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Jordan mulls mamtastic epitaph

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Matt Zywina

Obvious, really 

Happy

Thanks for the mammaries.

Colin Jackson

How about... 

Coat

"Thanks for the mammaries?"

Mines the burberry, taxi's on it's way.

Bez

How about... 

"Jordan is dead,

But please don't be blue.

Though she's six foot below

Her nipples poke through."

Or, simply, "It's all gone hugely tits-up."

Les Matthew

Here I lie 

when it all goes tits up.

Anonymous Coward

here's one... 

Joke

"Thick as F**k."

Anonymous Coward

IT Angle? 

IT Angle

Well?

Karl Lattimer

Is this "woman" for real 

Paris Hilton

Seriously, she is so absolutely moronically stupid she should be shot just to prevent any further incursions into the future gene pool.

For a start, her tits are fake, and completely shit!

PS. Where's the paris hilton angle?

Anonymous Coward

Multi-talented 

She exceeded her limitations and improved her only talents.

Stuart Gray

In honour of El Reg 

I've gone titsup

Dave Alderson

Jordan has her good points 

I like Jordan... She has her good points ;-)

Dan

burial mounds 

that woman's knockers will be around long after she, and indeed the rest of us, have shuffled off.

Lloyd

Or how about 

IT Angle

"The Worlds greatest mum", she did win mum of the year didn't she? Although how she did when her oldest son ran into a mirror whilst unattended kind of beggars belief.

Anonymous Coward

A few possibilities 

Paris Hilton

She sleeps alone at last

Here lies the body of Katie Price; While she may rot; Her assets will not

Fame she had a plenty; Although her mind was empty; Here she turns; Amidst the worms; Appalled she's now a non-entity.

And finally ,

Where have all the cameras gone?

Anonymous Coward

Mountains out of molehills 

Short and sweet is best, so:

"Here lies Jordan, who finally went tits up"

Dave

how about.... 

Paris Hilton

...titillating conversationalist.

can we vote for peter andre's epitaph to be "he was a perfect tit"

Rusty Warrior

Errrrr 

Coat

Thanks for the mamaries?

Harvey Trowell

Re: Don't bother with "Breast in Peace" - the Sun has beaten you to that one. 

Coat

They didn't run with "In loving Mammary"?

Thanks for the Mammaries?

Silicon but not forgotten?

Rusty Warrior

errrrrr 2 

Coat

Sphere we go?

Peter Kay

Perhaps some Nena 

99 Red Balloons, anyone?

Anonymous Coward

The girl DOES have wit 

Coat

By the time she reaches her 60's, her first suggestion "She had perfect tits" will be supprisingly accurate.

However the epitaph, "90% biodegradable" also springs to mind

Dogbyte

Hmmm... 

Coat

Thanks for the mammaries

Chris Moss

An epitaph for when Jordon is 6 foot under 

"My final implant."

Anonymous Coward

Umm 

Go

Thanks for the mammaries ?

Si Donbavand

Jordan's Epitaph 

"She married a tit"

Ian

Depending on how deep she's buried.... 

Coat

They might be wise to put "Mind the step" on there.

Karl

Epitath? Epiteth? Epitit? 

Coat

"Here lies Katie 'Jordan' Price, who went titsup on..."

"At rest, after a bumpy ride."

"She was a titbit."

"Here be flagons."

Anonymous Coward

Something appropriate... 

Paris Hilton

"A damning indictment of the demise of Western Civilization".

The great thing is that it can be reused on Paris, Britney, Pete Doherty, and any number of waste-of-space, brain-dead, gene-pool-contminating "pop-icons"... and their producers/managers/marketers that keep shovelling them around.

TeeCee

How about.... 

Coat

"Her boobs and cock-ups were legendary".

Tom Watson

epitath 

I came, I saw, but I never really understood.

Rich Whittaker

Surely it would be better to be honest? 

Thumb Down

She was useless in life, at least now shes feeding the worms.

Jimmy Fizz

epitaph 

Loving mother, devoted wife, massive tits.

TeeCee

I hate to double-post, but.... 

Paris Hilton

"A dirty weekend in Jordan was cheaper than one night in Paris".

Brian

How about.... 

"Don't cry for me. I've always been happiest on my back"

michael

new name for princess 

Happy

why not call the daughter Tiaamii Suu?

Dogbyte

Or maybe... 

Simply the breast

Kenny Millar

How about... 

Thumb Up

Inflated in Life,

Inflated Chest,

Inflated Ego,

All deflated in Death.

Mata

How about... 

'Not the river.'

Sy

Moron 

Thumb Down

Or maybe Annoying. Either or which I think are wholly suitable...I can think of others but I doubt they'd get published.

Anonymous Coward

COSHH & Silicone Oil... 

I’m no expert (I’m sure that there is someone out there that will put me right) but is there a COSHH problem with putting that amount of silicone in the ground ?

Environmental Precautions:

Do not allow to enter drains or water

courses.

Methods of spill cleaning:

Wipe, scrape or soak up in an inert

material and put in container for disposal.

Wash walking surfaces with a detergent

and water to reduce slipping hazard.

Andrew Wood

Epitaph 

Happy

( o Y o )

lansalot

suggestions 

Coat

On the Spike Milligan theme, how about "Clearly, I was mentally ill" ?

or

Don't stand there - you'll burst them!

CCTV in action - nork-lifters will be prosecuted

Question: will she be going for the Y-shaped coffin at all ? Or perhaps a little creative corpse arrangement could negate the need for a vase at said site ? Take the Billy Connolly route and give visitors somewhere to park their bike ?

supermeerkat

A towering intellect of a woman... 

Thumb Up

Sadly for her it will be posterity that recognises her genius, thereby denying her the adulation she so craves.

'Twas ever thus for minds of her stature.

SoupDragon

Gravestones 

No epitaph, but I heard she has commissioned the artist who designed these to make her gravestone:

www.skateparkoftampa.com/spot/images/btb7tits.jpg

Chris

How about... 

Coat

Thanks for the mammaries

Not dead, chest sleeping

Crossed over to the udder side

Excuse my bust

Anonymous Coward

A Suggestion 

How about 'I finally went titsup.'?

Ben

in Mammory of Jordon 

And the Cloakroom is where sorry?

Matthew

I think this time, I must insist 

Flame

No Photographs!

Lyndon Barry

Here Lies Katie "Jordan" Price 

I couldn't dance

I couldn't sing

I couldn't act.

I couldn't write

But my tits will still be here long after you're dead.

Or maybe

Born May 1978

Implanted 199X

Died XXX XXXX

She came, she implanted, She posed, She gave birth, She married famous people and still nobody gave a flying f*ck when she died

Andy G

kinda obvious but... 

Coat

... tits up ??

:o)

/coat lol

Lyndon Barry

She might get poetic! 

Happy

I was just a little girl,

when I asked my mother "What will I be?"

"Will I be famous", "Will I be rich"

Here's what she said to me..

"No you f*cking won't, you'll be a annoying waste of time, taking up precious air, flaunting your plastic boobs at celebrities and pretending to be important to gossip rags in a vain attempt to prove that you're somebody special."

I proved her wrong didn't I?

hmm, I'm getting a bit vindictive here aren't I?

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