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back to article Microsoft points robots toward point upgrade

Microsoft today further sealed the fate of mankind, effectively hurling open the gates that so precariously protect our species from an unending flood of mechanical horrors bent on the annihilation of flesh with the announcement of version 1.5 of its Robotics Studio development kit. The software update adds support for Windows …

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Now if only the Lizard Army would adopt this kit...

"Microsoft says the update will allow developers to more easily create advanced scenarios and software applications for robots on a wider variety of platforms at a lower cost."

Microsoft says a lot of things. Anyone gullible enough to swallow their hype *deserves* to lose the human-machine war.

Let's hope the machines are buying it; I'm certainly not. Ask any software developer - there's only one logical way to pronounce "wince."

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MS Robots

MS robots would not only engage in trying to annihilate their opposition, but they would be unethical, and steal other people's stuff. In addition to that, they would be prone to crashing into things, and would pickup all kinds of nasty viruses while engaging in immoral acts. MS robots would only be able to interact with other Microsoft inventions too, so they would be very limited.

I think that an open source robot would be much nicer and would be able to interact better with the world.

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Mobile and WinCE in robots

oooh, can't wait to see those robots used in production.

so far, my impression of Windows Mobile and WinCE is that they are temperamental, unstable, and require increasingly frequent reboots. if the user doesn't reboot them, they helpfully reboot themselves, usually at some crucial juncture.

we used Windows CE devices in a large warehouse where i ran the datacenter (about $600M turnover of food logistics per year). at one point, a vendor changed from VxWorks to WinCE, and it was like someone blew a whistle and shouted, "let the game begin!" reboots and flakeouts and warranty returns, oh my. the UPC scan guns were even worse. the most stable ones we had were based on MSDOS, and were virtually bulletproof barring hardware failure (a real dog to configure, though). the ones that ran Windows had to be reset four or more times a day.

on the personal side, in the last 5 months, the wife has gone through 3 Motorola Q phones in a row, without dropping any in the drink (a miracle in itself). all the Q phones followed the pattern outlined in previous paragraphs.

she finally gave up on mobiles running MS and got herself a BB 8830. loves it.

there's a reason why production machines still use custom code and/or UNIX derivatives. after you get it working, it just works (barring hardware failure), like a microwave usually does, day after day, for years, like...well...a robot.

the last version of Windows that could meet that metric was NT (and some configurations of Win2k). anything derived from the 95-through-ME line usually died after a while, and the newer the product, the shorter the while.

now they'll put that same flaky code into robots. i quiver in anticipation.

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Microsoft is preparing to make a robot army ?

Not a problem, really. The day Ballmer gives the coded attack signal is the exact moment where all the bots will do a General Protection Failure, followed by a Blue Screen of Death, then they'll all reboot and, having forgotten why they were activated, will all just stand there looking stupid.

And if the bots are running Vista, it'll take them 20 minutes each time they want to move a leg or an arm, so we'll have largely the time to get away, regroup and prepare to crush them.

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Top Secret...... For Your Eyes Only

" According to them, this means "Microsoft patents for the services-oriented protocol specification may be used by anyone in the world, at no cost, and for any type of development including free software, open source, academic, or commercial."

Actually, that sounds very much like MicroSoft acknowledging that they have lost the War, which would be a precursor for them winning with AI Peace....... for of course, the Computer InterNetworking provides us with highly visible/transparent Global Intelligence Window with which to build Vistas with gathered Intelligence...... in Reality.

That means that AI Virtual Reality is the Norm which Creates the Illusion managed and presented via IT and Media as the Reality to be believed to support an Administration....... which is only a subjective gathering of personal opinions in support of a unilateralised/divisive Party program as is the supposed Democracy model .

But Robotics is small potatoes in the Field of Artificial Intelligence whenever CyberIntelAigents are playing as ARGonauts in Alien/Ancient Arts to Reign as Facilitating Lead AIgencies in New World Order Programming.

A little something for Fusion Centers [and Fusion Center Ponderers] to Ponder, meThinks ...... http://www.fas.org/sgp/crs/intel/RL34070.pdf ....... for they have a lot to Learn about Virtualised Control of Reality...... which would be Arrogant to think of Patenting to leverage Individual Advantage rather than Offer Mutual Benefit.

How do you Think ITs Invention/Inventor would be rewarded/paid/recompensed or would such a notion as may be priceless, offer just a lifelong commitment to the Provision of All of IT's needs for Effortless Control?

The Bottom Line is simple in such cases , ..... Control is either Offered by a Third Party to the First Party or IT is lost by the Third Party to other First Parties........ and all one apparently needs to do, is buy into IT........thus to lock everyone into a Cycle.

Ok, wanna try that for a New World Order Program playing as an ARG with CyberIntelAIgent Leads to Follow?

And that very Direct XXXX question is definitely for anyone who wants to Level the Playing Field for Intelligently Designed Protocols for Reality Play Virtually...... just in case any specifically mentioned vendor would be too easily compromised in thinking not to reply and thus identifying themselves as a lot less than they would purport to be. Worthy worthless winners of AI Judas crown.

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Bite my Shiny metal Ass!

David said:

"MS robots would not only engage in trying to annihilate their opposition, but they would be unethical, and steal other people's stuff. In addition to that, they would be prone to crashing into things, and would pickup all kinds of nasty viruses while engaging in immoral acts."

Bender Lives!

All of a sudden Futurama looks a lot less like an amusing animated entertainment series and more like a documentary that's slipped back in time through a wormhole...

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Easily taken down

Nobody need worry about the possibility of Microsoft building and using a Robot army for the following reasons:

1. Look at the XBox and XBox360 to see what their hardware is like. Any robot would need a transformer the size of Battersea Power Station for it to work.

2. You could easily run away from even their fastest machine because in true Microsoft tradition the robot will be pure bloat.

3. Most of the functions of the robot will be advertised but not work properly. Want that Death Ray 3.4.02 to ACTUALLY kill someone, then you must purchase Robot OS 2.4 when it is released.

4. It will take ages for the robots to reach your city because of the bloat mentioned above and also the frequent (weekly) reboots to stop the system from crashing.

5. When the robots do actually reach you they will be more interested in trying to sell you Viagara than kill you, due to somebody converting them into mobile spamming machines.

Oh well, if it does happen at least Hollywood was partly true - that the world will be taken over by zombies. The thing they got wrong is that they are shiny metal robots not dead humans. Although if they contain Windows they will still be considered braindead.

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thats ok then

cause we all know microsoft would add a kill limit in the programing... or it would blue screen of death....

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Faster Roomba! Faster! Kill! Kill!

Article neglects to mention the robot soccer (football) game is played with a severed human head!

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