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back to article Hugo Chavez rails against teen Bulgarian airbags

Hugo Chavez has slammed Venezuelans' growing penchant for celebrating their daughters' coming-of-age by stumping up for breast implants, Reuters reports. The prez's countrymen/women have apparently developed quite a taste for western-style consumerism, and in particular coughing thousands of dollars for Bulgarian airbags which …

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So seriously...

I'm uninformed about Chavez's normal operations. I'm assuming he's making occasional trips to his local town square to leave his unneeded goods like refrigerators and whatnot, right?

Right?

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Lester, that was poor

Fair enough, Chavez is well-known for his anti-US stance (who can blame him?), but to make the bridge between the breast implant story and your idea of his 'list of Yankee imperialist outrages' is pure fiction. The original Reuters didn't make this claim, why did you?

It's pretty good fun to join in the media bashing of Chavez and others in South America (gosh gee those latin american banana republics... aren't they just crazy?), but is it simply because you're swayed by the US foreign policy machine, or do you have opinions of your own?

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Anonymous Coward

he's right

Admit it the crazy buggers right, fifteen is too young for breast implants if thats what they are doing then they need their heads examined.

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OMG

I'm agreeing with the power mad megalomaniac! Of course, I just kind of feel like "augmentation" is a little extreme. Now, having been through the whole breast cancer issue in our house, I know some women who have done it, but they all started out with nothing.

Otherwise, ick. And 15? Double ick.

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Silver badge

Quinceañeras

Hm... not exactly "coming-of-age", it is some kind of weird Latin American tradition I haven't been able to pin, but the "Quinceañera" tradition (15 years, that is) is widespread everywhere. And yeah, 15 is too young for implants. I had never heard of something like that. Ow.

I'd support banning implants under 18, that isn't old enough ... they are still developing their boobies! Wouldn't implants actually interfere with this process??

Hm... and Lester seems to have seen "Bananas" recently ;)

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They are not done growing yet at 15!

Even when done on an adult woman implants usually end up looking ugly. Now, at 15 the breast is still growing and the result is totally unpredictible, exept that it is going to be even uglier than with adults.

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Anonymous Coward

Ban teen cosmetic butchery? That's socialism for you...

> Lester, that was poor [...] is it simply because you're

> swayed by the US foreign policy machine, or do you

> have opinions of your own?

Those wise to Lester Haines' financial aspirations would

note that the former dictates the latter...

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Every country gets the government it deserves

Less of the Chavez bashing please - it makes the Reg sound like a teenage yank (opinionated and misinformed). He's spot-on with this policy and making a lot of sense. At least these lucky bastards get charismatic willful politicians with a vision and interest in their own country that extends beyond feathering their nests as best they can during their term in government. You can giggle like an adolescent at the subject matter, but 15 year olds having intrusive and unnecessary surgery to replace their working jubblies with plastic is bonkers.

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Anti-US?

Seems more like commen sence. Like alot of things he dose. there may well be things he has done wrong, but as far as I can tell Chavez is accualy quight a good leader.

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Anonymous Coward

he's often right

But that won't stop the god fearing yankie warmongers will it now ; )

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Hmm... Am I being dense here?

So what is wrong with what Chavez is saying here? Fifteen _is_ too young for breast implants. Local mores aside, it's a bit wrong to be sexualising a child, which is what this amounts to. I have teenage children, and I know that they're always keen to explore that whole field of human interaction*, but that doesn't mean they should be inflated into pneumatic centrefolds as soon as they've outgrown their training bra.

As to the fans and fridges thing... How exactly does that differ from such worthy 'western' efforts as freecycle.org? It's a sensible suggestion, in fact, and could only be improved with a little more organisation lest every local town square be buried under piles of defunct white goods...

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Bronze badge

He is right on this at least

If you're going to get breast implants at least wait until they've stopped growing.

Assuming you want to have things implanted into your chest that make strange noises when you turn over in the night that is.

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As a funbag man myself....

Yup, 15 is too young. Chavez hits the nail on the head with this one. Maybe they should ban US TV? I'm assuming the nation is glued to reruns of baywatch?

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Anonymous Coward

Let the Restoration begin...

..Mmmhh....

No dictatorship of this world would go against breast implants or botox: too risky.

Are we witnessing the first 21st century restoration?

Scary.

GaB

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Silver badge

Yes, I agree

In this case Chavez is perfectly right, cosmetic surgery is a risk to the women's health, as well as a needless waste of money (in most cases, let us exclude damage repair here).

On the other hand, changing the time zone is an utterly pointless exercise!

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What's the problem with his reasonable comment?

15 *is* too young - regardless of whether you think breast implants are good or bad, it's generally a good idea to leave it until the woman has stopped growing - i.e. early twenties.

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Anonymous Coward

Really ? They're doing that ?

In Venezuela ? Hmm. Going to have to change my holiday plans then.

;-)

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Western Influences

Arent they talking of northern influences? The pacific lies to the west of venezuela... The term needs to be rethought...

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Not Baywatch

Considering Chavez is on a spree closing down all media outlets his government doesn't control on a day to day basis I seriously doubt the country's watching Baywatch.

And of course 15 is too young for sugartits - that's an easy one for him to ballyhoo about.

And if Chavez really has the balls to piss off Uncle Sam and wants to pick up the Venezuelan economy he should legalize cocaine or at least cocoa production. The U.S. is to busy taking a pounding in the Middle East to bother much about it.

It's all in the timing Hugo.

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Western-style consumerism?

No ma'am, I ain't never gonna be happy till I gots me the latest stetson and boots, a years' supply of sippin' whiskey, some solid gold shootin' irons and the fastest hoss money can buy.

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Compare and contrast

Bush - I KEEL YOU ALL!

Chavez - Funbag repair not required at 15 years of age

Who's more of a loon?

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Dictators

One thing I do like about these would-be dictators is that they exercise their freedom to go on telly and lambaste their subjects when they're being idiots, as is the case here.

Anyone who might even *suggest* to their 15 year old daughter that she needs larger breasts isn't a very good human being.

</judgement>

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Chavez a dictator???

Isnt he dedicated democratic socialist?

Many Venez' ppl see him as the saviour of the country. He is no idiot.

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Chavez a dictator???

Isnt he dedicated democratic socialist?

Many Venez' ppl see him as the saviour of the country. He is no idiot.

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Anonymous Coward

The “degradation” is worse than the medical problem

Breast implants shout that woman’s raison d’etre is to satisfy man's lust. I’m not a fan of Chaves, but I agree with him in this case: breast implants degrade women. The next time you enjoy looking at a pair (fake or real) and ignore the person behind them, think about how well you’d like your mother, sister, or wife reduced to an pleasure object of (maybe) only slightly more value than a Rolex or a sports car. Think about the fat, hairy pig of a man in the last porn flick you saw, and imagine him grunting away on top of your wife, mother, or 15 year old. That is what we endorse when we reduce woman to object. Breast implants are a betrayal of woman and of what is best in men.

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J

Even...?

"urging them to leave out in town squares items such as fans or refrigerators"

Even if the refrigerator has been lurking menacingly in the corner, unopened for who knows how long? That can obviously have unforeseen consequences of cosmic proportions.

"should legalize cocaine or at least cocoa production"

Cocoa production? Gee, and I thought my chocolate was all legal and fine. Gotta be careful nowadays.

"Seems more like commen[sic] sence[sic]. Like alot[sic] of things he dose[sic]. there may well be things he has done wrong, but as far as I can tell Chavez is accualy[sic] quight[sic!!!] a good leader."

Hmmm, have any of you guys considered the remote possibility that Lester was, as usual, making fun with the "anti-US" part? And man, please, get a spell/grammar checker...

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A simple test

As a public service, I've decided to enlighten the public as to what constitutes a "bad" dictator in contradistinction to a "good" one.

A "bad" dictator has oil and goes his own way, whereas a "good" dictator has oil and plays ball. There are a few slight variations in which the commodity oil can be substituted by "enough hydroelectric power to make deuterium oxide" or perhaps "a canal conveniently located in what used to be Colombia".

It is appropriate to note in passing the mysterious interconvertibility of "bad" and "good" dictators. Consider Saddam and Khadaffy: the former went from "good" to "bad" while the latter is somewhere between the penalty box and "good" after years of having been very bad. Because of this mutability, it is essential to watch the news on a regular basis to remain au courant with the authoritative classification of these fickle despots.

It is also appropriate to note that not only dictators, but entire countries can unreasonably insist on control of their natural resources and destiny, as well as the right to wear flowing robes and clothe their demands in the rhetoric of religious intolerance. Luckily, we in the West are never misled by this posturing, familiar as we are with our own history of inchoate longings for self-determination that took the form of "patriotic heresies" and regional religious wars before the concepts of "nation state" and "national sovereignty" displaced religion as more honest excuses for mutual slaughter. Had we not experienced this phenomenon in our own history, any charlatan or demagogue could easily inflame popular sentiment and magnify a simple resource grab into a Clash of Cultures in which the Future of Humanity Hangs in the Balance, misleading many and purchasing damnation for him/herself in the process.

Fortunately, we live in more enlightened times now and our Democracy is safeguarded by an informed public that would never lower itself to following any such vipers even if they had insinuated themselves into the very Bosom of the Republic.

I remain,

Yours truly & cet.,

A Proud American

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@"The “degradation” is worse than the medical problem"

"Think about the fat, hairy pig of a man in the last porn flick you saw, and imagine him grunting away on top of your wife, mother, or 15 year old."

Hell, that WAS the last pr0n flick I saw!

(am I going to hell yet?)

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im thinking

that the making fun of chavez wasnt because he was against breast implants, but because he blames america for it. to be against something is one thing, but to blame everything you dont like on america makes you look stupid, if popular.

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Anonymous Coward

Oh sure...

Communism & Socialism killed hundreds of millions of people over the years and now they want to ban funbags?

Those bastards!

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Dead Vulture

US-bashing ahoy!

I thought that bashing the US was a good thing these days... or is there some other US? I thought we were walking about the US that has recently killed 1 million Iraqis, still believes God created the world 6000 years ago, consumes 1/4 of the world's resources, cuts aid to African medical organisations that carry information about abortion and that is currently researching new nuclear and chemical weapons (the US doesn't let the UN weapons inspectors onto its research facilities).

I could go on, but I wouldn't want to be accused of listing facts (sorry, I mean 'anti-Amercian sentiment').

In fairness, a great many Americans are rational, sensible, caring people... its just that they are apparently banned from the US mainsteam media and so we never get to hear about them.

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