Jordan mulls mamtastic epitaph
Those among you who are still wondering with a kind of shocked disbelief why oh why oh why didn't talented chanteuese and Bulgarian airbag scaffold Jordan feature on the list of top Brits wits need look no further than today's Sun for enlightenment. While the late Spike Milligan was honoured for, among other classics, his …
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How about...
"Thanks for the mammaries?"
Mines the burberry, taxi's on it's way.
How about...
"Jordan is dead,
But please don't be blue.
Though she's six foot below
Her nipples poke through."
Or, simply, "It's all gone hugely tits-up."
Is this "woman" for real
Seriously, she is so absolutely moronically stupid she should be shot just to prevent any further incursions into the future gene pool.
For a start, her tits are fake, and completely shit!
PS. Where's the paris hilton angle?
Multi-talented
She exceeded her limitations and improved her only talents.
Jordan has her good points
I like Jordan... She has her good points ;-)
burial mounds
that woman's knockers will be around long after she, and indeed the rest of us, have shuffled off.
Or how about
"The Worlds greatest mum", she did win mum of the year didn't she? Although how she did when her oldest son ran into a mirror whilst unattended kind of beggars belief.
A few possibilities
She sleeps alone at last
Here lies the body of Katie Price; While she may rot; Her assets will not
Fame she had a plenty; Although her mind was empty; Here she turns; Amidst the worms; Appalled she's now a non-entity.
And finally ,
Where have all the cameras gone?
Mountains out of molehills
Short and sweet is best, so:
"Here lies Jordan, who finally went tits up"
how about....
...titillating conversationalist.
can we vote for peter andre's epitaph to be "he was a perfect tit"
Re: Don't bother with "Breast in Peace" - the Sun has beaten you to that one.
They didn't run with "In loving Mammary"?
Thanks for the Mammaries?
Silicon but not forgotten?
The girl DOES have wit
By the time she reaches her 60's, her first suggestion "She had perfect tits" will be supprisingly accurate.
However the epitaph, "90% biodegradable" also springs to mind
An epitaph for when Jordon is 6 foot under
"My final implant."
Depending on how deep she's buried....
They might be wise to put "Mind the step" on there.
Epitath? Epiteth? Epitit?
"Here lies Katie 'Jordan' Price, who went titsup on..."
"At rest, after a bumpy ride."
"She was a titbit."
"Here be flagons."
Surely it would be better to be honest?
She was useless in life, at least now shes feeding the worms.
I hate to double-post, but....
"A dirty weekend in Jordan was cheaper than one night in Paris".
How about....
"Don't cry for me. I've always been happiest on my back"
new name for princess
why not call the daughter Tiaamii Suu?
How about...
Inflated in Life,
Inflated Chest,
Inflated Ego,
All deflated in Death.
Moron
Or maybe Annoying. Either or which I think are wholly suitable...I can think of others but I doubt they'd get published.
COSHH & Silicone Oil...
I’m no expert (I’m sure that there is someone out there that will put me right) but is there a COSHH problem with putting that amount of silicone in the ground ?
Environmental Precautions:
Do not allow to enter drains or water
courses.
Methods of spill cleaning:
Wipe, scrape or soak up in an inert
material and put in container for disposal.
Wash walking surfaces with a detergent
and water to reduce slipping hazard.
suggestions
On the Spike Milligan theme, how about "Clearly, I was mentally ill" ?
or
Don't stand there - you'll burst them!
CCTV in action - nork-lifters will be prosecuted
Question: will she be going for the Y-shaped coffin at all ? Or perhaps a little creative corpse arrangement could negate the need for a vase at said site ? Take the Billy Connolly route and give visitors somewhere to park their bike ?
A towering intellect of a woman...
Sadly for her it will be posterity that recognises her genius, thereby denying her the adulation she so craves.
'Twas ever thus for minds of her stature.
Gravestones
No epitaph, but I heard she has commissioned the artist who designed these to make her gravestone:
www.skateparkoftampa.com/spot/images/btb7tits.jpg
How about...
Thanks for the mammaries
Not dead, chest sleeping
Crossed over to the udder side
Excuse my bust
Here Lies Katie "Jordan" Price
I couldn't dance
I couldn't sing
I couldn't act.
I couldn't write
But my tits will still be here long after you're dead.
Or maybe
Born May 1978
Implanted 199X
Died XXX XXXX
She came, she implanted, She posed, She gave birth, She married famous people and still nobody gave a flying f*ck when she died
She might get poetic!
I was just a little girl,
when I asked my mother "What will I be?"
"Will I be famous", "Will I be rich"
Here's what she said to me..
"No you f*cking won't, you'll be a annoying waste of time, taking up precious air, flaunting your plastic boobs at celebrities and pretending to be important to gossip rags in a vain attempt to prove that you're somebody special."
I proved her wrong didn't I?
hmm, I'm getting a bit vindictive here aren't I?
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