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back to article Get a passport, enjoy casual sex with foreigners

Middle England is none too pleased with a Home Office campaign aimed at "reminding 'holiday virgins' to apply for their passports in good time to avoid missing out on the fun of a first parent-free holiday". The HO last month launched the initiative, with the Identity and Passport Service's Executive Director for Service …

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Club 18-30 anyone?

Almost like Club 18-30's brilliant yet short lived advertising from some years ago... "Wake up at the crack of Dawn..."

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Your taxes at work

Oh yes. A wonderful image of the British government. Can't provide quality education, can't provide adequate policing, can't provide a healthcare system (or get out of the way and let somebody else provide it) but it CAN get hip and cool and groovy and show da yoof that it likes pictures of t|tt|3s too.

A society gets the government it deserves, n'est pas?

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I don't see what's wrong here

This kind of behaviour will benefit the UK teen pregnancy figures....

.. Might screw the figures up for spain, france and germany as the lads abroad work their way methodically around 'Shagalluf' but on the home front we should be quite safe.

And maybe we'll rule the world again, in a more nefarious and sneaky way this time by spreading our seed over europe.

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Anonymous Coward

@Blackley

If looks more as though the government is trying to create a very specific society with this sort of shallow, sex-orientated, badly spelt bollocks.

Unless of course, they're planning on not letting them back into the country.

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Silver badge

Expert advice ?

"expert advice on how to get the message across to the 16 to 24 age group"

Yeah, I agree that a pair of gazoongas will certainly grab their attention. I doubt that any information accompanying said natural airbags will actually make an impression, though.

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Anonymous Coward

How embarassing

No, not the sexual tone of the posters but the kewl lingo wot some marketing dood writ 2 appeal 2 da yoofs.

It's like watching your dad trying to dance.

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Anonymous Coward

I'm in ur garage

Surely someone at the government has discovered icanhascheezburger.com , which has hilarious pictures of cats with yoof-speak slogans. Perhaps if the government has to publicise cat passports it can simply take some of the cartoons from icanhascheezburger, blow them up, and presto. Problem solved. Horse passports, there's another thing.

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Contrary Position

It's odd but no matter how many young people I meet, even when I was one back in the 90's I never felt the need to belittle them and have the bad misconception that these adults in training are some how too stupid to tie their own shoe laces and too sex crazy to be able to read normal English spellings correctly.

The youth might be experimenting with insanity but it's adults in marketing and government that really pushed the boundaries of what is possible with recreational drug use.

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Silver badge

Poster on the left

Didn't:

'Shame U didn't get UR passport m8

'Been learnin breaststroke wiv the laydeeeez!

'Oiii Oiiii!!!!'

get Home Secretary David Blunkett into all sorts of trouble a while back?

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Anonymous Coward

I should bloody well hope so!

"[The HO's] own figures note that just "three per cent of those surveyed lost their virginity on their first holiday abroad (five per cent of males and two per cent of of females)."

My first holiday abroad was at the age of 6. My chances of 'losing it' to some chavette slapper at that age were, possibly, rather slim.

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How disappointing.

I just got my new passport on Saturday (sent off on Tuesday, so quite impressed with the turn-around) and thought this was a special offer from the Home Office.

Still, I am now intrigued as to what these other two images could be, if they're shocking even for El Reg!

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If we give the people to whom this literacy appeals passports...

Will they PLEASE leave the UK, and stay in whichever loutish, beer infested 'last' resorts they choose to invade?

I have no problem with the idea that you should have a passport to go shag foreigners. The gene pool in this country needs a little diluting before the masses end up displaying perfect speciation. It already seems nu-labr is working hard on ensuring they're have insufficient education to realise that they're being screwed by the Government; offering them the chance to be screwed elsewhere seems oddly appropriate.

How about one for the literati? A nice, bookish study, with a beautifully handcrafted postcard sent from the colonies. "These nubian girls are quite remarkable in their appearance and athleticism".

I suggest a counter-campaign for the countries most likely to be targeted by the British Youth Demographic. "There's a reason the British are coming here to get laid; your country has more attractive people. Why settle for less?"

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Am I an old fuddy duddy?

Do young people really write text messages like that? Jesus, we're in more trouble than I thought....

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Much as I hate to agree with the Daily Mail crowd...

...I think the 'creative' staff of the ad agency should be publicly birched. For the Flash-infested, nausea-inducing Web site, if nothing else.

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Anonymous Coward

A more appropriate campaign would have been ....

The words, "Get a fucking passport, or you're going nowhere' on a plain background and, "better get it soon cos we are all pissing off on holiday next summer"

It might jist be me - but when the govt (or similar) tries to get down with da kidz, the message gets lost.

I know the government are bastards, you know they are bastards. It would be more effective if they just reminded people of this - and how incredibly innefficient they can be once in a while.

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Anonymous Coward

icanhascheezburger .. you are forgetting one thing

it's shit

and the message will only be appreciated by the sort of people who are never ever going to lose their virginity, ever.

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And they want these people to go abroad?

I would have thought this is exactly the group that the government ought not to issue passports to - gives Blighty a bad name - they should bring in an exam that you need to pass before being allowed out of the country. (hang on, maybe they should issue one-way passports, so they can't get back in - there's a better idea).

/Oh dear, not my medication time again?

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Spare a thought

Many people comment that articles on El Reg often have little or no IT angle to them at all.

That may well be the case but the humour in the comments is often first class.

And the thought, where do the many "illegals" go on their holidays?

Can't go abroad so have to make do with Mablethorpe or similar, i suppose.

And a final thought.

What are the odds of getting said passport if one filled in the application by using the same lingo?

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Cold spoon?

Perhaps they could supply a cold spoon with the passport so that any tumescence could be quickly dealt with? Swift whack on the end would soon eliminate any urges and the nation's morality is saved.

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Anonymous Coward

A better reason to leave...

...would be "Labour are seriously fucking up this country with cheap booze and hand-outs, creating a subclass which just wants to breed. If you want to get out, it's going to take 6 weeks".

Still, you'll probably get shot on the way to the airport, or blown up when you get there.

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Anonymous Coward

um, am I missing something...

..how exactly is a passport 'sposed to work as a contraceptive device?!?

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O

The pictures are not the problem

'wiv', 'ur', 'm8', 'geezza', 'frm', 'u', 'learning', 'ladeeeeeez', 'oiii oiiiii', 'gutted'

it makes me feel thoroughly ill.

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Stupid Daily Mail (but also stupid government)

Bit of a poor attempt to "get with the kids" (who cares if they apply too late, their own fault for being unable to read a normal advertisement)

However, the Daily Mail is throwing its arms in the air because they are "not suitable for a family newspaper". Since when were the mags listed, or night club walls, a family newspaper?!

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Just what we need:

... more thick kids with babies they're too inept to bring up properly.

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Not surprised

The campaign is run by a bunch of HO's, after all.

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Anonymous Coward

I was wrong....

And here I thought that you got rid of all of your Puritans by shipping them here ages ago.

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Anonymous Coward

Minimum Age for a passport

And of course, the Government :

a) sought the permission of the "model" used in the adverts?

b) and know for a fact that the topless "models" in question were categorically over the age of 18 ?

yeah thought so.

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Anonymous Coward

No need to worry....

..if this is the standard that the youth of today adhere to. It means the rest of us will keep our jobs longer as employers realise that the "new generation" applying for that technical job are, in fact, a bunch of illiterate wankers who can barely grunt, let alone spell. I have had a job application come across my desk (I wasn't the interviewer, its just the application was so crap it did the rounds at the office) that was full of words like this....I shit you not.

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Bronze badge

Crazy People

You can't tell me the people behind those adverts have never watched the Dudley Moore film "Crazy People", where there's a billboard ad with the slogan "COME IN THE BAHAMAS"

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Its no wonder

Education is in the terrible state it is when the government obviously can't spell, i dont care if kids spell like morons, the government shouldn't be encouraging it.

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Anonymous Coward

I read the Register,

you guys have worse problems than this I think it's a great ad campaign if people who don't do that for a living put it together. If not well I doubt anyone cared to look at it first. This is just a way to keep all those applications from coming in at once why the breast beating moronisms about illiteracy they made those up calm down. To make you all happy maybe they will have gay ones next time.

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Anonymous Coward

What the bl00dy h3ll are u on?

And you Brits couldn't handle a drop-dead gorgeous Aussie model asking "Where the bloody hell are you?". I'm just bloody glad you're not here.

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Anonymous Coward

pot and kettle

The outfit that made the advert has this in their "corporate social responsibility" blurb

--snip

WPP and its operating companies have as their core values honesty, integrity and respect for people. These core values determine the way we approach business and they define the principles in which we expect our people to behave in the conduct of our business.

--snip

they are currently recruiting for summer holiday worker:

http://www.rkcryr.com/summerplacement.htm

Somebody should make a spoof application saying you've been spending your summer shagging around the costa del sol, but unfortunately picked up a case of the clap.

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Anonymous Coward

Oi, thats me bird

That's my bird swimming with that fella in the sea, she said she was going to Scarborough.

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going to hit thier revenue

I'm sure the passport office has missed a trick here. They charge a fortune if you need to get a quick turnaround on a passport application. I'm surprised that they are not just sending a letter back on late applications with...

To guarantee delivery of your passport by the date you have specified a premium charge of £££££ will be required.

The idiots that these ads will appeal to would pay it rather than miss out on their holiday.

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Anonymous Coward

Hey...

I demand we be shown the other ads too (or be given a link to them!)

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Interesting customers!

I went to the agency's site and had a look at their list of customers...

It seems they do a lot or work for Virgin!

{snigger}

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Do I need a new phone?

I can't find 'ladeeeeez' in my predictive text dictionary.

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These adverts are an insult

It's not the pictures of women with their norks out that offends me, and these advertswould not be out of place in the aforementioned publications but the adverts are a bloody insult, especially with those stupid bloody txtspk spellings, do they really think the British public are that terminally dim? Is this the intended result of our fine education system?

The daft thing is they publish adverts like this while on the other hand bleating about binge drinking and high pregnancy rates and STIs! Wouldn't this be the exact thing they'd be encouraging?

As for the model asking where the bloody hell are ya? I was never fooled by that for a minute, I know for a fact the proper Aussie reaction to a British tourist on gap year is "Rack off backpacker!"

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What do you expect...

What do you expect, really, from a government department that can be abbreviated to HO? U gettin' down wi' my ho Biaaaaatch!

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Daily Mail

Daily Mail is a family paper? Please please don't indoctrinate the kids!

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Oh so true!!!

"Labour are seriously fucking up this country with cheap booze and hand-outs, creating a subclass which just wants to breed. If you want to get out, it's going to take 6 weeks".

LOLz! Th4tz 5u/\/\ fu|\||\|33 5h1t!!!

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generic title

The Daily Mail has the nerve to claim it's a family newspaper? Since when?

The infamous "Hurrah For The Blackshirts" front page, may be going back a bit, but they still haven't apologised for their general Fascist loving past. DO NOT FORGET THIS. As such, I would far rather my kids (that I don't have) read some bollocky slightly cringey adverts that are basically on a par with carry on films, than right wing, hate filled bile dressed up as 'news'.

I'm going for a lie down now.

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Anonymous Coward

They're just norks.

Is everyone in denial or something?

Stop being such hypocrites, I think those adverts are spot on - everyone was a sex-obsessed teenager at some stage in their life and the holiday 'sans' parents provides a great opportunity to score.

If the adverts said, "Hey chaps, better get your passport in time, else you might miss out on the rich diverse culture, history and Tapas of the southern Mediterranean!", we would all be taking the piss out of that for completely missing the point.

They chose the right places to display those ads as well; it's not like little Timmy ran into the living room holding a copy of the Beano shouting, "look Daddy, is that why you've got a passport?!"

Provided you're of consenting age, and you're not a complete numbskull who doesn't know what a johnny is, you're going to be alright.

So shut up with your whining, and give the "Oh is that where my taxes are being spent are they?" crap a rest.

Yet, the text speak does piss me right off, it's just not l33t.

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Well...

The text speak adverts annoyed me, but they, and the similar radio ads, get the point across. I bet most kids who need to apply for a sole bearer passport now know they should do it well in advance of travel.

I know I do...

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