no comment, but good headline.

What self respecting American goes on a cross country kidnapping/murder attempt & doesn't use a gun? Oh course she's crazy judge, just give her probation & call it a day.

Well done - a whole oxymoronic sentance - now the whole internet is going to disappear up it's own arse.

Headline of the year! (And a real funny last line of story too). Well done chaps!

Best. Headline. Ever!

Lester called; he wants his headline writer back.

If this isn't classed as "Conduct unbecoming of an officer" then I'm going to join NASA and spend the entire time absolutely plastered, dressed up in a space suit, shouting incomprehensible gibberish at passers by, all the while pointing up at the sky with a frightened look on my face.

And I'll do it all with complete impunity damnit!

I have the feeling that your plan might not be bonkers enough. You might have to say "Wibble" now and then with a pair of pants on your head and two pencils up your noise. Then you might just get away with it.

I mean, driving cross country in diapers in a trench coat in order to spray mace in your rival's face and shoot her with a bb gun, is kinda like insane.

"Calling Ms Page... Ms Page to the reception please"

Surely Lewis Page is a man. An (ex) sailor man, no less - a roughie, toughie matelot.

Who cares if she's crazy and in a poopy diaper, I'd still do her!

Asked a girl what she wanted to be

She said baby, can't you see

I wanna get even, and be real happy

I’m driving down to Florida wear’n a nappy.

Baby I wont wipe my ass

When I have to stop for gas

Baby I wont wipe my ass

And maybe I'll love you

I told the judge that my butt is real sore

He said baby, its from what you wore

Driving to Orlando is all very OK

But you should have stopped and gone Pott-a

Baby I wont wipe my ass

When I have to stop for gas

Baby I wont wipe my ass

And maybe I'll love you

Poop Poop'm Poop Poop yeah

Baby I wont wipe my ass

When I have to stop for gas

Baby I wont wipe my ass

And maybe I'll love you

I told that girl to get out of her car

When she said listen babe stay back real far

I got no lover and it's breaking my heart

But I'm wearing diapers and I got to fart

Baby I wont wipe my ass

When I have to stop for gas

Baby I wont wipe my ass

And maybe I'll love you

Poop Poop'm Poop Poop yeah

Poop Poop'm Poop Poop yeah

Poop Poop'm Poop Poop yeah

Poop Poop'm Poop Poop yeah

Poop Poop'm Poop Poop yeah

Very funny. And, well done, you driven "Spider Pig" out of my head at last. D'Oh! It's back in there again now.