Tesco has issued old timers working at some of its 1,500 stores with a handy guide to the kind of English guaranteed to have Middle England choking on its cocoa - that favoured by hoodies, wannabe homies, and anyone under 21 who considers the baseball cap to be the US's greatest contribution to English street culture. The …
Yoof speke 2moro
A cunning plan, worthy of Baldrick. Once the Yoofs suspect that mainstream humanity can understand their tortuous dialect, they will soon stop using it. Nothing annoys a teenager more than the knowledge that his/her/its elders can comprehend their chat.
Funny, it isn't april...
This has to be a joke, right?
I wonder when I can request literature from my council to be printed up in text speak for me, after all they dish it out in welsh.
"We youngsters learn a lot from the old timers. It is very interesting to talk to them - especially when they go on about the war. Hopefully, we will be able to have even better conversations with them now with the help of this guide."
So this 18-year-old yoof is perfectly capable of forming sentences without recourse to juvenile street slang. Sounds like this is yet another 'solution' to a non-existent problem, basically keeping some marketing-drone in work and drumming up a bit of publicity for the chain.
Gather there around, dobby malchicks, and come viddie these horrorshow platties! etc
It's not just the octogenarions who need help - what about the 40-somthings?
So Tesco think that their older staff should condescend to learn yoof speek, eh?
I say we distribute a leaflet among the under-24s explaining why "'sup, Homie?" is not an appropriate greeting for any situation and that "being well mingin', innit" is not grounds for a refund under the Sale of Goods Act.
Whatever happened to...
Whatever happened to having cancer on ones oddy-knocky, followed by goolying out with ones droogs in search of ptitsas, getting pyahnitsa, crasting cutter, and having a jolly good drat?
The molodoy ones today eh?
Re: Funny, it isn't april...
You clearly have never worked in Tesco. =(
So I wonder how many non-existent words and phrases were suggested by Mr Church's daughters?
And I bet he thinks he's a great dancer at the disco as well!!
Here's a novel thought...
How about teaching the "youngsters" to speak properly, like wot I do? ;)
One of the problems with this society is that we are pandering to their lazy self-absorbed culture - "bitesize" learning is about all they can manage. No wonder the upcoming generation are low achieving and scared of failure and that anyone who can afford to sends their offspring to independent schools to get them away from Tony "Education education education" Blairs schools policies.
This could be contraversial
Hang on.....I've got it...teach people to speak properly or at least the queens english !!! This would mean that anyone could understand anyone else (well except an Aberdonian)
...Tesco should consider buying books for schools to improve the "yoof's" vocabulary.....
Once upon a time...
...youngsters knew how to address adults.
It's like such a good idea
What a load of rubbish.
We are just making it easier for the yoofs to get away with their slang talk.
If they can't communicate then THEY need to go away and learn how to speak propa like so whatever init.
Wot sum ov us need?
If a Tesco employee reckons it's a good idea then why hasn't he just said
"Yeah, it's sick, izzit. Seen."
That exchange of words was the funniest thing I've read all week XD It's very true to life as well, you should be a writer (if you're not already) ;)
Enough of the language barrier
I want to understand the whole crotch-of-the-pants-around-the-knees-with-all-of-pants-on-show thing.
Typical moaning from the old farts
The English language has, lets face it, always changed, and it always will and for this reason there is no such thing as speaking properly, old words die, new ones are created all the time! (http://www.askoxford.com/asktheexperts/faq/aboutwordorigins/quiz for example) Do you think 100 years ago the way you speak you have been considered 'proper', of course not!
Language changes for a number or reasons: regional dialects merging / immigration / exposure to other cultures, getting around limitations of the language, adapting to new mediums (IM / Text speak) and of course identity / community (ghetto or 'leet speak (back in the '90s)), or just because people hear a new word and they like it!
Although it may be true that with the spread of globalisation that this is speeding up / more noticeable.
But it seems to most of the people on this site anyone under the age of 30 who speaks differently is a lazy, self-absorbed, low achieving criminal, then complain about a lack of respect! (Do you post a lot on HYS on the beeb? If not you should take a look, I think you'd like it)
Kinda (slang alert!) reminds me of Family Guy:
"Hey, why do you cops always have to harsh our buzz?"
"He used a teenage colloquialism; Break out the tear gas."
But as noted by other posts the idea of a single guide to lazy-drunk-violent-yoof-speak is fundementally flawed as, guess what, different groups of lazy-drunk-violent-yoofs speak differently!
Although I do love the idea of the daughters making up words - Trying to remember the Blackadder episode where he met the guy who compiled the first dictionary!
I note that Tesco’s aren’t using perfect grammar themselves.
Note the "will" instead of "shall".
A summary of the situation so far.
`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
when are they going to add the supplement of texting.
they need to provide the supplemental reading of texting as well...
Re: Enough of the language barrier
It's just a refined version of "the pimp roll", a phrase coined by Tom Wolfe in his 1987 novel "The Bonfire of the Vanities".