It's hard to get really involved when the battle for cpu supremacy is being fought between Nehalem and Barcelona. Even Opteron sounds like a Transformer. Worse still when breaking news leads are being Twittered at you.
Take a leaf out of the WWFs book, or ask any fighting dogs owner advice and start calling your chips something hard, edgy, streetwise. Maybe "The Overtaker" or "The Decimilisator" or maybe Intel could launch the "Cool for School" range of low heat CPUs. Maybe, just maybe, we can move into chip endorsements - "Hi, I'm Chuck Norris and this is the Chuck Norris CPU from Intel. Who cares what it has or does, I'm Chuck Norris and this is my CPU." The Adidas chip could run faster than any other chip, a supermodel could promote the thinnest chip yet and a supreme chess playing monk could endorse the worlds best fpu. The reality of whose chip may or may not benchmark faster than someone elses just doesn't enter into my purchasing equation after all so why not have some fun with these almost-equally-amazing products.