Also in this week's column: Will robots ever become just like humans? How does the heart differ from other mechanical pumps? Is there such a thing as frigidity? "Frigidity" is the term formerly used for Inhibited Sexual Desire (ISD). ISD is a low level of sexual desire in one or both partners in a relationship. A person may …
ISD as a medical term for asexuality?
This sounds a lot like the various descriptions I hear for asexuality (as per asexuality.org), which has taken a life of its own as yet another sexual orientation (with of course a large community springing up around it).
I don't need to be cured
Saying there are cures for lack of sexual desire is like saying there are cures for homosexuality. It's not a disease, some of us are just that way.
I never had or wanted sex until I was 25. Then I met a woman who undressed for me just so I could see her private parts. We liked each other too so we got married. We had very little sex, but she eventually started to see this as proof I was getting it elsewhere. She finally got so obsessed with this suspicion she spied on me everywhere and made my life miserable. We attended reputable marriage counseling but it did not help. I finally left her after 12 years, and she saw that as more proof. Sigh.
I then found a woman who actually loved me and took my lack of desire as a simple fact. She thought she could live with it but after a while she wanted me try to get some desire. For four years I was in counseling and took medicines (luvox for "confidence" and as soon as it came out viagra, which didn't help because you have to be interested in the first place to get it jump started). Well nothing worked, so she finally had to admit she was lacking a big something in her life and she left me after 12 years. I was starting to wonder if 12 was my unlucky number.
But now I'm married again. After 3 years I think it's finally going to work out. We get along great and neither one of us cares for sex.
So lack of desire certainly does have a huge impact on ones life, I'll say that, but it's not a disease. I very much like being married in general: taking care of someone, being taken care of, planning futures together, etc etc; I just don't have any desire for sex. By other measures society would see me as quite normal: I have degrees in electrical and software engineering, have done some excellent work over the years, and have all the confidence I could ever want.
So be careful about who you say can be cured; they may not be ill.
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