Can they just put her in there now?

an article that provides us ,the public, a real glimpse of the deep and soul-filled woman that many have written off as a "Blonde vacuous bimbo whose only claim to fame lies in a green and black sex vid".

Paris you have been vindicated!

/Sarcasm off

.. i bet her mucky endevours video will still be around long after she's thawed and decayed.

as Homer would say.. Hmmmmm Prehistoric Porn

ROFL.

/coat :o)

I was torn between choice of icons... this one magically contains Paris Hilton, and IT.

What if the dogs defrost first and are a bit hungry.....

DOH, there it is!

We almost thought the Reg had stoped posting Paris Hilton stories :(

Long live Paris Hilton!

"I love having everything documented. It shows people what everyday life is like for me, how hard I work."

Aye, we've seen your documentaries, love - they certainly do show how hard you work.

I'm with Ian S, stick her in the freezer now.

If she's lucky, the world will turn out like it does in Idiocracy and she'll be crowned President when she thaws out for being the brainiest person in the world.

"Almost all the cells in the body are still alive when death is pronounced. And if you're immediately cooled, you can be perfectly preserved."

Well done love, you've said it right there that you'll already be dead when they chuck you in the freezer. How do you plan to extend your life by thousands of years when that life will already have ended?

If all it took to cure death was cold temperatures, Siberia would be zombie central.

they will unearth Paris Hilton and say "See, back in prehistoric times, when important dogs died, they used to bury human slaves with them! Why are they frozen? That's the neat thing - it was to keep the meat fresh for the dog masters in the afterlife!"

I'm now imagining some kind of sci-fi horror scenario in which future men unwittingly uncover the frozen Hilton heiress, only to be picked-off one-by-one/driven insane by the prehistoric monster...

with it's silver togas and food pills and flying cars will embrace the simple joy of thawed-out Paris, as we have in this epoch.

What war-ravaged, post-apocalyptic future society of mute humans and intelligent ape overlords will make of her is another matter. I'm sure Paris won't notice the difference.

so there's where my spunk goes to be frozen!

Surely that's where she sleeps at night? That bint leaves me cold anyhow.

So does that mean she'll have a soul full of hope instead of a hole full....

/coat

Two mayor El Reg storylines:

- PH

- ROTM (btw there is still no ROTM icon...)

In a (hopefully very distant) future, the heiress will be thawed, revived and shown to newly built machines with the words: "See kids. That is why our ancestors had no choice but to assume control and wipe out the rest of them."

Another thought: When she is frozen inside a machine, that then controls her body, will said body be relieved, not to have to do the thinking anymore?

It seems some of the stories have annoyed the Cryonics institute:

http://www.cryonics.org/whatsnew.html

While you're there be sure to check out

"On The Determination Of Cracking Limits In Cryopreserved Cat Brains"

http://www.cryonics.org/cathead1.html

"I love having everything documented. It shows people what everyday life is like for me"

I think she's labouring under the misapprehension that people care...

I wonder if when she wakes up in the year 3000, the 'career chip' she has implanted (by a purple-haired cyclops, naturally) will be for 'porn-star bimbo'?

Invoke(Rule8)

It's the only thing that explains why she's changing her name to Paris HiltonStein

I wonder if when it happens we'll get to see her box (again)!

Perhaps Stallone should be frozen as well, in case the future people can't cope with a thawed out Paris...

Not the freezing part, but if it works the poor dogs may have to put up with her for several lifetimes!

Paris Hilton is brain dead already.

She was indeed brought back to life in a thousand years (assuming various crazy nations round the world haven't bombed everyone - not looking at anyone in particular...) and she was 100% conscious but utterly paralysed. And in enormous pain. And completely unable to communicate it...

Or is that just too harsh to be poetic... ?

Not sure what she means by that, only conceptions I have of her are a blonde with nice tits that's easy to get in bed and you can film it as well.

What more do you want from her?

/sick, gutter mind

Do you think once she's frozen they could maybe turn her into an attraction/ride (bearing in mind what I said previously and as long as they freeze her yesterday). Would be no different to the warm version as you don't expect a meanful conversation anyway.

/end sick, gutter mind

What a great way to bring all those eradicated STDs to the future! This is such a bad idea... wait, no, at the rate we're going now, we're gonna deserve it then!

I'll quote A. Lewis here,

Invoke(Rule8);

do bodily fluids count as a "mark upon the world"?

in the US, many people (well, "persons", in the legal sense - i don't really consider that crowd evolved or sophisticated) certainly consider Mr. Clinton's secretion quite relevant, even today.

if so, then surely she has left quite a number of marks already...

In 100,000 years time, and there'll still be no cure for being you.. And who'd be crazy enough to thaw you out anyhow? They're just doing this to get their mits on daddie's money.. Spend it on making more porn movies instead.. That way you can make your mark on the world by fillng up the landfill sites!

IT Angle?

Than debugging a poorly documented language with no prior experience is the El Reg readers on the subject of one Miss P. Hilton.

Really you should all be ashamed of yourselves.

I bet she's more particular than the media makes her out to be.

She could offer the World so much more in the future than she can now, let's hope she's the last human being to be woken up otherwise they'll never do the procedure again. As an example of Humanity in the 21st Century, she accurately portrays societies lust in gossip, fame and vacuous beauty.

Perhaps if she does do something wonderful for the rest of her natural life (I mean this one) she'll be forgiven for past errors of judgement....

Nah - El Reg readers are too cruel to ever let that happen.

Don't fall for the disinformation...

The movie WAS made in 1960, but the cost of the time machine (you didn't think it was a prop did you?) almost forced George Pal into bankrupcy. Desperate times call for desperate measures, so late one night he sneaked on to the set, travelled back to 1890 and published a book of the same name under the pseudonym H.G. Wells.

Not only was he able to rely on his royalties to fund the movie, but he cut an excellent deal on adapting his screenplay for 'War of the Worlds' into novel form (although purists complain the book lost something by being recast in Victorian England).

Spoiler Alert...

Shurely the spitroast scene is in the second movie

OK, so it's more of a _skidmark_ on the world...

"There are a lot of misconceptions about me."

Starting with her parents, who misconceived her about nine months before she was even born...

250 litres of liquid nitrogen at work if the vacuous bint wants a trial run at turning into an ice pop.

It looks like Ms. Paris (aka Bangkok) Hilton is up to her old tricks again... Stroking a subject just to gain a little fame and publicity...

/apply Rule 8

have coat... need taxi... TAXI!!!

I'm surprised that there are so many negative comments about the celebutante. Like, is that because the damned papparazzi keep on selling those stupid pictures to the newsmedia for big $$$ and the newsmedia have to recoup their expenses by endlessly subjecting their viewers to hour upon hour of her antics?

Or is it just that so many of those commenters are jealous and wish they had her money and fame (or infamy)???

Probably a lot of both. Like going to the zoo to watch the chimps fling poo at the visitors. But then I'm no expert because I change the channel whenever the crap comes on the TV, and I don't watch or read those yellow journalism progs or articles. I have better things to do.

Then WTF am I writing this inane comment? Oh, well...

BTW, which of those icons is the "point to ponder" one?? I'll try this one...

... Perhaps they'll send in a fat bastard to steal Paris's Mojo to be consumed by Dr Evil.

Wait a minute, isn't Britney bald? And slightly crazy. And no longer in contact with her son. And looking at her, I bet she has a secret underground lair.... Arrggghhh, Britters is Dr Evil.