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True believers and Golden Palace Casino take note: we have just received news that Our Lord has manifested himself in a four-gig Samsung Flash memory chip - complete with beard and ethereal "flower petal halo" effect. A simulacrum of Jesus in a Samsung flash memory chip Yay verily, as the Bible sayeth (Luke 21:27): "At that …

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It looks more like Archbishop of Cantebury

Rowan Williams to me.

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call the CIA

That's clearly an image of Osama Bin Laden.

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Anonymous Coward

Hmmm....

I always knew that Jesus fellow was fabricated....

Oh dear...

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ahhh...

So that's where Osama's been hiding.

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Spanish Inquisition?

"Several hardened atheists here at Vulture Central have suggested this is in fact Gandalf - a heretical suggestion given that Gandalf is a fictional character without the power to manifest himself in silicon. We have, accordingly, emailed their details to the Spanish Inquisition."

I bet they didn't expect that....

....and yes I should get a life.

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Anonymous Coward

THIS IS SPARTA!

If you can't work out who I think it looks like, there's no point trying to explain

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Silver badge

That's clearly an image of Osama Bin Laden

Yes.

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Oh, Dear.

NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Amongst their weapons are fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and an almost fanatical devotion to the pope.

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It looks more like...

It looks more like Papa Lazarus from The League of Gentlemen.

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How will this effect Global Warming?

 

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Easter Island statue?

Looks like an Easter Island statue to me - it's all in the nose. It obviously shows that the advanced civilisation based there were masters of silicon computing long before ourselves. Just think of the memory capacity of a twenty-tonne stone face!

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Last orders, pls

" ... and before we all nip to the pub for one last pint before the final judgement ..."

where, I take it, the bartender will throw, a la

Douglas Addams, a "last orders, please" :-)

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Baphomet

Looks more like Baphomet, or possibly the Goat of Mendez to me, though sitings of both of these are equally apocalyptic in tone.

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Spanish Inquistion

And nice red uniforms. Must not forget those!

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JP

How bored do you have to be...

To scan a flash chip for random images???

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Gold badge

I reckon...

...that it looks a tad like Lemmy Motorhead meself.

Is it particularly speedy flash Ram perchance?

Tim

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Anonymous Coward

Gandalf is NOT fictional!

Is there no limit to heresy these days? Gandalf was a mighty king in Southeast Norway back in the time before that powermonger Harald decided to tax everybody. Gandalf only taxed those who came too close to his castle.

His sons are rather notorious, though. They had a nasty habit of burning houses with their enemies inside, and were eventually killed by angry farmers.

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Can't you see it's Confucius!

After a year living in China and visiting many temples I can inform you that it is in fact Confucius. Look at the eyes they are clearly Chinese. Jesus was Middle Eastern and was about 30 when he died; this is without doubt an older man.

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It is obviously

Rob Zombie

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Silver badge

Yeah right...

.... so what is so special about this? For thousands of years man and his imagination have seen images and signs in the most unlikely of places, Interpreting them in such a way as to support whatever their view of the Universe is. Personally I think it looks more like what was previously suggested, Lemmy, with a pentagram in the background. Perhaps we should not be waiting so much for the return of "the son of man", but listening for the clattering of horses hooves?

btw, I see an image of Jade Goody every time I look at the back of a bus.

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I once. . .

. . .Took a photo of a tortilla chip that had a hold in it that looked something akin to a dolphin.

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Highly illogical man

Clearly it is "Hippy Spock" from yet another alternate universe.

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Instant pestering services

No way, that is the Wwwyyzzerddd.com from Aqua Teens.

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If you look at it upside down

It looks like Ross Noble being fed to a shredder.

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Anonymous Coward

More like Spiderman

Has spiderman's eyes, and a beard. Gandalf dressed up as Spiderman? :P

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Bronze badge

It's Brian Blessed

King of the bird people, not King of the Jews.

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Anonymous Coward

Yep, It's definitely Brian Blessed

Turn it upside down and blur your eyes...

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Chip art

For years designers have been putting various kinds of art on their chips.

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chip art

these have been included in microchips since they were created

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chip_art

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GANDALF IS NOT FICTIONAL

How DARE you say that Gandalf is fictional?!

I have several books Right Here that talk all about him! Crap on a crutch, where have you guys been?!

As alleged journalists you should KNOW by now it couldn't be published if it weren't true!!!! MOREOVER, there's only ONE book with Jebus in it! Sheesh!

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He's not the Messiah... he's just a naughty boy!

Nor is it Gandalf or Osama.... it's Yosemite Sam from the Bugs Bunny cartoons!!

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RMS!

Clearly its Richard Stallman, saint IGNUcius of the Church of Emacs. He also often wears a halo. His appearance on the flash chip is a clear prophecy that Linux must be installed on the flash memory or at least it should be formatted with a free filesystem such as ext3. OOPS! I mean, not Linux but GNU/Linux! Or just GNU.

All hail GNU!

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Anonymous Coward

Haysoos on a chip?

Obviously, a conspiracy by the Pope aimed at the Latin American community who seem to find a miracle in every knothole, subway station pee stain, and cheese sandwich.

How insensitive!

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Anonymous Coward

Maybe it wasn't the Pope!

On a Samsung chip?...It might have been The Rev. Sun Myung Moon, our Unification Church "Seoul Brother" from Korea.

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Anonymous Coward

Jesus on a Chip

Last time Jesus appeared on a chip, it was on a tortilla in Mexico. A woman flipped the tortilla over, and saw the face of Jesus. Ignoring the priest's assurances that this was not actually Jesus, she enshrined the tortilla and had people coming to venerate it. Not sure if it's still around - this was some years ago.

Anyway, this person looks a lot like Charles Manson. Or bin Laden, or just about anyone with longish hair and a beard. Why couldn't it even be Judas?

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I have longish hair and a beard.

I therefore declare, ex cathedra, in my capacity as Pope Visible Eyebrows, that it is me. Since I am a Pope, and therefore infallible, the argument must now cease on pain of excommunication.

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Anonymous Coward

Twins?

Some of the above concepts lead me to ask, in a suspicious tone of voice, has anyone ever seen Jesus and Osama bin Laden in the room at the same time?

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Rob

Back from the dead?

Surely it's not Jesus, but Rasputin?

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Anonymous Coward

The Faith-based All-Powerful

(Luke 21:27): "At that time they will see America's spiritual leader Pastor Ted Haggard coming in the White House with power and great glory." Bendeth thine ears also to the words of Karl Rove 24:27: "By the grace of Diebold, for as the lightning comes from the east and flashes to the west, so will be the coming of the grandson of Prescott Bush."

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