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back to article Nepal fixes Boeing 757 with goat sacrifice

Nepal Airlines has apparently fixed an electrical fault on one of its Boeing 757s by sacrificing two goats in appeasement of Hindu sky god Akash Bhairab, Reuters reports. The airline boasts two Boeings, and one was reportedly giving it a certain amount of grief leading to suspension of services over the past few weeks. However …

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Anonymous Coward

well

well more likely to work at fixing planes then London underground "workers" running the tube.

Pehaps if we sacrificed a few animals to the god of signalling all would be fine?

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It's a good thing they weren't sheep.

It's a good thing they weren't sheep. The Welsh would be calling them racists. :P

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Anonymous Coward

Now burst into song!

If it makes you happy,

It can't be that baaaahahaaahaaad!

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Anonymous Coward

I wonder if..

..this would work on some of the systems where I work?

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O'Leary's view?

Surely another revenue stream for Ryanair; tick here for Goat Sacrifice; £3 or £5 if you pay at the airport.

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'Pay as you Goat'

I can only imagine a new service contract scheme for Nepal airways on a pay per sacrifice basis , they could even call it 'Pay as you Goat'

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Solution

Well,

A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a good solution

Have a look at the poster below

http://demotivate.org/pages/posters/solution/solution.htm

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Anonymous Coward

Menu?

I wonder what was on the in-flight catering list that day?!!

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Remind me never to...

... fly on Nepal Airlines. Ever.

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I Wonder.....

If BAA could use this to get their quite frankly astronomical queues down to under 2 hours?

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This could start a whole new industry

Goatware for Windows

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Presumably BAA...

...would use a sheep?

[Coat on, boarding pass in hand]

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Oh yes...

I knew my method of computer fixes would catch on.. I've sacrificed a number of chickens at a users desk while working in desktop support. Worked a treat and they've never asked for their computer to be fixed again. ;-).

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Anonymous Coward

Hmmmm...

Maybe the problem was caused by dodgy RAM?

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Nepalese version

Of shake a dead chicken, simply

calming the god of the white smoke.

It worked didn't it they know what

they are doing (cancels nepalese

flight).

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Pretend friends...

I would certainly find it reassuring to have fly with an airline that has a belief in essential things to flight, like pretend friends (Santa Clause, Tooth Fairy, god etc...) rather than non-essentials like regular maintainence, experienced pilots, Radar. There can be no doubt that the goat slaying would have been critical to the success of this flight, and all airlines should sack their maintainence staff and replace them with quadraped-loathing axmen instead.

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re menu

Certainly NOT goat - they need to keep the spares for in flight electrical problems...

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BA BA BA

No, management accountability is the way forward for BA, let's sacrifice a few of their executivesif the queues don't go down and the whole board when they not only loose luggage but fail to get it to you and just auction it off instead!!!

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Anonymous Coward

BAA queues under 2 hours?

... that'll take an elephant, brown bear and cart horse sacrifice

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Come on guys...

I can't be the only one who propitiates the Machine God with a sacrifice to fix an unstable network/dodgy Windows install/whatever.

It works at least as well as calling Support.

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Oh Dear

I hope theyve got an emergancy goat on board for when the wings fall off cos they didnt actually repair them.

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Caught on the hoof

Can you imagine the conversation beforehand,

Pilot 'The plane is due to fly in 10 minutes and the engines aren't working'

Engineer: 'Well mate, your out of luck. Left the tools at home today.'

Pilot ' What! Why?'

Engineer 'Well it's bring your pets to work day innit. Have you tried carrying a tool box and dragging two angry goats?'

Pilot 'Isn't there anything you can do?'

Engineer 'Weeeeellll. We could sacrifice the goats to the god of air. Only got em cos the wife likes the mangy things. Make a right mess of the house'

Pilot 'Will it work?'

Engineer 'Dunno. Lets give it a try. No harm in it'

Pilot (eyeing the queques of angry tourists) 'Ok, ok. Just be quick'

Cue two dead goats.

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Well then

I'll bet the grossly overpaid engineers at Boeing are scrambling to find a local supplier of properly vetted sacrificial goats.

Maybe the gullible corporate owners will now see through the folly of hiring slugs who drank their way through 4, 6, 8 years or more of higher studies.

Once again, the value of out-sourcing is revealed for all to see.

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Mods?

Is it penny beer at the pub today? I posted nearly 2 hours ago and my wiseness has not yet been passed on to the (un)deserving folk.

Is my previous remittance of 200 US dollars (per your instructions) for this month no longer sufficient to cover your "publication costs" for my posts?

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Ahhh...

A good ol' SCSI issue needed to be resolved.

"SCSI is *not* magic. There are _fundamental_technical_reasons_

why you have to sacrifice a young goat to your SCSI chain every now and then."

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Anonymous Coward

More appropriate and

Makes more sense than prayers to an invisible-sky-daddy or god-on-a-stick.

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I hereby withdraw

my previous heretical statements and/or claims.

I have never paid any amount of compensation to any person affiliated with theregister.co.uk. I do realize I may have transgressed the boundaries of legality in an attempt at humor. My sincere apologies to any who were offended.

I and my family thank you for your assurance that no retribution will be carried out against us. You are too kind.

Faithfully, Tony

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This is the future

and a new technology services career is born.

this one really will require high priests - i always wanted to see that on a business card.

and if the sacrifice doesn't work, the priest can always intone, "THE GODS ARE ANGRY, we must now sacrifice all who complain." that'll shut them up.

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Anonymous Coward

WTF!

So, from what I read of Tony's statements I didnt REALLY need to pay that two thousand million zlotis into the unnamed Polish band account in order to be able to post my inane comments on el reg.

Bah humbug! That's another £5.20 wasted :(

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Tom
Silver badge

All this and PETA hasn't been told...

What is wrong with the world. All this talk of "using" animals and PETA hasn't complained?? There must be some mistake!!

Oh, I'm sorry, PETA stands for People Eating Tasty Animals.

Then again, how DOES goat taste (probably "like chicken").

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How goat tastes...

depends entirely on what goat you eat.

Shoot an old mangy feral billygoat in mid rut and it'll taste and feel like boot leather marinated in piss. so the dog gets that stuff. A young yearling doe tastes like a cross between venison and prime lamb, Slightly mild gameiness with good texture and flavour. A young kid 3 months or under tastes like gamey chicken.

They make good roasts :D and are a very lean healthy red meat :D

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Anonymous Coward

Goat Sausages?

"Fixed some snags" - Yum

"Fix me some snags Bruce, I'm just lighting the barbie!"

"Goat one's OK, Bruce?"

"Yep, mate, that'll do Bruce"

PS: I've actually flown Royal Nepal Airlines quite a few times.

I alwaus wondered what the bloody mary's were made of.

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move along, move along, nothing to see here

This is their standard procedure for fixing electrical faults. You should see what they do when there are problems with the fuel lines...

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ship christening

So the Nepalese repair the plane and sacrifice a couple of goats. How is that different from building a boat and calling a priest to say incantations and then breaking a bottle? Not to mention the numerous superstitions around boats, or the fallacious cell phone use ban in planes, until airlines can charge for it. You guys need to get out more I reckon.

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