A traumatised law student has joined the swelling ranks of those mugged for their mobiles after being relieved of his phone in a mob-handed anserine attack, The Sun reports. Four geese set about Sam Rozati, 23, as he walked past their nest in Colchester. During the brutal attack they "pecked so hard he dropped his phone", …
I hate geese
We have too many Canadian Geese here in New England. They stay year round because people feed them, and get quite aggressive if they think you have food. For kids in the park its scary when a dozen or so loud honking hissing things come at you.
Every time I see them I just wish I could legally take my sword and decap one or two to take home and cook.
They were trying to protect him!
He should be thankful. The geese were obviously using their animal instincts to protect him against evil cancer-inducing radio waves coming from the phone, which (obviously) animals can detect, much like earthquakes, volcanoes, WiFi, etc.
I never knew geese had taste..
Geese attacking a trainee lawyer. Respect to the feathered assailants, they have gone up in my estimation no end.
Now if we could just train them to attack RIAA lawyers...
Hurrah for geese!
I like geese.....
I once saw two geese bully a cyclist into the canal!
Mug them before they mug you...
as a seasoned geese-mugger I suggest that you should strike first and let them know who's boss! I've found in my experience that grabbing the ring leader round the neck is often sufficiently scary to the rest of the muggers that they flap their wings and disperse to the far side of the pond. Of course you shouldn't try this unless you are confident in your abilities; I suggest that you start on ducks and move up to geese. Eventually you may feel confident enough to try swans!
The technique I prefer is to lull the victim into a false sense of security so that they feel as thought they have the upper hand. It's very much the same no matter what sort of animal you want to mug; if you adopt a low stance the victim will think that you are less of a threat. So, squat down to geese level and use your weak hand to simulate a goose neck / head. The muggee will give your hand plenty of attention especially if you move it around in an avian manner. Whilst this is going on you should strike out with your other hand and grab the bugger round the neck (close enough to his head so he can't peck you). Once you've caught him you should try to subdue him quickly so he can't fight back. I prefer not to harm animals, so I would suggest nothing more than covering the goose to prevent it from wildly flapping and perhaps hurting itself or you!
Geese like these really get my gander up..
Message from Bird Command
Evidence exists that suggests birds navigation aparatus is adversely affected by mobile phone emissions... could this have been a deliberate act of defense?
Rozati is going to be a lawyer?
Sam Rozati sounds like a big crybaby. He won't make much of a lawyer.
'anserine' - lovely!
He will prob turn into one of those "No Wing, No Flee Lawyers"... boom boom!!!