Britain's banking sector has been told to jizz up its customer databases to more effectively target the female market. Based on their latest research, financial consultants at Accenture are urging British banks to reorganise their "archaic IT" as well as the information they keep on customers so as to improve the way they …
JIZZ up the customer databases for women in IT?
Perhaps you need to change Jizz to Jazz maybe!? Need I say more?
"jizz up"- you mean "jazz up" surely. "jizz up" means something entirely different.
But will Jizz really attract more female bankers?
You're kidding right?
And I suppose Accenture is position to offer such services if the banks agree?
The thing with "ancient 60's mainframe technology" is that it is simple to add more programs that will do exactly what you want, and cheaply.
How many companies have been sold 'alternatives' to mainframes that they later found were many times more expensive, overly complex, and ultimately did not do what was promised?
"Jazz up", shurely?
Unless we want bank sites to develop hard core porn areas for women.
"jizz up its customer databases"
...the word you meant to use?
I hardly think 'Jizzing' up the databases is going to attract women.
Its a sticky area to get into.
surely you mean '...jazz up its customer databases...', or is this specific to the female demographic being, ahem, targeted?
interesting choice of words
So how exactly do you "jizz up" a customer database? Surely this would cause some sort of short circuit or other hazard (burns, chafing etc)?
Mainframe ... easy? Cheap?
I work at an insurance company where we are moving away from mainframe technology onto x86 server blades, using Java and .NET. I don't think anyone here would agree it's easy to do much with the mainframe -- VSAM file storage is a big feature killer -- and it's certainly not cheap to buy or maintain -- TCO is the big wallet killer.
The real typo?
"Britain's banking sector has been told to jizz up its customer databases to more effectively target the female market."
Maybe "jizz" is correct and "banking" is the real typo!
So. Leaving aside the typo...
Am I the only person to take offence at the suggestion that women are the only people who go through changes in their lives when the marry, have children, get divorced or widowed etc?
I've married, and it made a difference to my life. the impact on my lifestyle of children has been enormous. I have no plans to divorce, or be 'widowed', but I can imagine that, were the worst to happen, these would also make significant differences to my life. And I'm a man.
What is it that makes my experience of life changes less important than those of my female counterpart?