... is to get revenge on the person who owes you money. Won't pay? No problem I'll just blacklist you with the opposite sex.

So, you go on a blind date, get on really well, and as the reg says, you're not going to post a glowing report to attract competitors.

On the other hand, you go on a blind date, don't get on at all, and you are likely to post a crappy report about them.

So where, how, when & why would anyone ever post a good report about someone? -unless it's more about serial dating, or swinging or something, maybe i'm missing something and that's why i'm single...

I love that idea of revenge on people who owe you, Mycho.

I can picture a price list and associated comments:

Amount owed: £10

Comment: Tipped badly, coughed without covering his mouth at dinner.

Amount owed: £100

Comment: Rude, arrogant, and obnoxious. Made racist comments over lunch. Asked if I liked it doggy style.

... there's a bunch of lawyers greedily rubbing their hands together at this very moment, ready to make money from the thousands of defamation lawsuits sure to follow...

I'll get another mobile, register with that and send glowing reports about myself on my main number. "Hands off, he's mine!".

Ben: That's what I was, huh? I was your guinea pig, somebody you can test your theories on.

Andie: And I was just a girl somebody picked out in a bar

Ben: Yeah, so what, big deal? Hell, now you can even use it as a little twist in your story

Andie: That's a good idea, maybe we should bet on it

Ben: You know what, you did your job now Andie

Andie: Yes I did

Ben: You wanted to lose a guy in 10 days, congratulations you did it. You just lost him

Andie: No I didn't Ben, cause you can't lose something you never had!

huh? I always ask if they like it doggy style on the 1st date. You need to know these things early on!

You have to do it doggy style if they are throwing up. I'm just saying is all.

coat not needed

That gets the 'sort-tea-out-my-nose' award.

I've dated many women that I wish someone had warned me about beforehand.

One girl I met online and invited to a social event.

She turned up late wearing a dress about four sizes too small for her, drank a 20-quid bottle of wine in a minute flat and popped a handful of pills in the limo en-route to the venue.

On arrival she slipped and fell on all fours in front of the other guests while entering the building and her shouting 'anyone want a quick-one while I'm down here' did nothing to ease their disapproval.

Once inside she talked through all the speeches, danced and sang wildly during the musical interludes, berated all the other guests for being 'as much fun as a kick in the slipper', swore, smoked, drank from a hip-flask, propositioned three of my male relatives, threw-up over my aunt Lucy and ended the event by punching the host for 'looking at me funny and wearing a poofy dress, like'.

All in all she was responsible for the worst experience I've ever had at a family funeral.