You're a Luddite.
So am I - now, more than ever, I'm firmly of the belief that so-called convergent technology is horribly overrated. I don't want something that does Bluetooth, GPRS, EDGE, XYZ, DOA etc. and makes tea, I want something that can make calls and send occasional SMS. No more, no less.
Hell, if one of the networks offered one of these on, say, a 15 or 20 quid per month contract I'd take their hands off, even if the network in question were someone as hopeless as Vodafone or Orange (but not O2 ... let's not go there). The Motorola F3 would have been a contender were it not for the truly horrific usability (tried one, hated it)
However, given the network's obsession with flogging bling to the trash generation, I think the chance of either of these handsets becoming readily available in the UK is somewhere on the far side of nil.
Now please, someone go and prove me wrong, 'cos I want one :-) (not bothered which, although I doubt the FM radio'd version will do long-wave!)