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back to article Austrian OAPs in crazed hare terror ordeal

Austrian police have defended their decision to shoot a "crazed" hare which savaged a Linz pensioner before laying into her husband and subsequently battling with officers called to the scene. According to Spiegel Online, the elderly target of the assault was hanging out her washing in her garden on Monday when the leporine …

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Silver badge

Oh, someone has to do it...

Tim: "That is not an ordinary rabbit ... 'tis the most foul cruel and bad-tempered thing you ever set eyes on."

.

. .

. . .

All: "Run away, run away!"

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cor

Well, that's no ordinary rabbit.

Tim: There he is!

King Arthur: Where?

Tim: There!

King Arthur: What? Behind the rabbit?

Tim: It *is* the rabbit!

King Arthur: You silly sod!

Tim: What?

King Arthur: You got us all worked up!

Tim: Well, that's no ordinary rabbit.

King Arthur: Ohh.

Tim: That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!

Sir Robin: You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!

Tim: Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer!

Sir Galahad: Get stuffed!

Tim: He'll do you up a treat, mate.

Sir Galahad: Oh, yeah?

Sir Robin: You manky Scots git!

Tim: I'm warning you!

Sir Robin: What's he do? Nibble your bum?

Tim: He's got huge, sharp... er... He can leap about. Look at the bones!

King Arthur: Go on, Bors. Chop his head off!

Sir Bors: Right! Silly little bleeder. One rabbit stew comin' right up!

*Copyright Monty Python of course.

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Hmmm, sounds familiar....

TIM: Too late!

[dramatic chord]

ARTHUR: What?

TIM: There he is!

ARTHUR: Where?

TIM: There!

ARTHUR: What, behind the rabbit?

TIM: It is the rabbit!

ARTHUR: You silly sod!

TIM: What?

ARTHUR: You got us all worked up!

TIM: Well, that's no ordinary rabbit.

ARTHUR: Ohh.

TIM: That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes

on.

ROBIN: You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!

TIM: Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide; it's a killer!

GALAHAD: Get stuffed!

TIM: He'll do you up a treat mate!

GALAHAD: Oh, yeah?

ROBIN: You mangy scots git!

TIM: I'm warning you!

ROBIN: What's he do, nibble your bum?

TIM: He's got huge, sharp-- eh-- he can leap about-- look at the bones!

ARTHUR: Go on, Bors. Chop his head off!

BORS: Right! Silly little bleeder. One rabbit stew comin' right up!

TIM: Look!

[squeak]

BORS: Aaaugh!

[dramatic chord]

[clunk]

ARTHUR: Jesus Christ!

TIM: I warned you!

ROBIN: I done it again!

TIM: I warned you, but did you listen to me? Oh, no, you knew it all, didn't

you? Oh, it's just a harmless little bunny, isn't it? Well, it's always

the same. I always tell them--

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Cuddly Perps

Yesterday it was an Anteater and now a Hare. Where is it going to end? A very pythonesque episode indeed.

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House !

I don't know... you wait for months without seeing a single Monty Python quote and then...

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Silver badge

You've all stopped before the best bit too...

And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy." And the Lord did grin and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats and large chu...

"skip a bit, brother"

And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it." Amen.

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Bronze badge

Damn, beat me to it.

I don't know whether to be happy or depressed that so many people were thinking along exactly the same lines of "did they use the holy hand grenade fo Antioch" when they read the story? I fail to see the tech angle in this, but perhaps it was a robo-bunny (or perhaps RFID controlled?) and needs to be filed under ROTM?

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Anonymous Coward

Jimmy Carter

Jimmy Carter was attacked by just such a rabbit - he was able to defend himself with a boat paddle - great peacemaker that he was - the Secret Service watched and kept the dangerous animal in their Uzi sights until it relented and oddly swam away.

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Vorpal Bunny

Does anyone know if it was a survivor of the recent Highway Massacre? If so, (s)he might have been taking revenge for all the fallen Hares... (are police still combing the area? Rogain jokes, anyone?)

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Anonymous Coward

Hare today, gone tomorrow...

Sorry...

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