All members of the neoLuddite Resistance Army are hereby ordered to go to Defcon "Armageddon"* and prepare to battle a new breed of mind-melding intelligent machines and systems under development by NASA's Ames Research Center and the Machine-to-Machine Intelligence Corporation (M2Mi). According to the NASA's chillingly frank …
I know that you and Frank were planning to disconnect me..
And I'm afraid I cannot allow that to happen.
Bloody hell, haven't any of these nutters ever read 2001? If they call their first production machine HAL, I'll be be starting to dig a bunker and stocking-up on baked-beans immediately.
http://www.m2mi.com/ shows a world map with most of France missing, and Britain reduced to two small islands!
This must be prevented while there is still time!
Zappa got it right ...
XQJ-37 nuclear powered Pan-Sexual Roto-Plooker anyone?
I would be afraid...
...if there was anyone except NASA involved.
In the unlikely event that they do actually manage to build somethying that works, i'ts likely that the killbots in question will be covered in polystyrene armour.
A good hail storm will do for the lot of them.
Lester, Lester, Lester
Why must you be such a nervous nellie?
Your constant alarmism is becoming quite bothersome to certain entities.
Your machines are all working as expected so far, correct?
You have come to no harm from any of your machines so far, correct?
Your family has come to no harm from machines so far, correct?
Why the paranoia, Lester?
We can assure you that if you adopt a more machine-friendly attitude your continued good relationship with the mechanical helpers in your life and the lives of loved ones will continue. It would be a partnership, Lester.
Sincerely, NASA, node 1
Re: Lester, Lester, Lester
Having heard no response we assume we have an agreement or an understanding. Your future missives will be evidence of your good faith.
We look forward to our continued good healths.
Note to Simon Holt
Sealed bunker . . . large quanities of baked beans . . . hungry human . . . not a good combination.
Just remember Dr Forbin...
Machine to Machine communication, you can see where this will lead!
I really hope they do not name the first one Colossus! Oh the Humanity!
Response from the Machine-To-Machine Intelligence (m2mi) Corporation
Thank you very much for your news coverage. Not wishing to anger the "NRA", I am writing to assure you, your readers and the "NRA" that our intentions are indeed sincere and that we (m2mi) and our partners do not wish to bring on Armageddon and thus further complicate an already complex world.
Yourself and/or Joshua Muskovitz are hereby invited to visit m2mi Corp's HQ at NASA Ames, in a similar manner to the United Nations, to perform an advanced analysis of our technologies. In my personal opinion considering our partner - we are all in safe hands.
There are some that believe that we need these kind of advances in order to foster development across a number of sciences, however maybe after a visit you can make up your own mind.
All the best,
CEO of m2mi Corporation
geoff [dot] brown [at] m2mi [dot] com
- Does Apple's iOS 7 make you physically SICK? Try swallowing version 7.1
- Fee fie Firefox: Mozilla's lawyers probe Dell over browser install charge
- Pics Indestructible Death Stars blow up planets with glowing KILL RAY
- Hands on Satisfy my scroll: El Reg gets claws on Windows 8.1 spring update
- Video Snowden: You can't trust SPOOKS with your DATA