Again, in its entriety, because its the best damn diatribe I have read on here for a long time! And if its any consolation, I hate fax machines. Yes they were technologically advanced, now they are just a substandard method for moving blurry (and still somerimes curly) paper around the world, rendeirng it illegible and necessitating the phone call to clarify, that would have done the job in the first place!
And just in case the image might come out legible at the other end, it sucks through 3.2 offset and wonky pages at once in its "new improved sheet feed" so I then have to manually feed it one page at a time, wasting yet more time. And they are only capable of beeping at ultrasonic, ear splitting frequencies.
And my colleagues here actually still print emails and give them to eachother in a kind of homage to faxes. We even have amazing fax servers here to cope with 10 lines, and what do these servers do? PRINT THE GOD DAMN FAXES!
I hate printers, fax machines and stupid paper-wasting eco-oblivious technophobes.
I love Steve.
"I hate printers. I have always hated them. People are always asking me to fix them. I'm a software person. How the f*ck should I know how to fix a printer ? Countless code hours wasted staring into the mysterious guts of some godawful office equipment filled with springs and belts and tiny things that break off when you look at them, and then won't go back on, so you have to lie to the service engineer, when the lazy bugger actually gets around to turning up.
No, I shall no longer stand for it. Currently I do this :
Supplicant : "Hey Steve, do you know what's wrong with the printer ?"
Me : "Yes, it's shit."
Supplicant : "??!!"
I shall enjoy being able to say "Yes, it's poisoning us all slowly to death, throw the hateful thing out of the window and have done with it."
I hate printers."