Paris in the Spring Time/Quantum Leap Zone.
""But, not wanting to let the side down, we at El Reg will continue with all the Paris coverage you could possibly need."
I'm sure that there must be a Register stalwart would could ably ensure the Coverage of Ms Hilton was a Vital rehabilitation and reprogramming.
"Who is this drunken slut bimbo you mention called "Paris Hilton?" ..... I think that's you off her Xmas list, Morely Dotes. Not a SMART Move when a woman is Hunting... "But, not wanting to leave the men out of her big comeback chat, Hilton added that the husband of her dreams "is out there somewhere"."
So all you Viking Stallions and Arabian warriors....SMARTen Up your Acts. Paris is looking for a dreamer who is out there somewhere.
IT could be you! B-)
If she is a Quick Learner, IT would suggest that she is XXXXStreamly SMART2. Slow Starter, Quick at the Finish would be Perfect for Some.
Now such with such skills would be a potent viable weapon, if militarised and/or trained in the Most Mythical and Mystical of Mysterious Arts ...... Money no Obstacle, to be sure, to be sure .:-)