back to article Jedi denounce UK sabre ban plan

The UK's Jedi community today expressed concerns that government plans to ban Samurai swords could hinder their freedom to wield lightsabres in public. The UK's Home Office today issued a consultation paper ahead of legislation intended to ban Samurai blades by the end of the year. In a bid to "protect the public", replica …

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Anonymous Coward

Why not ban the lot?

I know we have freedom to do alot of things and I believe that is good, but people don't really need swords and knives and daggers and Star Trek Battle knives etc.. do they?

We don't actually really need knives with points.

I never use a point on a knife unless I am stabbing the chopping board to leave it standing on end and looking cool..... :)

Just ban all swords/knives over 6 inches and ban all points on knives.

OK that's playing into the Clever carrying hands of the triads, who have perfected the art of using an envelope shaped and sized blade, but surely if would reduce stabbing etc?

(probably increase the number of gypsies offering to sharpen you knives..)

and whilst they're at it ban all imitation guns. Only wierdo's and gangsters who get them converted by them...

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Anonymous Coward

Blasters

I would prefer it if the government would ban blasters. They are clumsy and random weapons, inaccurate even in the hands of skilled professionals, but they are easily available wherever there is scum and villainy. I am sure such a ban would cut (pun) blaster-related crime in one fell sweep (pun).

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Silver badge

Hahahahaha

Very Nice, only El Reg could start the spread of F.U.D. on Litesabers... Great cure for the monday blues...

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Re: Why not ban the lot?

There is a school of thought in my country that inanimate objects are neither good nor bad, just people. Just because criminals use guns, swords, and knives doesn't mean that good citizens should be deprived of them. Thugs are going to get weapons no matter how much stuff the government bans; why deprive good citizens of effective defensive measures against these scum?

I've done jobs (in remote areas) where it was advisable to carry a large knife with a good point. Even in the city I carry a knife. With an edge and a point. Lots of things can happen- what if you needed to break a car window, cut a seatbelt, open a box, cut a sandwich in half or fight to save one's life?

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Anonymous Coward

A bit premature

"Bus-Qyu Simpson"? Bad enough the US Congress moving up Daylight Savings Time without El Reg moving up April Fools Day.

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Where do you draw the line?

The ban against cheap replicas is probably a good idea, as they are more likely to fall apart and injure the person holding them if you hit anything solid (I'm sure there are examples of this on uTube). But where do you draw the line between replica and real. How could you tell the difference?

I fully believe that carrying openly/wielding them in public should be, and probably already is, banned. But not on sale and priivate ownership. As a fencer, a ban like that feels like the first few steps towards the death of my sport, are the police going to stop me and ask if my bag of sports kit (that looks remarkably similar to a bag full of swords) is legal, or are they just going to arrest me and leave me to sort it out later? I'm sure any japanese sword related sports (kendo, Iaido, Kenjutsu, etc) afficianados will agree.

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So just imitation 'samurai' swords?

Would that be Katanas, Wakizashi, or some other type of weapon carried by samurai? What about fencers, with their sabres and foils? What about the most commonly used weapon in Britain, the carving knife?

And I find the points on kitchen knives invaluable for digging bad bits out of potatoes.

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Ever tried cutting open a living human with a "pointless" knife?

I am sure that surgeons would have difficulty if all knives with pointed ends were banned!

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Re: Why not ban the lot?

"We don't actually really need knives with points."

Really. Obviously you don't consider how necessary that sharp point actually is. A narrow point on a knife is absolutely necessary when you're slicing meat away from a bone, for example, and a whole host of other uses which most people don't consider.

Notwithstanding this, the crominal element would find it very easy to obtain sharp pointy things in the face of a ban. Guns are completely illegal in this country yet that doesn't seem to deter gun crimes. In fact they've gone up year on year for the last decade. Unlike a ban on guns, a ban on sharp knives would not have any arguable benefits for the general public, especially considering that these blunted knives would still have a sharp and potentially lethal edge to them. Or should we all be using plastic knives?

It is already illegal to carry a knife longer than 5 inches in public, and it is illegal to carry a knife for the purposes of assault. Banning the point really does miss the point, as it were, because it doesn't prevent the most common use of knives as slashing weapons. Stabbings are actually less common, and as personal experience has shown me, no knife need be involved. A friend of mine was stabbed on a bus with a screwdriver. Should we ban those too?

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pointy knives

"We don't actually really need knives with points."

Try and fillet a flat fish (such as the delicious lemon sole I cooked for dinner tonight) using a knife without a sharp point. You'll find it's tricky, if not downright impossible.

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Tsk, the sort of Jedi you get these days....

"The Samurai sword ban is only the first step toward compulsory lightsabre confiscations," [Jedi Temple (Neasden) spokesman Indi-Anna Jones] said. "Everyone knows George Lucas based his series on the Japanese film The Seven Samurai - the Jedi will be next."

Actually... Lucas based his series on The Hidden Fortress. With slip-ups like this, no wonder the UK Jedi have such poor representation in Parliament.

Cheers,

Xavier Selph

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Excuse me while I whip this out...

Next they'll be banning the sale of forkhandles without the fork...!

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This post has been deleted by its author

Another blow for the sith

Well, here we go. Everyone knows the only people who can afford an armoury full of 6th centuary katanas are Sith lords.

I've a number of 'cheap replica' swords (well, not that cheap, but I'd guess they are for these purposes). I can't recall ever wandering out of a night to run through some vagrants, and collect them for the same aesthetic reasons people collect 'genuine' (i.e. older) oriental weaponry, combined with the fact I'm not quite able to throw £50k towards my interest in them. Frankly I'd rather face some unskilled yob with a cheap, half tang jobby than a wiley old aristocrat with a 5th centuary blade and 20 years of practice.

And like others have said, since when has the underworld ever had trouble obtaining what it needs? That gun ban's working out nicely still I see...

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What we SHOULD ban.

How laws against "Being Bloody Stupid"?

That would stop allot of crime, reactionary policies, like lets ban all sharp objects, and probably most MP’s getting elected in the first place.

Or how about we ban pointy sticks, oh and anything over a foot in length waying over 1kg, to stop these items being used as clubs.

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I have no idea...

...where or when my iai-to (katana-shaped martial arts sword used to practice the art of iaido - blunt and probably just stamped out of mild steel then polished) was made, or by whom.

Crims will just start using machetes and axes (neither of which have a point and both of which are quite capable of killing), if they are deliberately seeking lethal weapons, and loonies will still be able to find potentially nastier weapons than a crap piece of metal that will bend on bone (give you a nasty bruise, possibly even cut you). And if antique weapons are exempt, you'll still get disturbed people running amok with them occasionally.

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Anonymous Coward

End of freedom

You really take it as a joke.. but I really think it is no joke to live in a country that despises freedom. But I guess that there woulb be no evil shepards if there were no stupid lambs..

you are letting all your freedoms for supposed "security", while the only security you get is the lack of freedom.

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Ignorance and Idiocy in Parliament

Some people collect stamps. Some people collect butterflies. Some people collect coins. I collect replica swords and I can say with complete confidence that my hobby is just as safe as the ones I mentioned above. If I go out into the street and wave one of my swords at someone, I'd be arrested, rightly so. Why should it be illegal for me to hang them on my wall at home?

During the middle ages, there was a (albeit relatively short lived) belief among the "doctors" of the time that if someone had been stabbed, it was better to bandage the sword rather than the wound. This legislation is the same type of thing. Banning the sale and ownership of replica swords will not stop the criminal who would have used them from being criminals. They'll just find something more convenient to use.

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I must protest!

The Republic is rapidly degenerating into an authoritarian Empire, our rights are being eroded left, right and centre, trusty battledroids are slowly being replaced by thuggish armed clones on every street corner and the government is secretly building a huge orbiting battle station (according to El Reg passim, anyway), and all they can find to worry about is lightsabres that Jedi mainly use to impress girls by lighting their ciggies for them? What is the galaxy coming to?? And there's little hope for the future when the leader of the opposition can't even master basic English syntax.

Angry Of Corruscant.

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Brilliant

Banning knives has worked amazingly well within prisons, no one ever gets stabbed there any more

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Hold on now

Surely force pushing large objects onto people is much more lethal than light sabre damage? Just look at the number of cranes and scafolding that have collapsed in the UK during the last year, you really think that they just "fell over"? Think again, the Sith have a large prescence on Earth, just look at John Prescott aka Twojags Hutt.

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Mind trick that works on me

Police Officer: You! Yes, you lassie, is that a Samurai-lightsabre I see you wielding?

Young Girl (adeptly flicking her partially hidden left wrist signifying use of her jedi mind training): No, Officer. You must be mistaken. This is not a jedi lightsabre.

Police Officer: Of course it's a Samurai-lightsabre. I can see it's a Samurai-lightsabre. Those things are illegal missie. I'm afraid I'll have to confiscate it and take you in.

Young Girl (concerned she's been cornered by a disguised Sith Lord reverts to the oldest jedi mind trick in the book, swiftly, invisible to the naked eye she undoes the first three buttons of her blouse): Again, Officer, as you can see this isn't a jedi lightsabre. (Bending deeply over to point at the illuminated lightsabre). I've nothing to hide and this is just a walking stick. I like the feel of a good thick stick. Don't you?

Police Officer: Huh? Wha? Whats'at you got there? Well I guess it could be a walking stick? Do you live around here? Would you like me to see you home?

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Well that's how it is these days :-(

It seems that the way politics (or at least Fuhrer Tony's brand of politics) goes these dayas is that if anything is 'difficult' it's banned. We've had literally thousands of new offenses in the last few years - and I rather think that the vast majority are (just like this proposal) totally unneccessary as they are already covered by other laws.

The problem is 'convenience'. If there is a specific law against possessing (in this case) a Samurai Sword then it's trivially easy to take someone to court. Without it, there's that irritating requirement to demonstrate an intent to injure someone or whatever they shoudl decide to charge someone with.

It should be noted that many of the new offenses are done in such a way that the defendent must prove their innocence, again avoiding that irritating requirement to actually prove a case in court. Effectively for many offenses, it is now sufficient for you to be accused to end up in court - and it is then down to you to prove there is no case, never mind that in many cases it is hard to prove a negative !

Of course there is that other factor - SPIN. This governemnt runs on spin, and it's easier to pin "new law" = doing something than it is to spin "existing laws adequate" = doing something !

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Anonymous Coward

"No one has yet built a working lightsabre"

Depends on your definition of "working".

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/beds/bucks/herts/4575291.stm

"Two hurt in mock light sabre duel"

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WWIII

This is just like Hitler ordering that amnesty on all firearms in Germany. He then issued a statement saying "at last, we now know the location of every firearm in Germany. Germany is safe!"

2 weeks later he ordered the gestapo to confisgate them all. 2 weeks later, he invaded Poland!

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Sucks for you guys

Hey all you in the UK; I heard that people keep drowning in pools and getting burned alive in house fires every now and then over there... maybe your politicians should consider banning water and fire while you're busy banning any other basic human tools (like knives)...

Actually, I really do feel sorry for all of you in the UK. I mean, I'm going to pick up an AR-15 receiver from my dealer this afternoon, and now I hear that you all won't be able to own swords soon... Absolutely ridiculous, especially considering we borrowed virtually all of your body of laws when we made our country... You're all hereby invited across the Atlantic to visit my local shooting range. (But you'll have to buy your own ammo...)

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"Fuhrer Tony's"

It'll be Emperor Tony once he's swept away all mindless bureaucracy of the old republic..

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