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back to article eBay seller nabs $1500 for Jesus-like garage stain

An American family just sold the stain on the floor of their garage for more than $1500. This may or may not be a sign from God. According to the The Associated Press, the stain looks like Jesus Christ. To us, it looks like a stain. Smudge on a driveway in Virginia Smudge on a driveway in Virginia After noticing some …

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Pirate

It looks like a pirate with an eyepatch. Arrrrr!

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Anonymous Coward

It's articles like this...

...that set El Reg apart from those run of the mill sites..

Thanks Register

Thegister

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It's Che Guevara

Maybe they just wanted it for a T-shirt design

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Anonymous Coward

Hmm

Looks more like Kokopelli playing the skin flute to me?

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RE: Pirate

Maybe a sign for the Pastafarians out there!

His noodley lord moves in mysterious ways...

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It's a lion

Actually, to me, it looks like half of a male lion's face, with the dark areas around the edges being the lion's mane.

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Anonymous Coward

Y'all are blind

It's plainly the missing half of the Mars Face

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Cash and Christianity?

I'm not sure ... did the buyer indicate which religion they invest in? Maybe they'll be using it for evil ... like maybe some sort of voodoo ritual. In which case, it should be readily apparent who's visage (if any) is represented, once they start limping or speaking in tongues or whatever ...

Anyway, it's highly unlikely that an image of Jesus would manifest itself on a Lutheran garage floor. Typically, He prefers foodstuffs like tortillas and toast from the homes of Catholics.

I'd say, "Cash, Christianity and Crazies."

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Pareidolia

Common Reg at list explain a bit about this phenomena. Find out more here at everyones favorite reference http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pareidolia

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Title

I've got a birthmark on my left buttock which looks like Jesus. Of course, I can't sell it, but I'm offering anyone who feels so inclined the opportunity of staring at and worshiping my arse. Let's start a movement!

eBay item: 995477363564758688-993836565j.

Serious enquiries only!

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Silver badge

That ain't Jesus!

I know Jesus. That ain't him. It's hellboy!

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Anonymous Coward

Where's the...

.. Paris Hilton angle?

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Driven by two things

On the first glimpse of

"The Reg can safely say that America is a country driven by two things: cash and Christianity."

I misread it as "cash and insanity". Must have been my mind's expectations.

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Anonymous Coward

jesus saves

god knows what he looks like though .... i had a wizz in the snow that looked closer......

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Anonymous Coward

Jesus Christ is Holy

Jesus is not going to be found on a dirty floor. He is Holy- It is awful that someone would pay that much for something when he can be living inside your heart- and there are starving children all over the world. The word says in Romans 10:9 If you confess with your mouth and believe in your heart that Jesus was raised from the dead you shall be saved. We all need forgivness. If you died tonight where would you go? When we go to Heaven material things do not go with us- like that oily piece of rock. No offense whomever bought it just does not know better. Satan is at hand in this world and he wants to take anyone he can with him to hell.

Jesus will return, he says so and I believe. Without faith it is impossible to please God. He loves us all no matter what our circumstances are. Ask and he will show you the way is only through him. My husband gave his life to Him and accepted him as Savior years ago and we have a new life- and we are truly blessed. If you seek him you will find him- do not be conformed to the patterns of the world.

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Anonymous Coward

What a surprise

I suppose it was inevitable that someone religious would take offense to this article. I'd like now to mention my pride at having avoided referring to said individual as a jesus freak or religious nut. Please feel free to mention that not capitalising the J in jesus is blaphemy. I don't mind....really

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Anonymous Coward

Jesus is God

if you choose not to believe and be against God thats your decision.Pride is a sin & does not come from God.It is the main reason people are blinded in the dark. I was not offended as i stated- just broken hearted for the lost.

by the way-im not religious- like the pharasees were - i just follow the Lord. Your opinion is a little shallow and not just,

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Anonymous Coward

Cheap at half the price

Not so much $1,500 for a stain, but $1,500 for conclusive and irrefutable proof that God is real, and that we will all live forever in the afterlife. I think this pretty much settles the question of religion, and smashes the doubters.

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Well...

"I suppose it was inevitable that someone religious would take offense to this article."

You can never tell with the internet - it could be someone just pretending to be a religious nut. However, if that person was genuine then it is VERY, VERY scary.

NEway, I'd say America is for "cash, crazies, Christians, bigots and homophobes"... but they're all the same thing. Honestly, I think the world would be a better place if the US just sunk into the sea and drowned everyone there (leaving Canada, of course). And if you are an American reading this: yes, you are despised right around the world.

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re: Jesus Christ is Holy

You are obviously a religious person and this is a free and open comments section so all views are welcome. However there are a couple of things you have written which, imho, don't make sense.

Firstly you said "He loves us all no matter what our circumstances are." By "He" i assume you mean the christian God to be precise. Now if this statement is wholly true then "no matter what our circumstances", whether we are christian, muslim, bhuddist, atheist, agnostic, even devil-worshipping, God will love us unconditionally. He'll love us if we spend $1500 on a dirty piece of concrete or give it to charity.

Now the sentence directly before that one says "Without faith it is impossible to please God." If this statement is also wholly true then the only people who could ever please God are faithfully christians. By implication every other person on the planet who does not have faith in your God can never please him no matter what the circumstances. If a bhuddist brings about world peace or an atheist develops a cure for cancer your God will be angry because they do not have faith in him. But if a devout christian goes to war, whatever the reason God will be pleased because they have absolute faith in him.

How can God love us unconditionally and yet require us to please him? If he loves us unconditionally then no matter what we all say, do, think, feel, believe or disbelieve he loves us all and we should all equally benefit from that love. Faith becomes irrelevant, believing in him becomes irrelevant, HE becomes irrelevant. But if faith IS relevant, is a requisite for his pleasure, his love, then thats a pretty narrow set of circumstances, a pretty large condition for his love.

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Tim

Well ...

Jonas Taylor, you must not know many Americans, you're comments are ignorant. Cash does drive America ... unfortunately big business rules and that won't change as long as money influences politicians. Religion is shrinking every year (not soon enough for me) and agnostics are starting to gain power. As for your other comments, the bulk of Americans are good caring people and not judgmental bigots and homophobes. As for crazies ... America certainly does not own exclusive rights there.

Your comments do accurately describe the clown currently running our government (and his administration), but his administration does not represent all the American people. We'd have another leader if the monkey's in the Democratic party could have come up with a candidate that didn't make the Three Stooges look like University professors.

I've been to several countries many many times (UK more than most) and have seen people's anger towards America. However, nearly every time it's misguided. They are angry with our government's policies the arrogance at the helm.

Don't judge by worthless politicians and the people the news companies decide to highlight. Travel and engage. Now if in 2009 a Bush crony gets elected I'll eat my words and move to Canada to avoid the flood.

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Anonymous Coward

Title

Yes He WIll Love you if you spend money on a dirty rock. God Loves ALL PEOPLE- if they decide not to love him or Believe in Him Im sure that is displeasing being that he died for our sins and we have no faith. God is forever faithful. You cannot pick apart everything and turn it into what you want to- the bible is what it is- it is the living word- He is concerned about all of us- how we feel,think - but NOT ALL of us seek him with a True Heart that he gave us. Do you understand what being born of the spirit means? Jesus is the only one who rose - not any other god-gods. Only God can save people- do you know who you are whenever you look in the mirror everyday. We are all sinners - we all need forgivness- I Love God - He saved my marriage, he gave me a baby after many years- he paid off all my debt- and he healed my husbands liver. I know it must be hard for you to believe- FAce it I do not kow you and you do not know me. I do not judge you because that is not my place- Bieng in a relationship with Jesus is something you build. He loves you more than anyone ever could. My little girls daddy will go to heaven- she can grow and see the light of Christ in him- the eye is the lamp of the body- people can see in your eyes. I know how the world is- I have seen Muslims give their life to Christ that did not understand The Trinity is 1-one being a pastor now and his family disowned him. Unless you search the scripture and give into the inborn thirst God gives you- you will never be what he made you to be. You will die never experiancing that miraculious relationship. The knowledge and love he brings that cannot come from anything else. Just pray and he will show you- dont give up. The Blood of Jesus paid for our sins. Jesus is the light of the world John 8:12

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Anonymous Coward

By The Way

God Loves you~ yes even if a person is not a Christian he loves them. God is Love. Thank God he loved me when I was not a follower- my life became very complicated and either I gave into a lie in my marriage or let everything go and trusted God. When I decided to call his name he showed up and he has been with me every since (I could have kept living the path I was on without calling him- sometimes I think about that and know my life would have been miserable if I did not), His Angels are everywhere- but so is the fallen angels that are demons in the world. Yes there is a such thing- they have been around along time..

It is what the word says... Just talk to God he will show you if you truly want to know. There is so much to know and so little time. Thomas did not believe and Jesus let him touch his nail pierced hands. He said blessed are those who believe and have not seen. I do not follow the world or anybody in the world. I belong to him and that is freedom to me. Yes I am a sinner and I am not perfect- but I am saved and so can you if you ask. God will not turn his back on anyone who truly calls his name.

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Anonymous Coward

All of U.S.?

I mean, as one of these 'merkins I'd be happy to see most of it sink into the sea.

Perhaps parts of Washington, Oregon and Northern California could be floated? I rather like San Francisco. (I was going to say 'saved' but considering some of the comments I thought perhaps thats an alley best not gone further into)

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Jesus with a sea view

If you can get 750 quid for a stain on your garage floor, imagine what the miraculous jesus image on Brighton's West Pier must be worth, coming, as it does, complete with a crown of thorns, a cracking sea view, good access to local amenities and the best gay hotspots Sussex has to offer.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/wildgoosechase/516568943/

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Anonymous Coward

Please do not speak for me...

People may believe what they like (although I feel that any belief in a higher power is an emotional crutch and a sign of mental illness) but please do not include me in your delusions.

When I die for what ever reason whether it be organ failure, illness, or what ever, it will basically result in cardiac failure, the cessation of blood flow within my body, the starvation of oxygen to my brain and the subsequent shut down of neurons (resulting in the 'white light') and the loss of my 'self'. Once that's happened that's it. I'm plant food (and intend being placed under an oak tree sapling). I will not die per se because my atoms will continue to exist in this universe. But my 'self' will be gone.

So this life is all I have and I don't know how long it is. I am not frightened of death and have no need to believe in anything else since I am well aware of my place in the universe. All I can do is ensure that I have a good and rewarding life as possible concentrating on the here and now and not some mythical after life...

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Re the capital J

It's not Blasphemy, it's just good manners to capitalise the firstletter of a proper noun... I.E. someones name.

Now not capitalising the C in Christ, which is his title :D that will send you down to join the ranks of the damned ;)

it's up to you to decide if 'm serious or not... This is the internet after all, I could be any kind of crazy and all you would know is a set of black and white lines on the screen... or white on black or however you've rigged your browser to display things. Now THAT takes care of any IT angle the mention of Ebay doesn't

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Bronze badge

@ the anonymous and deluded

Religious types are so gullible, I see a business opportunity here for those unscrupulous enough to take advantage of such blind faith.

In answer to the pro god nonsense I have read here....

The way I see it their rules make me out a sinner,

why should I care at all what they think?

Without a real foundation I see their faith is just illusion

They're following blind whilst thinking they see.

Invisible are the shackles that religion drapes around them

define their horizons, yet they think they are free.

Ideals they say will save us all just drive us to destruction

Their faith has no foothold on reality.

I'm here surrounded in a valley of hate,

holy words preach intolerance and evil.

I deny their gods beyond my dying breath,

For their faith is the root of much evil.

Who writes what is holy who determines holy scripture?

are they words of god like I have been told.

Or prescript from the mouths of men who need to hold advantage,

over the flock that they fleece, who do as they're told.

Now I don't want to stop them all from being so deluded,

What right have I to tread on their toes?

I only ask politely they they keep their god fuelled madness,

unto themselves so it never grows.

Here I reside in a valley of death

betwixt the true purveyors of evil.

One one side the dollar on the other some god

these ways are the root of all evil.

I weep for all the children who will grow to know no better

the beauty of truth is kept from their eyes.

Indoctrinating young ones to perpetuate delusion

is one of their more insidious crimes.

An evil spreads amongst us from generation to generation,

that inbreeds an ignorance and poisons new minds.

With foundation based on myth and a core that's truly rotten.

religion is superstition traditionalised.

If you choose to believe that jesus was the son of some god and died for our sins(Although, we weren't around at the time) rather than being a political activist who just couldn't keep his mouth shut. So be it. It doesn't make you right.

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Morons

Everywhere else on earth the advance of education results in the weakening of superstition. However, in the US there's no sign of this - somehow they've reconciled their real religion (materialism) with a slightly batty Middle Eastern cult (Christianity). Amusing.

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Who let the crazies out of the nuthouse..

And why are they suddenly invading the comments section of The Register? The way these people go on about how great God is, is nothing short of frightening.

We're talking here about a God who, if for a moment we pretend that the bible is correct, wiped out not just cities, but large swaths of the globe. He *raped* a jewish woman to give birth to what amounts to a clone. He then arranged for the cold blooded murder of this clone. And what was this supposed to accomplish? To forgive everyone for the everlasting 'sin' that he himself bestowed upon all of humanity in the garden of eden, because some snake convinced a girl to eat some fruit.

The entire premise of the bible is downright psychotic, and people who believe this crap to the extend that this other poster does, is equally so.

re: Tim: While I understand where you are coming from, I have to point out one thing... Bush had to be voted in by somebody. Americans voted him in. TWICE. And you can't say the second time that Kerry was all THAT bad. At least he could spell.

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Well...

"Jonas Taylor, you must not know many Americans, you're comments are ignorant."

Of the Americans I've met many have been rude and arrogant. I do not claim that that is what all Americans are like (of course that would be ridiculous), only that that is the impression of the nation as a whole (hence my original statement). There are plenty of progressive states that put the rest of the world to shame but they are dragged down by the backward states full of religious zealots, bigots and extreme capitalism.

"Religion is shrinking every year (not soon enough for me) and agnostics are starting to gain power."

In some areas maybe but from what I've seen it seems to be increasing - there is a polarisation, with the religious becoming ever more extreme and the athiests becoming increasingly resentful.

"I've been to several countries many many times (UK more than most) and have seen people's anger towards America. However, nearly every time it's misguided. They are angry with our government's policies the arrogance at the helm."

And they were voted in by the majority of the US voting public to represent the nation. Not only that but Bush was reelected after his disastrous first term. See where I'm coming from? I detest what the UK has become thanks to Tony Blair and am ashamed to call myself British - sadly I accept that this is apparently what the majority of the country want.

"Don't judge by worthless politicians and the people the news companies decide to highlight. Travel and engage."

And go through all the absurd security checks and have my life examined by unchecked US government agencies? No thanks. It is only under Bush that I have come to resent and dislike the US. Vote in another leader that will actually change things and stop the disasterous foreign policy and I'll happily reconsider. However, the US continues to meddle in the Middle East, particularly with regards to Israel, and so I have no time to listen to worthless excuses.

"God will not turn his back on anyone who truly calls his name."

So all these natural disasters, murders and tragic accidents are all part of the picture? Praying has always helped recovered people affected by accidents, like mine collapses? Give me a break. There is no evidence of God playing an active role in human existence... in fact there is a distinct lack of it, especially considering the amount of people that believe in religious crap. I lead a moral life... if that isn't good enough for God, should he exist, then that "God" isn't worth knowing. I won't pray or worship something that I cannot verify.

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Postage Costs?

Dear Ebayer, This item is collection only. You may bring your own drill to remove it or we can come to some agreement with a contractor. Please remember that you must replace the concrete so that I don't end up with a whopping hole in my garage.

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Anonymous Coward

Never argue with a religious person

If they could be made to understand something through a logical explanation of it then they wouldnt be religious in the first place.

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I also have a Jesus stain!

That smudge doesn't look very Jesus like to me at all. In all the pictures I've seen at my church Jesus is a handsome white male with flowing hair (and definitely not Jewish or smudgy). Nope, somebody got ripped off with a cheap knockoff Jesus.

Why buy second rate Jesus merchandise when you can shop at my house and get only top quality Jesus iconography?

I invite the guys quoting scripture above to come and have a look at the pattern the leak in my roof has made. It looks just like Jesus looking down on the room from heaven! For a limited time only if you cart it away, replace my roof, and pay me $1500 I'll let you keep the stain.

Call me today and get a free lollipop in the shape of the pope!

Tomorrow: I saw Jesus hiding in my compost heap! Spread it out over the garden and I'll let you keep any bits that look like the Almighty.

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The Reg is a Tech/News Site

Could we keep the proselytising to the sunday schools, please? Most of us don't care what the christians (or Muslims, Jews, Hindus or anyone else) think of us, and we really don't need to preached to in the comments page of a story about the stupidity of some people.

Ta

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@ It's articles like this...

LMFAO!

"Thanks Register

Thegister"

I aint seen this in ages - i can't believe I have found a concealed reference to Look Around You!! Whoever you are, you are LEGENDARY!

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The Religion of Contradictions

If god is all forgiving and all loving, your faith, all your actions, and all your thoughts on earth are irrelevant. Fighting over religion is thus moot, and doing anything in god's name whether it be war or charity simply exposes you as a fool.

If god is all forgiving and all loving he must love and forgive you whether you are a serial killer, a child molesting priest, or even if you're a dumbass american.

"Jesus is not going to be found on a dirty floor. He is Holy" ... I guess all that work with the lepers was just another lie made up in the bible? Being an oily splotch on the floor is far cleaner, so why not be an inanimate coincidental splotch of dirt? Or wait! maybe this is just more proof that jesus wasn't holy!

If we are all created in god's image ... then the sin of pride DOES come from god, as does every other sin. Don't tell me it came from a mythical figure's choice to eat an apple ... who created the apple and imbued it with it's evil secrets?

.... All we are seeing with the buyer and seller of this coincidental splotch, and the freaks proclaiming their misguided faith in the splotch is a bunch of fools who don't understand that our sight and brain has evolved to be very good at pattern recognition, to the point that we often see patterns in things that are meaningless.

If you weren't good at seeing a lion in the tall grass on the African Savannah's, you would be lunch. By being good at seeing lion in the tall grass, you also end up seeing coincidental patterns elsewhere. It is as simple as that.

"We are all atheists about most of the gods that humanity has ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further." - Richard Dawkins

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The real story behind the Splotch

Son, wipe up that oily splotch you made on the floor!

... No mom! I don't want to!

... Son, wipe that mess up right now!

... No Mom, I'm a lazy little bastard, I don't want to clean up my mess!

... Son, you'll be grounded if you don't clean up your mess right now!

... But mom! It's the image of jesus! It the second coming! He's back, in the form of an inanimate oily splotch!

... Son, stop procrastinating, clean it up now!

... I'll prove it's jesus mom! I'll sell it on ebay! If someone buys it, it must be real!

... fine son, just use the money to get someone to clean up that damn oily splotch.

OK Mom.

(read's best if you use the voice of Eric Cartman as the son)

Kind of makes you re-think that whole 'virgin birth' too doesn't it? Really dad, i swear we never had sex! It was an act of god!

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Not Christianity! Cash and More cash

I disagree with this statement:

The Reg can safely say that America is a country driven by two things: cash and Christianity.

As an american I can say this is incorrect America is driven by two things Cash and More Cash because as Sir Elton John observed "Christians are the most intolerant people on the Planet" (paraphrased of course) but being a former xtian I can attest to the truth of his statement Christian religions are motivated by Cash

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J

But why...

Back to the important issues for a second: I also thought it was Che Guevara as soon as I saw it -- but a Che with a black eye. But the pirate idea is much better and makes much more sense. Ramen!

"He saved my marriage, he gave me a baby after many years- he paid off all my debt- and he healed my husbands liver."

Lucky you! Now why does god hate amputees so much?

http://www.whydoesgodhateamputees.com/

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One more thing!!!!

as to all these xtian morons spouting in the coments here about JC:

Everyone knows that JC wasn't a christian SHE was a Jewess and She was Black

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Doc

Sshhh, Jesus is coming...

...look busy!

I'll get my coat.

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Anonymous Coward

RE: Andy's comments

"Tomorrow: I saw Jesus hiding in my compost heap! Spread it out over the garden and I'll let you keep any bits that look like the Almighty."

LOL - almost choked on my apple!

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go back to your caves christians

religious nuts scare me more than anyone else, anyone that can so blindly belive the unbelivable with absolutly no factual evidence to support there conclusions deserves no place in the science and engineering world.

go back to you caves and leave us alone

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what...

is an iPhone?

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Cheap at half the price

I am sure the seller will wish they got a bit more than $1500 when the buyer turns up with his digging equipment to rip the garage floor up. Or perhaps the buyer can come up with some clever “pound of flesh” type argument?

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Ahh religion...

Another excellent business oppurtunity....

And jesus is chinese anyway. His last name's "Yun", says he he has no idea where pepole are getting christ from. - Stewie Giriffin

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Anonymous Coward

Stain

Looks like the guy on the JOB cigarette papers!

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Anonymous Coward

I couldn't fail to disagree with you less

I agree with some ofour resident nutter's thoughts:

Jesus is not going to be found on a dirty floor.

- because he died two thousand years ago

there are starving children all over the world.

- well spotted

We all need forgivness.

- some more than others

Without faith it is impossible to please God.

- but without belief in god I don't care that I don't please him.

do not be conformed to the patterns of the world.

- backatcha, opiate of the masses etc.

As for this:

"He saved my marriage, he gave me a baby after many years- he paid off all my debt- and he healed my husbands liver"

I think you are failing to give yourself credit for whatever you and your partner did yourselves to help your marriage, and you seem to be neglecting your partner's assitance with conception (or is this another virgin birth?).

As for being ungrateful to anyone that helped with your debts (by assisting towards them or maybe deferring repossession) and the medical staff you helped your husband, I hope they don't bother next time. Personally I would rather have surgeon than a priest when I get sick.

I too am "broken hearted" for the lost people of the world, only we disagree about who is lost and who is not. Just because you have a map does not mean you are where you should be.

As for a couple of the comments above, the point espoused by this poor misguided fool is that you need to do certain things to please god (like worship him exclusively) but that his love is unconditional. Like parental love for child, it does not waver, but you can at the same time be more or less pleased with their school grades, for example. As for forgiveness, this is granted to anyone - but only those who repent. So yes, a mass murderer or paedophile who genuinely is sorry for their sins wouldbe forgiven by this god. That's why so many people like the Christian concept - you only have to be good once.

To the poster who choked on his apple - maybe you should deliberately read far too much into this and become a convert - God saved you from the sin of eating the apple by making you spit it out because of a post someone wrote. He truly does work in mysterious ways.

If the person who found this splotch had said they did it deliberately and called it modern art, then it would have fetched twice the price and half the interest.

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Primate

Looks more like the primate from Planet of the apes footsoldier,

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