on board.

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Getting membership...

...in the mile high club is quite hard unfortunately...but do private jets count? No longer so expensive to hire one ;-)

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Bob
Gates Halo

@Greg

"One must be pretty stupid..."

"Second, A380 is not french but franco-germano-something..."

WOW, you really know how to make your point about stupid people...do some RESEARCH before you post!!

But then again your probably French

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@Bob

"But then again your probably French"

His probably French ... what?

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No sex please ...

... Its British.

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Alert

Vive La France!

Whats with the yankee hatred of the french!?

if it wasnt for the french backing those colonial terrrorist in the 1770's for thier own imperialistic aim of undermining the British Empire Mad King Georges Hanovarian (thatsGerman to you americans) troops and the Britisih Red Coats would have whipped you back into line, but no the French intervend and helped you out!

it then gave you that oversized rusty green doll to put in new york harbour!

and ironically, following independance and the break from the commonwealth you all nearly ended up speaking proper german (opposed to erstaz german spoken by the English) luckily for you you voted to keep the English

i think you should read

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Franco-American_relations

and as for planes,

you americans have been sulking ever since the brits and french developed concorde and now your sulking over the A380!

and to think that both the cheese eating surrender monkees and the

loud mouth all trousers no action yankees

both signed the the Kellogg-Briand Pact outlawing war??????? who would have thought that

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re: Stupid prejudice from Anton

Strange -- I read Anton's comments as being rather flattering regarding French and their love of love-making. I thought it was the Septics and their prudish nature he was having a dig at.

Perhaps you have a chip on your shoulder? Or should that be a pomme-fritte?

For the record, I'm a stiff-upper-lipped, sexually-repressed Rosbif.

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Anonymous Coward

Title

Your first screwing will be at the ticket office!

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Anonymous Coward

Title

How would they know ...Unless you appear in the morning with your face looking like a glazed doughnut!

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