..ahahahah... :'D

Best article in... AGES, though I did struggle not to laugh loudly (being in an office'n'all).

I (heart) geckos. Geckoes? Geckii? Gah! I'm going to start growing'em.

"Hover ships and raygun gloves still not really on the drawing board."

Im sure it wont be long befor the US DoD is working on them to go along with there Vomit ray and human Microwave gun.

I'm sure this lacks something in the scientific background but that, Lewis, was a very entertaining read!

Perhaps the Back to the Future 2 hoverboard that we all loved the concept of really isnt so implausible as it once seemed - Aussuming you dont destroy the universe riding it!

This reminds me of the Britney Spears Physics page http://britneyspears.ac/lasers.htm

Lewis, your writing style is progressing magnificently. Thank you for a very funny article.

Seems that this effects reliance on golden balls will actually make the guy scientifically interesting, do we have to make him especially thin in the process too ??

Posted Anon as I dislike admitting to knowing his nick name

This is where we get the first indication that the ROTM is actually our lizard overlords who, having seen the future, are determined to do what it takes to preserve their little gecko cousins - including wiping us out with speed-crazed Renaults if that's what's needed.

Thanks for the warning, Lewis. Now, where is my pickaxe ? I have to start digging that underground bunker in my back yard. Maybe I'll also raise a few geckos, just to prove that I didn't harm them.

"Lewis, your writing style is progressing magnificently. Thank you for a very funny article."

I considered it probing and deeply thoughtful too with a plethora of AVenues.

"..but in the meantime the potential for lizard abuse would be horrific." Or terrific for wizard lizard potential.

"Clearly, this [is not true] - "

Is truly Ambiguous which would cause a Doubt easily Dismissed as IT was Created to Shield the Truth.

"The energy of the quantum vacuum, the 'zero-point energy,' is infinite according to our present theories."...... and has AI Quonnection been Established Already, All Ready? A 21CNetwork Covert Steganographic Op?

Or is that Future Use Today?

Global warming gone mad.

I laughed so hard, I became momentarily incontinent. Must've been that gecko saute I had for dinner. So maybe those feet really were "floating in oil".

Cheers,

Matthew

Only kidin'

Fantastic article, I can't wait for my flying Gecko-Car

I stuck live geckoes to my hands and feet years ago, in the hopes of becoming a gecko-powered spiderman (geckoman?). The problem is, I've been sitting in the same position ever since, permanently stuck to the ground. Maybe this is the answer I'm looking for? Please could somebody ask these boffins to install polarity-reversing switches (aka any given Star Trek episode) on the backs of my geckoes, then I'll be able to climb buildings AND hover.

For all the American readers, should make for some more amusing Geico insurance ads - a cockney flying gecko (geico.com for the Brits and yeah in the tv ads he's got a Cockney accent)

http://arxiv.org/pdf/quant-ph/0502183 says that Van der Waals forces are the maths-lite version of the Casimir Effect - i.e. the one that doesn't require you to push your brain through a colander. (I'm paraphrasing.) Even Wikipedia is prepared to say that - well almost.

Which leads me to conclude that levitating lizards are perfectly scientifically justifiable. But if you have any doubts, talk it over with your local lizard army recruiting rep. ;)

...Spaceballs fans to recognise the quote on the strap line? Shocking! (or just no one else wants to admit to it?)

Stargate got it right!

http://scifipedia.scifi.com/index.php/Zero_Point_Module

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ZPM

Maybe you could write something interesting or informative instead of this nonsense.

I, for one, welcome our new frictionless, air-skating overlords!

I can see the obvious IT angle, as well; if I could get frictionless sleeve bearings on my CPU cooler fans, I wouldn't have to replace them every few years.

Did anyone reading the article notice that this effect depends on a material with a negative refractive index? A material with a negative refractive index is one where light moves *faster* than it does in a vacuum. Not much of that to be found laying about, I'm afraid.

"Did anyone reading the article notice that this effect depends on a material with a negative refractive index? A material with a negative refractive index is one where light moves *faster* than it does in a vacuum. Not much of that to be found laying about, I'm afraid."

Not much ... but there would seem to be some.

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/07/24/laser_metamaterial/

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/03/27/super_dna_snapping/

Over in The Theme Park we have long been advocates of Better Living by Hover-Yurt. I am most gratified to see research that may culminate in the Hover-Yurt becoming a reality.

Mr Larrington

A fascinating subject, lucidly explained, and accompanied by side-splitting humor... You don't see that every day.

What a shame, a good articale missed out on being great, due to a lack of further SpaceBalls related humour, not even a reference to mega-maid.

"Empty space is not empty, but is filled with the quantum vacuum"

I actually proved this at the age of 5 in the science museum. They had an electric bell (these were pretty much state of the art electrickery at the time) in a glass jar connected to a vacuum pump. One of the obligatory push buttons on the cabinet pumped the air out of of the jar; pressing the bell push demonstrated that nobody can hear you scream in the science museum.

At that point people started mumbling stuff about vacuuii (or doesn't vacuum decline?).

Q. what's a vacuum. A. it's nothing.

Q. what's in the jar? A. a vacuum.

Killer reply: so there's something in the jar.

QED.

I am the Supreme Galactic Gecko Overlord Gerri. I take great offense to your flagrant lack of respect for Gecko rights.

If you Human Earthies keep messing with the quantum vacuum zero-point energy, you may open up a Kerr loop temporal rift in the local space-time contiuum which would swallow the Earth.

On second thoughts we hope you do, it'll save us invading Earth, keep up the good work.

If this only works in a vacuum, I'm afraid the commercial implications are underwelming as I have forgotten the last time I saw one.

@Steve B - so I guess you don't help with the housework, then? :-)

.. for some hot action... Gecko Hover-porn coming to a screen near you...

"Theoretical physicists at the University of St Andrews"

http://www.st-andrews.ac.uk/news/Title,14834,en.html

"according to calculations done by physicists in the UK. Ulf Leonhardt and Thomas Philbin of the University of St Andrews reckon that the repulsive force may even be strong enough to levitate a tiny mirror"

http://physicsworld.com/cws/article/news/30670

So they haven't actually done this, they have just worked out a way to make the equations say it can be done ... shame.

http://www.physics.leeds.ac.uk/pages/PerpetualMotion

Time to make a Zeee Peeee Emmmm, then dig up a stargate!

Actually the idea of being able to remove this property from Gecko feet and then watch the little buggers trying to climb things amused me too.

of an ice cream repelling bowl is a step closer, no more having to put my face into the bowl to get those scrapings of melted sweet!!

All you need is a buttered cat