Don't NASA have a spare one they can buy? Theirs are obviously quite good!

With her success at budgeting the Olympics I think she could get the whole kaboodle to Mars for £3.57 (excluding VAT obviously).

With fires in southern Europe and floods in dear ol' Blighty, immigrant welfare, bloated national health schemes and an ever-multiplying number of 'directives' to implement, Europe can afford a jaunt to the Red Planet?

Here's a slightly modified plan - with a much better potential ROI: Have ESA find out how much it would cost to build a 200kg rover capable of trundling over European surface with a 16kg instrument package, searching for signs of intelligent life in Brussels.

Based upon reliable information provided by the Beagle 2 mission.....

Before the landing: £100M

After the landing: £1 (scrap metal - buyer collects)

Just send up a surplus rocket with a beer can on the end. That'll save everyone a lot of money on a project with limited outcomes:

a) crash on impact (see Before and After above)

b) burn up in atmosphere of Earth or Mars

c) completely miss Mars and be returned to Earth in 21,000 by angry Greenpeace style aliens.