Surely we should be told which El Reg hacks are playing which charactors... or is it up to us readers?

Needless to say, here is what mine would have been: Flash Orama.

without Lesters Friday pr0nucopia column? ;)

I never entered mine, but it would have been Fiver Cockels.

i love the cowboy in the background!

classic work fellas =)

I'll never slot a blade into its enclosure with a straight face again :o)

Just what would BoFH and PFY say about the shinaniganis in a server room?

I mean apart from get the cameras out for a bit of impromtu video piracy?

especially when the participants are not wearing antistatic straps

coat please jeeves

as Duke Harwich had no chance

Seconded, thirded and fourthed - nice to end an otherwise tedious week laughing my ar$e off :-)

Love to see Simon's take on this ...

I didn't originally include my non nom de sex as it really didn't seem to go with the nom de sex. Consequently I ended up coming 10th on the "Pour femme" list (Fluffy Bristol - yes really!). A "respectable" showing I think (by Conservative byelection definitions obviously) of which I am extremely...um... undecided about. Given the lack of real names on the shortlist you have to wonder how many other potential register pornstars would give prospective punters a shock when they got the video back and fired it up.

(BTW if the Register's new money making scheme is looking for material then I'm open to negotiations over http://www.fantasticpoems.com/Poems/Father-XXXmas.html . Although clearly I'm now going to have to think long and hard over which role I should be playing!)

"Just what would BoFH and PFY say about the shinaniganis in a server room?"

I reckon they'd say "What the hell are shinaniganis? Are they from Shinanigania? And more to the point, what the hell are they doing in my server room?" :-)

Sadly, I missed this survey as I've got a great one from a friend of mine:

Tiger O'Toole

Ah, but maybe later on they're wearing antistatic strap-ons?

Coat? Check.

Exit? Check.

Not within the rules unfortunately, but Kenny Everett's pneumatic (if hirsute) starlet Cupid Stunt always did it for me...

The only thing that would improve your pr0n cover is if instead of stars, you'd thrown in an El Reg vulture silhouette or two.

Paris on that cover... sure she's too dum to work in a server room, but surely the staff need a client/victim to tie up for the bondage scene where they torture the user with toys...

You sound quite the expert! do they always have a scene like that? :-)

sorry, my bad, had an attack of FFS (Fat Finger Syndrome)

1 refresher course in how to type 101 booked, head hanged in shame.

I think my first pet was either a gerbil called Fidget or my cat, Garfield who was stolen by my then neighbor!

Fidget Farm soounds better.