Feeds

back to article Miserable Brits declare War on Comfort

All the year round, but especially during the summer, British newspapers love to serve up stories of American idiocy. These involve US citizens exhibiting strange overreactions, or cult-like behaviour, or generally imposing themselves in an irrational or hysterical way. In a nation as big as the USA - or even a state so rich in …

COMMENTS

This topic is closed for new posts.

Page:

troll!

what a great troll article... please don't feed the troll by reponding as if it's genuine.

0
0
Anonymous Coward

Bloggerish behaviour

If blogs are as crap as El Reg constantly says they are, I'm surprised that the arguments in this article boil down into two classic blog tropes:

1. Sub-Mail whinging about nanny state, Blair's Britain, can't do anything you want to, not fair. MUM!!! Nicky Gavron's being nasty to me!

2. Idiotic editorialising pretending there are no other sources out there saying that patio heaters are a wasteful extravagance. COS SHE JUST ASKED KEN AND KEN DOESNT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SIENCE AMIRITE?!1?!

0
0

Definition of a Puritan...

...someone who gains guilty pleasure out of denying themselves something...

0
0

What else did you expect?

Andrew

The fall of communism marked the final end of the use of "class guilt" as club to tell the rest of us what to do, but busybodies will always find an excuse to lecture the rest of us on how their perfect world is so much better than ours, so the global warming religion magically appeared to provide a ready excuse tell the rest of us how to run our lives. As before, any challenge to this notion is shouted down.

We might be better off providing a "hypocrisy and truth" rating to pundits, to better shine light on their pronouncements. Al Gore can have every interview prefaced with some hard questions on the palace he lives in, while the scientists who predicted drier summers and wetter winters in a "warming world", can be asked to explain this summer :-)

Rupert

0
0
Bronze badge

Wow

Judging by this link-infested rant, the Register has finally turned into a blog.

Just what the world needs!

0
0

Well said

Well said, Andrew.

I have well-educated colleagues and neighbours whose racist views amaze me. They honestly believe that reading The Guardian and being Carbon Neutral gives them some kind of immunity. Does eating garlic ward off vampires, too?

Climate Change gives them the excuse they've always wanted. We can have the nice things, but the rest of the world can't.

Incredible.

0
0
Silver badge

Let's continue to take the piss out of the Americans

This example of a not so clever British politician talking non-scientific shite doesn't quite match the best of the US so please stick to finding amusing examples of American insanity to feed our superiority complex.

On a related note I was told today by a friend that the German hysteria about "doping" in cycling has reached the heights of hobby cyclists being subjected to torrents of abuse whilst on their bikes, although I can't confirm this myself. And it really is hysteria: nobody seems to mind that professional cyclists inflict physical harm on themselves by taking part in the races they do and they are all probably certifiable (most of those who took part in the first ever Tour de France were from asylums); Floyd Landis had necrosis of the hip and couldn't walk without considerable pain when he took the testorone hit.

Oh, and before I forget: where's the IT angle! ;-)

0
0

Look at the first word

All the articles labeled "Comment" are blog entries, pure opinion pieces meant to entertain, or hadn't you noticed yet?

0
0
Tim

nanny knows best

We have baned cigs , we are on or way with cars what other pleasure can we take away from the plebes?. booze !

why don't they just GET A LIFE and stop trying to run everyone else's .

Has anyone noticed how it's still legal to get up every morning before the birds fart

when that has got to be bad for you .But then they would not be able to get there coffee on the way to work at noon if the milk man didn't deliver and the papers didn't come so they could read what to think /how to dress/what to eat.

F**kit I'm going for another beer an fag and light a few heaters up.cheers

0
0
Anonymous Coward

Having live in several comfy corners of the world

I can testify to the truth that British people are just as stupid as Americans. I have seen as many examples of jingoistic racism in the US as I saw growing up in Britain. The French and the Italians aren't any better, and that's as far was my education goes.

Doesn't mean there aren't a large number of reasonable people living in all these countries, and I'm not even certain the stupidly ignorant outnumber those that are happy to leave everyone to their own devices.

Governments of all flavours want to intefer with our lives - apparently they're all made up of people that think they know better than you how you ought to live, what you ought to own and how your puppy/children ought to be raised. The world will always be this way.

Best thing is to move to Spain or Holland. The hash is much better and that helps filter out all kinds of annoyances. I think.... pause.. what was I saying?

0
0

Y'know...

In fairness, the amount of heat that goes towards warming you up vs. the amount of heat that heats straight into the atmosphere is tiny... Patio heaters pretty much are a complete waste of energy, and I think if they were more widespread the issue would be noticed. That's not to say it's worth knickers getting twisted, but they're pretty irresponsible.

Whether you're a believer or a sceptic when it comes to climate change - I'm a sceptic, myself - it really doesn't hurt to play on the safe side. Anyway, exhaustion of fossil fuels is a very real situation; and wasting energy, whether by using patio heaters or leaving all your lights on constantly, doesn't help that much.

0
0
Anonymous Coward

You buch of -ing wankers

She's absolutely right. Why on earth write an editorial slamming her stance? -ing Clarkson-worshippers.

0
0

Trees incomparably good relative to politicians

"They're far less damaging than chopping down the nearest tree - or setting fire to a passing local politician."

Setting fire to local politicians might be viewed as a public service in some quarters, the problem is that they are 70% water and difficult to light ;)

Leave the trees alone, they're good shade to drink under as well as being significantly more attractive than concrete :)

0
0
Silver badge

If you're going to swear...

To the anon above, if you're going to fucking swear then do it fucking right, right?

0
0
Anonymous Coward

hmm

let me guess they'll turn it into a fineable offence to use one so they will then be able to collect your dna.

As to absolutely right - I couldn't give a toss as to the techincal principles of it all. You go out on a warm summer, you have a few beers, sit out in the beer garden with your mates becouse it's too damn loud inside. It gets nippy. And then you're bloody happy for those heaters.

Anyone going against such delicious loveliness should just help the world and kill themselves now. You'll greatly reduce your carbon footprint if you're dead so do us all a favour Misters and missus "It's a great idea to ban these ineffecient things" and do your bit for the environment - I'm sure there's a railway bridge near by you can hurl yourselves off of. Giving the dual benefits of you not having to live in an unfair world full of creature comforts, and a reduction in future carbon emissions.

Signed Anonymous

We are legion

Internet hate machine

etc etc etc

see us on fox11

0
0
Anonymous Coward

Please, put it all in context...

I've seen a quote "Patio heaters create 4 tonnes of C02 per year" But how many hours per day/year are they on? How does that compare to a human or cow (And how many do I have to kill to remain carbon-neutral :-)

From my POV, I can't smoke in pubs any more as I might harm the health of a worker. Fair enough, I'll smoke outside but obviously I'll look for a pub that makes its customers as happy as possible. And my non-smoking friends will go along with me, to keep the party going.

But now I'm being condemned for contributing to global warming. So let's take a logical view. Ban patio heaters, ban smoking and ban drinking too, as they're all "bad". OTOH, if you vegan healthfreaks want to continue enjoying the benefits of the sh!tloads of tax I pay for my guilty pleasures then shut the fsck up about the relatively minor cost associated with my sins.

0
0

It's about leadership

The "but there are billions of people in China" argument is asking the people of China and India to forgo comfortable shelter whilst you bask in the warmth of your inefficient patio heater. Understandably, they raise their middle finger to your insistence that the costs of reducing global warming fall upon them whilst you continue in the habits that made global warming a problem in the first place.

0
0

er no...

I wont shut up. Why? Because the taxes you pay do not come close to paying for the damage you and your friends cause with your selfish excesses.

Because the cost of those excesses will be borne by MY children, and YOU do not have the right to place that burden on them.

Thats why numb nuts.

God, I hope you didn't breed, the world needs to evolve and you and your kind are holding us back.

0
0
Anonymous Coward

Silly argument

Saying that patio heaters aren't relevant in the fight against global warming because China does XYZ is a stupid argument because British politicians can influence what Brits do, not really what Chinese people do. Patio heaters are very inefficient as all electric heaters are because they work by firing shedloads of electricity through a resistor which causes heat. They are an unnecessary luxury. If you think they're being miserable now imagine what they'll be like because half of England is flooded and suffering storms like the recent ones in Gloucester because some twats were too arrogant to turn their patio heaters off. Really.

0
0
Anonymous Coward

climate change threat 'exaggerated'?!

Yeah right, so I suppose that the recent floods in the UK were because someone left the gigantic tap running?!

The drought in the South of Europe, at the same time, was I presume just another coincidence.

Lets get real, the problem exists.

Although, Patio Heaters agreeably are not the fire breathing dragon and may be an exaggeration.

0
0

Rename them to 'Numpty Heaters'

They are only bought by numptys, usually for reasons of self-heating. They are therefore 'Numpty Heaters'.

Non numpties will of course realise that they are entirely unessesary in the same way that no one but a numpty *requires* a dishwasher or a tumble drier at home.

Comparing it to cars in China is daft. We all have a car each (practically) over here - its unreasonable to expect any less for our Chinese friends. Per head of population China is a low poluter - and thats the only sensible way to do the measurements.

We i the west should he helping China with its industrial design to ensure that they dont create the same poluting monsters that we have done over here. This help will come in the form of subsidies offered on the promise that they build their plants 'right' rather than 'cheaply'.

Irrespective of whether climate change is, or is not a myth, fossil fuels are a finite resource, and p1ssing them up the wall on numpty heaters is not a sensible use of that resource.

Nigel

0
0
Anonymous Coward

Others People Children

....boy oh oboy, am I fed up of do gooding parents whinging about what people alive today may inflict on *thier* childrens future!?

Why am i not allowed to live my life as I want to within the boundries of a *reasonably* demorcratic and free country with out the *child-gestapo* trying to impose some censorship on my lifestyle?

If you where so worried about bringing children into the world that you feel the need to impinge on other peoples life to make yourslef feel better and secure maybe you should have bothered, as if paranoia is genetic we will have a next generation of paranoid cosseted prima-donnas running the place (or are gaurdian and daliy mail readers already fulfilling that role)

and yes, i am an evil middle class single white male - who by popular oppion should be eraddicated for causing all the world ills!?

0
0
Anonymous Coward

Others People Children

....boy oh oboy, am I fed up of do gooding parents whinging about what people alive today may inflict on *thier* childrens future!?

Why am i not allowed to live my life as I want to within the boundries of a *reasonably* demorcratic and free country with out the *child-gestapo* trying to impose some censorship on my lifestyle?

If you where so worried about bringing children into the world that you feel the need to impinge on other peoples life to make yourslef feel better and secure maybe you should have bothered, as if paranoia is genetic we will have a next generation of paranoid cosseted prima-donnas running the place (or are gaurdian and daliy mail readers already fulfilling that role)

and yes, i am an evil middle class single white male - who by popular oppion should be eraddicated for causing all the world ills!?

0
0
Anonymous Coward

how many electric patio heaters have you seen?

They're gas mate!

Gas that could be methane collected from sustanable sourcesand burned to make CO2, and methane is a much worse greenhouse gas than CO2, and on average use a gas patio heater produces 35Kg of co2 per year, when your average car produces 100 times that! I have actavists tha jump on the band-wagon when they have absolutely no idea what they are talking about! get a life people!, Screw this i'm moving to brazil!

0
0
Anonymous Coward

Err... hello?

Patio heaters: you're trying to heat the outdoors

Think about if for a nanosecond

0
0

Well

It's another Daily Mail reader writing his little Register Blog: "why the hell should I put a jumper on? It's middle of winter and if I want to sit on my sofa burning off fossil fuels at a rate of knots because I'm too lazy to put a jumper on then I bloody well will! Sod everyone else!!!". You've got to feel pity for them really, too ignorant to scratch their own arses.

0
0

Moral Panic...

Read up on it all you freaks who want patio heaters and their benefactors consigned to the furthest recesses of Hell;

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moral_panic

Thanks...

0
0
Anonymous Coward

er no, no...

"Because the cost of those excesses will be borne by MY children, and YOU do not have the right to place that burden on them."

Says who? You seem to think you have the right to burden everyone else's children with your excesses... you almost certainly sat at a computer to type that, and then your message was passed across a variety of power sucking cables and routers to reach another set of oil guzzling servers at the other end which are running 24/7.

You'd have given up using the internet long ago if you really were a true patio heater hater. It's never too late...

0
0

Don't Panic!

We should try to be pragmatic about this. People want to be warm outside, which seems reasonable. Surely we can find a way to do this without wasting too much energy. Gas heaters were bad for this (the heat goes straight up), but I suspect the new infra-red lamps are much better. Perhaps the next type of heater will be better still.

This is supposed to be a civilised age, so I don't think we should deny each other any of the comforts we can enjoy. On the other hand, this is also an enlightened technological age, so we have a responsibility to make our comforts as efficient as possible.

You can help...

For the ecologists:

Help people to realise where they are harming the environment, and encourage them to adopt energy-saving solutions.

For the economists:

Help people to realise where they are wasting money on energy costs, and encourage them to adopt energy-saving solutions.

0
0
Anonymous Coward

Excellent article.

Well said!

:)

0
0
Anonymous Coward

Selfish Americans screw it up for all of us...

need I say more?

0
0
Bronze badge

Kill someone, subtract their carbon footprint from yours.

Please stop using the argument that your children will have to suffer our environmental sins. It's your choice to have them and you are responsible for all the damage they do in their lifetime. If you don't have children, they don't have a carbon footprint.

Have less children or adopt, then you can enjoy that patio heater, 4x4, foreign holiday knowing that in the long term you are doing your bit to reduce the human population.

0
0

Consistent

If she is lobbying loudly and persistently for shops and offices in London to switch their lights off when nobody is in the room/building, then it might also be reasonable for her to have a go at patio heaters. But I bet she isn't because a) no one gets any fun out of an empty office with lights blazing at 2am b) the CBI and various chambers of commerce would tell her to F*** off.

0
0

Unintended consequences

Are patio heaters bad? Or rather, is their use of fuel and production of CO2 etc to take the chill out of a Northern European day/evening bad? Well, it is certainly worse than staying cold. However, staying cold is not the only choice people have:

1) They could choose to go on holiday somewhere warm for "winter sun", or move to Spain for the mild climate. If patio heaters enable the northern summer to be extended, reducing travel or emigration to hot countries, perhaps they are a good thing?

2) six couples around a table outside a pub nursing a pint under the patio heater vs three couples in their separate centrally heated houses, in teeshirts, watching widescreen televisions: which evening uses less energy?

It seems a great waste of energy (ha!) to debate the moral quality of patio heaters when they are an end-stage good of an entire economy built upon the dissipation of fossil fuel capital as income....

0
0
Anonymous Coward

lol

Gloucester is flooded becouse their councels spent all their money on green initiatives instead of improving the drains and ensuring people didn't build in flood planes restoring old flood planes and generally doing things to stop flooding.

0
0

Unnecessary luxury indeed

Surely it's a no-brainer that patio heaters are a complete waste of money? All the heat, just radiating straight up and out into space. Meanwhile the overpriledged owner & guests huddle closely round it for a tiny amount of warmth, because if you stand more than two feet away you can't feel it (OK, so the more expensive ones manage up to five feet... but that's still not far).

If anyone out there is laughing at the stupid Brits and their patio heaters, its surely because we ever thought they were worth owning in the first place?

0
0

All these bloody enviro MENTALISTS

Great article,

Yawn I'm so tired of all these hippies trying to influence us into having our crap cars, having to clutter our kitchens with 50 bins for every different type of shite you want to throw out, having to pay an extra couple of quid at Kwick Fit to have your tyres "environmentally disposed", pay an extra fiver to have your carbon neutral electricity and gas, plant a forrest every time you want to hop in a plane, and sit and protest at every bloody street corner about how we're all going to die. And now they want me to sit and freeze in the beer garden whilst I eat my dinner and sip a few pints. If folk want to do their bit that's fine, but please do it quietly without trying to force all the rest of us to follow your fad (you could read fud here if you rather). These mentalists are having far to much influence on what we can do and then they treat you like dirt if you dare to stand against them.

Anyone fancy joining me in some ceremonial Tire burning!!?

0
0

opportunities

Yes but imagine all the new business opportunities in that "changing Landscape"

Peterborough on Sea ?

Hmmm... yeah.. has a kind of (cash register) ring about it.

;-)

0
0

Nuke patios

Of course, if all patio heaters were electric and all electricity was from nuclear power stations, then they'd be carbon neutral and the Mayor's office could presumably be recycled, since all it seems to do is bitch about carbon emissions. Oh, and spend insane amounts of money on bendy buses which kill (carbon neutral) cyclists.

And while I'm at it, what's the projected carbon footprint of the 2012 Olympics?

0
0
Silver badge

Gloucester was not special.

There were worse floods in 1047 and 1910, and in the late 1800s as well. The reason the last lot sticks out is because: it was recent, and they built houses on freaking FLOOD PLAINS.

They were NOT caused by global warming. They were NOT caused by some bloke sitting under a patio heater. They were caused by idiots at the planning department allowing other idiots to build on land that floods if you spit on it. I am sick to death of people claiming every natural event is caused by global warming. Three months ago they were saying that global warming would turn Britain in to a desert. Now it causes flood?

WHICH IS IT?!?

0
0

Environmentalism not the problem

Enviro-freaks are inappropriately blamed for all sorts of curmudgeonly attitudes.

I certainly don't count myself as an environmentalist, and I'm not about to seriously inconvenience myself to shave off micro-amounts of personal contributions to global warming. For example, I'm not going to shut off my computer to save the 1W difference between 'off' and 'deep sleep.' It's not worth the inconvenience. (Although it is worth knowing what uses energy without providing any benefit.)

The problem with patio heaters is not simply that they contribute to global warming. The problem is they do so in such a stupid and inefficient way, for very little actual benefit. A camp fire built on a platform 8 feet in the air would be equally idiotic. The idea that you can effectively heat the outdoors is just plain asinine.

Similarly, you don't need to be an environmentalist to recoil at daft consumers buying bottled water. The price of bottled water is often higher than petrol. Increasingly, bottled water is simply tap water. Shipping water from Switzerland to California is just plain stupid, regardless of whether you like the taste, or mistakenly believe that it's safer. Seriously, if you are drinking bottled water because you're afraid of terrorists tampering with the water supply, we've got to re-evaluate just how effective terrorism really is. (Is terrorism the new marketing?)

And of course, you don't need to be an environmentalist to curse the intellectually challenged consumers pouring money into SUVs. Are they bad for the environment? Sure. But that's not the biggest problem. As they are trucks, lower safety standards are applied, which means they can be produced with rigid, single piece chassis that are much cheaper to make than the sophisticated chassis of cars. SUVs are essentially really cheap vehicles with pimped out interiors. They are less safe for their occupants than cars, and they are less safe for everybody else on the road than cars.

"Gee honey, now that we have kids, we better upgrade to an SUV. We don't want our kids crushed under an SUV."

There's an arms war of gas guzzlers, propelled by people who think the narrow streets of London are appropriate places to drive a fat-assed truck. Obviously, the car makers love them: skirting safety standards means the profit margin is immense, as consumers are fooled into thinking of SUVs as status symbols signifying a higher than normal degree of disposable income, rather than a symbol of financial naiveté and a low IQ.

The real issue with 'environmental nannying' often has less to do with environmentalism than whether it's possible to legislate against stupidity.

The only crazy behaviour that seems specifically British is the increasing dependence on air conditioning, you know, for those times when the mercury climbs up above 22 degrees. But I can't get into that. Once you've seen your partner weakly crawling across the Sahara desert of a hardwood floor in a desperate bid to make it to the dog's water dish before expiring in the blistering 28 degree heat, you can only come to the conclusion that being unable to adapt to a pleasant summer day may very well be a genetic condition. People in other countries routinely adapt to temperatures from -50 to +50. Why can't the British adapt to variations of plus or minus 10 degrees? (Perhaps the same genetic disorder affects the sales of patio heaters?)

0
0
Anonymous Coward

We're all doomed!

If only those pesky dinosaurs and the pesky bacteria before them had learned to cut their carbon footprint, maybe the event of global warming wouldn't have been cyclical in this planet's eco/biological life-cycle.

Ho-hum.

0
0

Fucking hippies

I don't have a patio heater, but I'm off down the shops to get one right now. I was going to walk, but fuck it, think I'll take the 4x4.

Seriously, I cycle, walk, or use public transport to get around. I recycle stuff. I planted 9000 bastard trees earlier in the year, with my bare hands. My carbon footprint is bloody negative.

I am not going to be told that using a patio heater makes me some kind of criminal by a bunch of ill educated, hysterical middle class fucking hippies who think they are saving the world because they separate paper and plastic and then drive their kids to school every day.

These fuckwads should go do something positive if they want to help the environment, instead of standing around whining and trying to project their existential guilt on to everyone else. Seriously, plant some forest, get empowered, then there's no need for the weak and helpless feelings that give rise to this type of whining.

Any environmental damage I cause by using a patio heater will be well worth it just to rile these pathetic excuses for humanity and keep them out of my garden. Think of it as pest control.

0
0

Shad

Just a quick point, but quite a pertinent one given your obvious anti smoking stance,

let us offer a theoretical ideal that everybody who smokes in the UK gives up tomorrow. thats it no more smokers in the UK ever.

1. where does the treasury get the lost revenue in tobacco products tax from?

2. given that no one smokes anymore, who is going to refund the outlets who have stock they can't sell?

3. who is going to stump the bill for the mass increase in unemployment? as no one smokes, the staff involved in getting the smoker his smoke of choice are suddenly all unemployed - that's got to be ITRO a couple of hundred thousand people accross the UK

your answers to these questions would be appreciated - ta

and as we are supposed to be living in a tolerant and free society, please stop discriminating againt the smokers, if you don't like it quite simply stay away from the pub, beat the rush, because the government will go after beer soon enough

and yes I used to be a smoker, and don't mind my friends who smoke smoking infront of me.

0
0

Putting it all in context...

4 tonnes of CO2 a year is comparable with an average (about 40mpg) car covering 12,000 miles a year.

But its nothing compared with cattle.

A cow lets off between 100 to 200 litres of methane a day - that's about 1,000 litres (a cubic metre) a week. And since 1 cubic metre of methane contains 0.49kg of carbon, that's about 25kg a year.

But there are about 2 million head of cattle in the UK, so between them that's 50,000 tonnes of carbon every year.

And methane a much greater global-warming effect than CO2 - about 20-25 times worse over 100 years, and 60-70 times worse over 20 years.

So never mind the patio heaters - we've got to stop the cows farting before it's too late.

0
0
Anonymous Coward

Lets poke the greenies with a stick

Nice, an article designed purely to boil the blood of muesli eaters everywhere.

(The pedant in me has to point out that 48 000 new cars roll onto the streets of the US every single day of the year. So leave them Chinese alone to drive to their sweatshops).

FD

0
0

Deal with *stupid* patio heater use

Yesterday afternoon, walking through town with an air temperature in the mid-high 60s F, I passed a pub with tables on the street and a long line of these heaters spewing out more heat. No matter whether you think these things are a threat to the environment, whoever made the decision to switch those things on yesterday is too stupid for words.

0
0

Well what did you expect...

you sent the smokers outside, now the pubs are trying to stay in business by offering them an enviroment where they wont freeze in our tropical climate.

Sour grapes to the people who expected the smokers to all just give up, not satisfied with trying to make the smokers social outcasts, they are now accusing them of "Destroying the planet".

0
0

context

@silly argument - arent most patio heaters run on gas bottles?

Anyway, whatever you feel of patio heaters, a point i took from the article is that there are many things that could and should be tackled first. Like the large industrial polution that goes on every day here and in the rest of the world.

0
0
Bronze badge

Wusses

Why oh why oh why won't these wusses stop bleating on about global warming? I'm all for hot summers in the UK. And if the coastline changes a bit, so what? It will just stimulate local economies to build elsewhere. Shit happens. My guess is that we have much bigger things to worry about, like an asteroid strike or some nutter getting hold of genetically engineered viruses.

0
0

Page:

This topic is closed for new posts.