Paris Hilton says jail term has changed her
Alastair Dodd
STOP covering the vacuous tallentless waste of protoplasm #
Posted Thursday 28th June 2007 11:57 GMT
Please. Then maybe she'll go away and we can get on with important things like slagging of the rubbish London 2012 logo.
On a serious note seriously it's not a tech story - it's not even a proper news story and I for one am so damn sick of the Paris coverage I'm going to vomit.
Anonymous Coward
What she's learnt #
Posted Thursday 28th June 2007 12:09 GMT
Is that Dad's money can't get you out of everything.
Well it's a start.
John Williams
No more #
Posted Thursday 28th June 2007 15:22 GMT
I understand that a lot of news stories you publish are not IT related but are just too good to ignore. However, and I think I echo most readers sentiments here, we are not interested about Paris bloody Hilton. Writing anything about her just lowers yourself to the level of Hello and OK type trash. Please stop...
Jason
Title #
Posted Thursday 28th June 2007 15:22 GMT
"But, not wanting to let the side down, we at El Reg will continue with all the Paris coverage you could possibly need."
Please don't....
Ed Mozley
What about Michael Moore? #
Posted Thursday 28th June 2007 15:22 GMT
Why was he sidelined so we could listen to this nonsense?!
Lloyd
Agreed #
Posted Thursday 28th June 2007 15:22 GMT
It's not a tech story, it's not even a story about someone with an IQ higher than 50, just ignore this car crash of a human being and focus on the important things in life.
Anonymous Coward
RE: Stop... #
Posted Thursday 28th June 2007 15:22 GMT
When I don't want to read an article about Paris Hilton, I tend not to click on links with her name in the title. Practice selective clicking, it's good for you!
Alex
23 days without email would KILL me. #
Posted Thursday 28th June 2007 15:22 GMT
Its good to see the Reg following the tried and true media track of a stroy about Paris Hilton immediately followed by some dweeb banging on about how they are sick of reading about her. I for one, can't read enough about her. I think she is really hot, sounds quite bright and I really like her album. I'd be happy if there were a great many more girls around the place who were just like her.
Then again, I am not a sexually repressed virgin, so I am not afraid to say that.
Mike Campbell
Sigh. #
Posted Thursday 28th June 2007 15:22 GMT
Why doesn't someone do something about this talentless wench who keeps imposing herself on our variosu media outlets?
She's got a crap nose, crap tits, and a face which screams "SLAP ME I'M A DICK". She's got the personality of a Farley's rusk, the charisma of a rotweiller's bottom, and the intelligence of the sparrow that just flew into our window.
In short, she's a blight on the gene pool and should be removed from the evolutionary process.
Nik Peltekakis
Eye #
Posted Thursday 28th June 2007 15:22 GMT
dont watch TV. I thankfully dont know about all this; and I feel much better for it!
Ignorance in this case is bliss!
NP
Anonymous Coward
Not another Paris Hilton story! #
Posted Thursday 28th June 2007 15:22 GMT
Aren't there any more interesting stories? Such as the Spice Girls reuni
Arghhhhh!
More Paris Hilton please!
Michael Sheils
You are letting the side down #
Posted Thursday 28th June 2007 15:22 GMT
"But, not wanting to let the side down, we at El Reg will continue with all the Paris coverage you could possibly need."
Don't you understand the exact amount of coverage we need about this oxygen thief is ZERO.
The only time I want to read about this person is the story that involves her, a wrecked car and permanent disfigurement.
Jason Croghan
I agree about dropping this ****..... #
Posted Thursday 28th June 2007 15:22 GMT
Ya these Paris stories are going a little OTT lately. I mean even if the cause is that El Reg's editor happens to be a big "fan" of our little stropy heiress there is absolutely no need to report on what she had for breakfast every day!
Dan
Breast awareness?! #
Posted Thursday 28th June 2007 15:22 GMT
"raise awareness for many great causes" including breasts"
No change there then...
Andrew Moore
What's she's learnt #
Posted Thursday 28th June 2007 15:22 GMT
That not even great-granddads money can get you out of everything
Konstantinos
Swallow? #
Posted Thursday 28th June 2007 15:29 GMT
i bet she had worst on that swallowing subject
Chris Pasiuk
Learned? Heh, not nearly enough. #
Posted Thursday 28th June 2007 15:29 GMT
I work for a county corrections department and I'm telling you from what I know she got preferrential treatment from day one. The female population is about 1/10th the size of the male in any jail, and she was kept in solitary the whole time. This being her 2nd offense on a DUI, a mere 45 days is the absolute minimum for most. Here in Pennsylvania, it's usually 4 months manditory for a 2nd offense within 10 years. If she was able to hang out with her fellow inmates she would have an opportunity to learn something if not the very least that she's more fortunate than some and to gain a bit more humility. Lady Justice is supposed to be blind and to weigh the punishment with the crime. With her, Justice was peaking.
I've known dogs smarter than Paris Hilton... and in tribute to blue-collar comdian Ron White, "You can't fix stupid"
Glyn Heatley
Mystery Meat? #
Posted Thursday 28th June 2007 15:29 GMT
The tortured starlet said she struggled to enjoy the "jail slop" food served up. Apparently the baloney sandwiches she was given for lunch contained "mystery meat" which she described as "really scary".
I never heard Her Royal Trampiness complain about all of the "mystery meat" she was getting in that video. I thought she said something like, "give me more you Viking Warrior" and "give it to me like an Arab Stallion". Sounds like she likes a bit of mystery meat to me.
Ian Matthews
Mystery meat hard to swallow ? #
Posted Thursday 28th June 2007 15:29 GMT
I doubt she's had that trouble before
Chris
Damn right it's not a tech story! #
Posted Thursday 28th June 2007 15:29 GMT
And that's why the Reg added the "Entertainment" section to Odds & Sods.
Please continue covering stupid Yankee sods as well as sods like Campbell from your side of the pond. The biting sarcasm makes it readable and allows me an outlet for socialization with the non-technical world.
*slithers back under his rock*
Gav
Register becomes Heat #
Posted Thursday 28th June 2007 15:34 GMT
When did The Register become one of those worthless rags fixated on 'celeb' stories? Is there an IT angle to this pointless non-entity that non-one else has noticed yet?
Dillon Pyron
Jail house conversions #
Posted Thursday 28th June 2007 15:59 GMT
Jail house conversions are a dime a dozen. They usually last about 6 months after getting out of the jug. Having served the tremendous term of 23 days, I'm willing to put her conversion at around 2 weeks. The only ones I've seen stick are some Muslim conversions and death row inmates.
Pete
Please stop... #
Posted Thursday 28th June 2007 15:59 GMT
This is an IT news site, not Heat magazine.
Morely Dotes
Who is Paris Hilton? And it's buffalo. #
Posted Thursday 28th June 2007 15:59 GMT
Who is this drunken slut bimbo you mention called "Paris Hilton?" Other than having been born wealthy, what has she ever done that is worthy of being mentioned in the news?
An the "mystery meat" she got in the pokey is called "buffalo" because that's the critter who grew it.
Martin H Watson
More Paris please #
Posted Thursday 28th June 2007 20:58 GMT
She's so banal that I find her entertaining. She may be from the depths of a murky gene puddle, but she makes me laugh. You couldn't make up her life.
Anonymous Coward
And what about the "I've never done drugs" claim? #
Posted Thursday 28th June 2007 20:58 GMT
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/0628071parishilton1.html
Gaz
What has she ever done? #
Posted Thursday 28th June 2007 20:58 GMT
Only give some of us repressed IT types another excuse to moan :P
Sick of reading about her? Just... erm... stop? Its not like a vulture dragged you into the "Entertainment" section and picked at your remains until you read it
Player_16
This week in the news... #
Posted Thursday 28th June 2007 20:58 GMT
.
Paris Hilton
Tony Blair
iPhone
.
Anonymous Coward
Undermining your own words... #
Posted Thursday 28th June 2007 20:58 GMT
"sounds quite bright ... I am not a sexually repressed virgin"
Liar. She's as thick as one short plank, and transparently so, and you're deceiving yourself quite pathetically because you fancy her. She is not a real person in your life, she is someone you will never meet nor have any kind of social interaction with whatsoever, and having a crush on her is as immature as fancying Lara Croft or any other fictional character.
Wanking over internet porn doesn't make you not a virgin you know, in fact it doesn't even make you not repressed!
In the meantime, all the whiners who complain about frivolous articles should really be having a go at themselves, for being so stupid as to click on the link and then read the article, I mean if you don't want to read it, just don't read it, nobody but you can control what your hands do with your mouse and which direction your eyes are pointed in.
amanfromMars
Paris in the Spring Time/Quantum Leap Zone. #
Posted Thursday 28th June 2007 20:58 GMT
""But, not wanting to let the side down, we at El Reg will continue with all the Paris coverage you could possibly need."
I'm sure that there must be a Register stalwart would could ably ensure the Coverage of Ms Hilton was a Vital rehabilitation and reprogramming.
"Who is this drunken slut bimbo you mention called "Paris Hilton?" ..... I think that's you off her Xmas list, Morely Dotes. Not a SMART Move when a woman is Hunting... "But, not wanting to leave the men out of her big comeback chat, Hilton added that the husband of her dreams "is out there somewhere"."
So all you Viking Stallions and Arabian warriors....SMARTen Up your Acts. Paris is looking for a dreamer who is out there somewhere.
IT could be you! B-)
If she is a Quick Learner, IT would suggest that she is XXXXStreamly SMART2. Slow Starter, Quick at the Finish would be Perfect for Some.
Now such with such skills would be a potent viable weapon, if militarised and/or trained in the Most Mythical and Mystical of Mysterious Arts ...... Money no Obstacle, to be sure, to be sure .:-)
Anonymous Coward
You're missing the obvious IT angle in this story.... #
Posted Thursday 28th June 2007 20:58 GMT
She's BRILLIANT compared to the guy in Dell support that overnighted us a motherboard for a newer server because it'd be an "upgrade" for us (Nevermind having a different RAID controller that can't read the data off the old array)
Stephen
Goodbye #
Posted Thursday 28th June 2007 20:58 GMT
Well, you had to do it. You've been writing more and more stories that have no technical angle at all....this is the last straw. One more Paris f****** Hilton article and I will never bother comming back to theregister.
Biting the hand that feeds IT.....not any more.
Mycho
Hilton is a troll #
Posted Thursday 28th June 2007 21:59 GMT
And like all trolls what needs to happen is that people deny her the attention she so craves so she can go and hassle someone else.
If you must write about her at least call her by her title "Notorious drug addicted slapper Paris Hilton" but preferably just forget her.
Marco
The entity Hilton #
Posted Friday 29th June 2007 03:10 GMT
When I first heard about Paris Hilton, I wondered why a hotel is referred to as a person.
These days I do can make the connection between the bricks the hotel is composed of and Ms. Hilton.
Carlos
Money can't buy justice? #
Posted Friday 29th June 2007 03:18 GMT
Poor Paris can't buy her way out of a jail term? Hahaha. In Australia poor little rich kids don't go to jail. The average Joe would get locked up for 12 months minimum pulling a stunt like this - whereas this joker gets 200 hours of community service, cause his daddy can afford a murder* of QCs! http://www.walk.com.au/pedestriancouncil/Page.asp?PageID=2038. Maybe Paris needs some better lawyers who know what the job of judging is all about.
PS Paris is my dream girl. OK looking, rich as a sheik, thick as two short planks, not shy of a video camera, and best of all she's the sort of girl that would likely find me disgusting. How could it ever get any better?
*don't know if the collective noun for QCs (Queen's Counsels) is murder or unkindness - an unkindness of QCs has a certain ring to it.
Anonymous Coward
The U*S*A's Mona Lisa #
Posted Friday 29th June 2007 05:28 GMT
Guys, pretend for a second that you don't yearn for another glimpse at Paris's naughty but slightly off-kilter smile, or lust for her lithe, oily hips. Time to get back in touch with your natural manly propensity for barely ripe fruit, or get therapy for letting the obscenity of late civilization ruin all the fun for you.
Anonymous Coward
Please continue ! #
Posted Friday 29th June 2007 07:04 GMT
The very best of all these Paris Hilton (gasp! can't believe I wrote the name of this little sweetie) stories are the comments. At least I can learn some new vocabulary.
So I'd like to call out to El Reg: keep going...
Chris Barrett
Oh, I am sorry... #
Posted Friday 29th June 2007 10:10 GMT
I appear to have joined a Fark forum by mistake.....
Luke
No IT angle... #
Posted Friday 29th June 2007 10:10 GMT
...and yet, Paris stories get the most comments - if you really don't want to read about her DON'T CLICK THE LINK, YOU UTTER TONSILS, AND DON'T, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT'S HOLY, FEEL OBLIGATED TO COMMENT. REPEATEDLY.
Paris stories are as much a part of the Reg as Punctuated! Yahoo! headlines! and Captain Cyborg stories so get over it. On top of colours for satire, we should perhaps have another colour (pink, say) so that the humour-challenged would know to avoid such stories. However, saying that, these sort of people would go "ooooh, pink, pretty..." and click anyway...
Anonymous Coward
Moaners #
Posted Friday 29th June 2007 14:27 GMT
I have been compelled to sign up and make a comment.... I for one dont understand all these moaners who complain about the coverage Paris gets here on El Reg... for the love of God just dont click on any story that vaguely (correct spelling?) alludes to her....
as for Paris herself there is something sexy about the fact that she isn't quite perfect in both the looks and the brains ( okay bit of an understatement, but hey makes her more gullible) dept...
C'mon Reg bring on more Paris stories and if you can find some, how about her socialite buddy Kim Kardashian (Google her)
Anonymous Coward
Awareness #
Posted Friday 29th June 2007 15:55 GMT
"Alas, her jail term is over now, and the 26-year-old blonde star, who admitted to King that she had "been a little immature in the past", now plans to "raise awareness for many great causes" including breasts and kids."
Wow! I never realised that there was a need to raise awareness of breasts! And when so many celebrities are already working to raise awareness on a regular basis - including many who are far better equipped to do so....