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back to article Crazed NZ fanboy mows down churchgoer

A 58-year-old woman is in an Auckland hospital with "life threatening" injuries after being hit by car as she left the city's Methodist Mission Church, 3 News reports. The driver of the vehicle reportedly "deliberately drove" at the church after jumping several red lights at speed, narrowly missing several pedestrians. …

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Rob
Bronze badge

Says it all really....

...."as police attempted to extricate him from his motor, he "clutched his laptop computer and screamed the name of Apple's CEO Steve Jobs". A fireman later told 3 News "he believed the man had a mental illness".

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And in related news.....

The Methodist church of New Zealand breaks it to their congregations that Steve Jobs isn't actually God.

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Who believed what?

I'm not sure what's meant here...

<quote>... and as police attempted to extricate him from his motor, he "clutched his laptop computer and screamed the name of Apple's CEO Steve Jobs". A fireman later told 3 News "he believed the man had a mental illness".<unquote>

Did the fireman say the policeman believed the driver had a mental illness, or did the fireman say that the driver believed Steve Jobs had a mental illness...?

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Gil

Mental Illness

Apple fanboys in mental illness shocker!

In other news, the sky is blue, the iPhone sucks, and the Israelis and the Palestinians fell out a bit.

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No way!

This has to be a windup?

..... or we have just received proof that Apple fanboys are raving madmen?

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Apple or PC laptop???

Is there a correlation between yelling Jobs' name and the mental illness? Had his Safari browser crashed one too many times trying to run Java applets and caused him to snap? Is there a direct correlation between mental illness and owners of Apple products? Inquiring minds must know.

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Silver badge

Curiouser & curiouser

I'd REALLY like to know what Apple did (or didn't do) to you guys at El Reg.

Almost any obscure item which may (or may not) have the most tenuous links to Macs is headlined to assist you in slating Apple, the iphone, Steve Jobs & the Mac world in general.

Whatever it was, live with it.

You're beginning to act like a dumped girlfriend.Hell hath no fury... etc., etc.

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Anonymous Coward

This is a Joke, shirley?

I seriously thought this was a joke, but it actually isn't. I found confirmation and a video on the TV3 website.

http://www.tv3.co.nz/Home/Video/NZCityVideo/tabid/361/Default.aspx?articleID=31196

Now do they think he is mentally ill because he mowed down a churchgoer or because he was using a mac?

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Ahha

Nice one Lester - no chance of "Where's the I.T. angle" whingers now. Steve Jobs has his uses eh ;-)

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Gav

Windows

The church clearly provoked him with giant stained-glass Windows.

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Finally

"...believed the man had a mental illness"

Well, that's what the rest of us have been saying for years about the Apple mob. Now it's out in the open. And they've started attacking other faiths to booth. Time to head for the hills...?

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The Master

So clearly they've connected the iPhone to the Archangel network, then.......

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That explains a whole lot

So, the London/Glasgow wannabombers were nothing to do with Al Qaida at all, they were simply crazed Apple fanboys trying to martyr themselves to the One True Way, Jobs' Jihadis!

That would explain why they couldn't muster the tech skills to make a decent bomb then.

"Hey Abdul, it looks shiny, so it must be the best bomb ever, (InshJobs)!"

And maybe the guy who caught fire at Glasgow was just trying to recharge his iBook off the lighter socket, eh ?

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Anonymous Coward

god was calling him

Steve Jobs must have whispered to the fella that he should hit the Methodist Mission Church since they use dark methods and are using Vista :)

shame, I used to live quite close to this church, in central auckland.

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Looking for the real Jesus Phone

So when will you become more reponsible journalists? This poor boy must have been confused by your ample iPhone coverage. His fruitless efforts to acquire a Jesus Phone had him criss-crossing Auckland from chapel to church, which clearly drove him to distraction. The inevitable disaster was then but a step away.

Please start an appeal on the site for a rescue fund for the 'Victims of Jobs', both young and old, deluded and unhinged. Maybe Steve will be able to contribute a few cents from the proceeds of his illegally backdated stock options (did ya see him get slammed up for theft, did ya?).

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Dontcha...

wish... no wait, wrong one.

...just hate religious fanatics? Can we please declare holy war on Apple now? Well, as soon as someone defines "we" and comes up with a suitably catchy group name.

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Jobhad

Have apple Fanboys now started a Jehad agains all that do not worship at the Alter of Jobs?

iPostle's of Job's?

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Dare I say it?

Apple: Think Crazy

Apple: Think NOT THE STRAIGHTJACKET

I'm certain I could come up with hundreds more, but it's 3AM and I can't be bollocked to do it now.

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Anonymous Coward

is this for real...?

hmm i can't find any reference to Apple or Jobs on that 3 News article. Is that last part something just added by The Register for good measure...?

Oh well, if it is real; then it's hilarious (apart from the injuries caused of course) and if it isn't real it's still hilarious as it would be just sooo The Register to make that part up just to stick the word "Apple" into it's article...

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Silver badge

fanboy?

Maybe the church told him that that "Jesus" & "Phone" were not Apple trademarks...

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Anonymous Coward

Ooops found it...

Ah - now i found it. It is real. Oh my god, poor crazy fanboy sap...!

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Anonymous Coward

Apple products need to be upgraded to a Class B substance

Since if now seems obvious that ownership of any Apple product can lead to serious bouts of insanity shouldn't these be reclassified? I would say Class B at least. They seem to have a major effect on their owners and seem to be addictive in the extreme.

It is easy to identify one of these addicts in a crowd as they are always either alone or else surrounded by people who are dressed just like they are but none of them are talking to each other. They wait, listening, for someone to utter the any one of the words "Apple, Mac, iPhone, Windows, Microsoft, Linux, OS" (and a great many others). Once the trigger word is heard they will pounce on the unsuspecting victims (this is obviously what happened in New Zealand) with the aim of converting them to the Church of Jobs. They will argue, beg plead, and in some cases even use violence to get their point across (this is not normally a problem as most of them are weedy to the extreme) but they almost inevitably get deserted as anyone within earshot of their "We Love Jobs" sermon soon either migrates to the nearest pub, or else goes home, locks their doors and hides under the covers.

As can be seen these symptoms are very similar to those caused by cannabis use. The smug grin and tendancy to fits of semi-hysterical laughter over something thet really isn't funny or even vaguely interesting. They have the same bouts of acne, eat too much pizza, and strangely have one bicep that is much bigger than the other. Long term addicts tend to have sleeping disorders, suffer from Manic-Depression and can bore a potato to death at 100ft.

They will generally not hassle anyone if they have their "special" white earphones on but this is no guarantee as some of them are sneaky and just pretend to be listening to music, especially on trains and buses.

Please treat these poor unfortunates with compassion but under no circumstances engage them in conversation as you will need to go bungee jumping afterwards just to bring your level of sanity back to normal.

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Apple al-Qaeda?

I always thought there was something fanatical about Apple fans. Is this the start of a new wave of quasi-religious extremism?

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@ Ted Treen

I don't think Apple did anything to upset the reg - they're just enjoying winding up all the fanboys!

(And I'm enjoying watching it)

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Bronze badge

"Muntered"

I love the last eyewitness comment. This young girl describes what happened and says how he hit the building...

Apparently he "just got muntered".

Not as muntered as his car, or the poor woman he hit, but muntered nonetheless.

My respect for Kiwis has just gone right up.

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JP

Surprised

They haven't found a copy of Carmageddon on his laptop and blamed this all on computer games yet...

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Anonymous Coward

Well that's done the Apple's reputation in.

The next time an Apple fanboy tells me his Apple doesn't crash, I'm going to point him at this story.

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Rob
Bronze badge

Only just stopped laughing...

...."and the Israelis and the Palestinians fell out a bit."

Well it tickled me a lot and it wasn't even Apple bashing :)

"Well, as soon as someone defines "we" and comes up with a suitably catchy group name." - How about Cider Makers (geddit, Apple bashers.... where's my coat gone!)

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CJ

Carmageddon on his laptop

JP: "They haven't found a copy of Carmageddon on his laptop and blamed this all on computer games yet..."

Don't be silly, you can't play games on Macs ;)

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Title

"They haven't found a copy of Carmageddon on his laptop and blamed this all on computer games yet..."

Carmagedon doesn't work on Macs............wait, is that an engine revving up i hear?

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link to 3News story

http://www.tv3.co.nz/News/Story/tabid/209/articleID/31196/Default.aspx

PS. the word is "munted"

PPS. fish and chips cost six dollars fifty :o)

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great comments

Damn some of the comments today make hilarious reading! :)

Steve, your comment was in such bad taste ...... but soo soo funny :)

I'm amazed at the low number of fanboys responding so far, but then again we already know they are a little slower then the average person :)

Oh sorry didn't realise, its 1:15pm, prayer time, they will all by lying down on motorways right now praying to Steve Jobs.

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Re: curiouser and curioser

"Almost any obscure item which may (or may not) have the most tenuous links to Macs is headlined to assist you in slating Apple, the iphone, Steve Jobs & the Mac world in general.

Whatever it was, live with it."

For goodness sake its a pretty clear link between apple and the incident this one, does it actually need to be steve jobs in the car for it to be relevant or what?

Or wait, maybe its a crazed el reg reader trying to provoke debate on this subject...

What i'm fed up with is fan bois who aren't willing to listen to reason, and rant about subjects not related to the article in hand.

Why don't you take your gorgeous looking but useless iphone put it on vibrate and stick it... etc.

Hmm maybe iphones do have a use after all...

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Anonymous Coward

Am I the only one thinking...

... WTF!?

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Beware the man of one iBook

"Today also my complaint is bitter, his hand is heavy in spite of my groaning. Oh, that I knew where I might find him, that I might come even to his seat! I would lay my case before him and fill my mouth with arguments. I would learn what he would answer me, and understand what he would say to me. Would he contend with me in the greatness of his power? No; he would give heed to me. There an upright man could reason with him, and I should be acquitted for ever by my judge."

Job, Ch. 23, v i - vii

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A-ha!

Rob: "Well, as soon as someone defines "we" and comes up with a suitably catchy group name." - How about Cider Makers (geddit, Apple bashers.... where's my coat gone!)

Has to be something more sinister... how about al-Saidr? I'll start on the underground bunkers.

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Anonymous Coward

Fanbois gone?

I have noticed with the last few Apple bashing articals the Fanbois have been rather silent. Perhaps we have driven them off...

Perhaps they have decided to start there own site (iReg) so that they can talk utter drivel about how good Jobs is and how there site looks so much better?

P.S. I do love the fact that you can put an i infront of almost anything and take the piss out of Apple Geeks (Or should that be the iPiss out of Apple iGeeks)

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This post has been deleted by its author

Ah...

Somebody must have mentioned the whole Satan, Eve and the apple story and he misheard. Clearly he thought they were implying that Jobs is Satan.

Those christians can move quickly enough when a lethal weapon is coming towards them can't they? Not that I'd...know.

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Wait a sec...

You mean Steve Jobs isn't Satan? That's news to me.

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Silver badge

Mental Stability

Psycho Mac Fanboy? I thought the terms were inclusive, as in "Mac Fanboy" == "Psycho".

Maybe he ran like that due to being unable to play Carmaggeddon in his Mac to begin with! ;)

Truth is, I know few Mac Fanboys. Only one of them is sane, the other ones are just too damn mental.

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RE: Wait a sec...

No. Bill Gates is Satan, Steve Jobs is iSatan. Much the same but wares black polonecks.

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Jim

Re: Fanbois gone?

What's the matter, ragging on Apple no fun if nobody bothers to get upset about it?

Also, true to form in the comments section on El Reg, I can't find any reference to the manufacturer of the laptop the nutter was holding but everyone has just assumed it was an iLaptop. It always amazes me how many people here judge based on their own assumptions, sometimes even when reading the article properly (or other comments) shows those assumptions to be erroneous.

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@ Zarnitoop

"I don't think Apple did anything to upset the reg - they're just enjoying winding up all the fanboys!"

I think that should read ".. a few fanboys" the rest of us are just watching the Windoze fanboys trying to come up with even smarter comments.

However what none of those fanboys has appreciated is that we don't know that he actually had an apple laptop. He may well have been cursing a bill gates box and threatening to switch to steve jobs.

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You've all got it wrong

Nowhere does it say he was using an Apple laptop - you're all making an assumption. Maybe he was holding a Windows laptop and believed that the church was converting from Windows to Apple, hence the screaming about Steve Jobs? Can anyone confirm what sort of laptop it was?

Isn't it sad that a woman gets run down and a church gets rammed and we wonder things like what sort of laptop the madman used...?

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Jim

My bad...

watched the footage and it is actually an iLaptop.

Still wonder how many others checked before posting?

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Anonymous Coward

Apple Fanboys?

I find it quight funny winding up any Fanboys. Apple or Windows or Linex or... Personaly I Own a Windows PC and an Apple, but I consider them both to be tools. Its the Apple fanboys asuming that just because we have a go at them we must love somthing else.

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JJ

Video

Watching the video from about a minute in shows not only that the laptop is some flavour of Mac, but also you can hear the comments from the loony - they don't exactly sound anti-Apple: quote "Thank you Steve Jobs. I have a Mac!". There's also some other stuff about evil and words I didn't catch.

Clearly the bloke was a nutter but there was a definite fanboi slant to the madness.

I just hope it isn't catching.

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Anonymous Coward

Violent Video Games!

It's quite obvious... He wanted to play Carmageddon on his laptop, but since he was using a Mac, he failed. That caused him to use the more high-res "Real World" version.

Violent Video Games Save Lives! (If you have a PC.)

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al-Saidr

> Rob: "Well, as soon as someone defines "we" and comes up with a suitably catchy group name." - How about Cider Makers (geddit, Apple bashers.... where's my coat gone!)

> Has to be something more sinister... how about al-Saidr? I'll start on the underground bunkers.

think the al-Saidr PR division should be called ROTTAN CORE or

R ational

O rganisation

T hat

T hink

A pple

N ews

C overage

O verwelms

R eality

E veryday

"..responsibility for the videos recently posted to youtube depicting the torture of 5 generations of a family of iPods and there newborn iPhone with 80Grit sand paper and soot, has been claimed by the ROTTAN CORE the PR Devision of Al-Saidr... reaction to the news in the macfanboy community has lead to an increase in the threat level, with all fanboys following the emergency SMUGCUN 7 protocol..."

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