back to article Dutch boffins tout green petri-dish synthetic meat

Dutch bio-boffins are seeking to sate modern consumer lust for animal flesh by growing artificial pig tissue from stem cells. According to a Reuters report, academics at Utrecht University reckon that vat-grown synthi-pork would benefit the environment and involve less cruelty than current methods. In particular, methane …

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Soylent Green is

Dutch?

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mmmm flesh

If it becomes viable to do this, it should also be possible to cultivate synthi-human flesh for legal 'cannibalism'. MMMMMeat.

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I will eat green eggs and ham..

or green ham and eggs..

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Silver badge

'Oryx and Crake'

I strongly recommend 'Oryx and Crake' by Margaret Atwood (unlike her other books, this is a great sci-fi-esque novel) which explores some of the same concepts in passing - what is the line between growing 8 chicken breasts in nutrient gel and hydroponic growth of plants...

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Long pig

At last! the promise of human flesh without the legal implications.

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Soylent Green? Nah

Soylent Green has little to do with synthetic meat - wasn't it human hamburger?

Instead, think of Chicken Little in "The Space Merchants", a classic SF novel by Cryl Kornbluth and Fred Pohl.

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Anonymous Coward

Great idea

Ought to free up a lot of land for other uses. Even if it doesn't bring an end to animal farming, the resultant product may well replace traditional animal extracts used within mass production chain-store food. Vegetarians could arguably go back to bacon sandwiches.

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doubtful.

I doubt very much that they would want to be called providers of "green" meat. Damned if I'd buy green meat. I usually throw it out when it gets to that stage in the first place.

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Oh well

Oh well , totally synthetic food , what's next totally synthetic android soldiers with built in use by dates from the movie "Blade Runner" directed by Ridley Scott screenplay by Hampton Fancher and David Peoples inspired by Philip K Dick circa 1982!

But then again , a certain loopy drunken US President could use that concept now as a disposable army to fight in his ever unpopular new colonial conquest wars to pillage resource rich countries!

The Bio-genetic war has begun in earnest! , what price the future!

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Lazy Man's Sandwich

"The Dutch pig-culture pioneers can currently produce only thin layers of meat. Such meat-sheets may need to be laminated..."

I'll take hot mustard and mayo between my layers

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Anonymous Coward

But is it Halal?

Would this be suitable for our muslim brethren to eat?

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I'll tell ya what'll kill ya...

Like one well know comedian said, "Red meat doesn't kill you. Greeeeen meat'll kill you".

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A question for Uruguayan Rugby players.

Would they consider this an adequate substitute for their favourite dish or will they insist on the real thing?

"Some artificial bacon to go with the Chianti sir? Tastes of human.."

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/11/10/tasty_humans/

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Meat sheets!

http://angryflower.com/meatsh.html

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It's all part of the plan . .

. . to prepare for the arrival of our noodly overlords from another planet. Actually, these so-called scientists are hardly of scientific origin, nor are they Dutch. They are bio-reformers from mu Ara b, currently posing as humans via Internet chat rooms - but nobody has ever seen them.

This report heralds the coming of the Fryers, who will throw this artificial product into great vats of boiling oil in order to serve as starters when the Rulers arrive.

Hey, it's as good a reason as any to throw a party, right ?

;-)

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Re: A question for Uruguayan Rugby players.

Anyone remember the Hale and Pace spoof of this, with Gareth washing dishes and standing them in a human ribcage to drain?

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presumably?

How can you only presume that muscle with no nerves would not feel pain?

There are no nerves to transmit electrical signals and there is no brain to receive those signal to so there is no "presumably" about it!

Likely what will happen is a team of cops will be called out one day to investigate some happenings at the "Real Meat Factory" and things will go "pear shaped" from there. If you want to simulate this future, play a game published by Eidos called Project Eden.

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